I Need a Break from Dating

| 05/10/2009 | Comments (1)

 

 

Here I am in my 40s.  No longer a spring chicken, yet still a pretty hot chick.  But I think it’s time to start accepting the fact that I’m getting old. 

Why? 

Because I distinctly remember a time not too far in the distant past when I got excited about going out on a date… shopping for a new outfit, buying a new lipstick, the hairdresser stop, and the burning, urgent quest to find the perfect shoes and earrings.

Yeah well… that was then.  This is now.

When I think about going on a date these days, I no longer get excited.  I don’t get a tingle down my spine, nor do I wonder with anticipation if he could be “the one.”

What I think now is: “Crap! Do I have to?”

That’s why I am sitting here alone on a Saturday night typing this blog while the Lakers (aka Kobe) and the Nuggets battle it out to see who is going to win game #3 and go to the finals. By the way, the Lakers won.

I’m not taking a break because I think all the good ones are taken, nor do I believe that dating will be forever unattractive to me.  It’s just that I need a break.

I need time out from doing my hair, worrying about my nails, and wondering how much of my wonderfulness I should reveal on the first date.   I need a break from creating a list of safe topics to discuss, and from putting energy into making a good first impression.  I don’t want to even think about not eating too much because my jeans are already too tight!  I don’t want to think about table manners or whether I have food in my teeth either.

And I certainly don’t want to be bothered wondering if my very cute high heeled shoes are going to be having an argument with my toes in a few hours.  I seriously need a rest from the let-down feeling you get after a first date ends when you KNOW there will be no second one.

Know what I mean?

I’m going to take a break from the mating ritual of dating.  Instead I’m going to focus on the hows, the whys, the whens, the whats, and of course, the who’s.  My goal is to write something at least once per week, which first requires 6 days of deep thinking to gather my thoughts.

Which means I’ll be much too busy to even THINK about dating for at least a few weeks.

Thank God!

 

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Women's Issues

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  1. Dr. Haynes says:

    I totally feel you on this one. I rarely meet guys who are dating with a purpose other than being seen in public with a pretty woman or fishing for booty. Of all of the men I’ve dated over the past 2 years (at least 20 or so), one, yes ONE of them dated with the purpose of finding a mate. He is now married.

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