Kissing – Perfect Your Kissing Technique!

| 04/08/2011 | Comments (4)

Kissing techniques vary greatly… so does the appreciation or dislike for these different techniques. After interviewing hundreds of men and women on the subject over a seven year period, I’ve come up with some general findings that I’d like to share with you.

Who is Kissable?

Men and women both thought the idea of kissing someone who was clean, had beautifully full and shapely lips, who was attractive, and who possessed a great smile and nice teeth was a “10” on the kissable scale. Guys also felt that if a woman seemed open and friendly, she was more likely to be the recipient of a romantically spontaneous kiss than a woman that seemed uptight.

Who Likes Kissing the Most?

It seems that even though men think kissing is okay, they looked at it more as a necessary evil to get to the good part. Women seemed to prefer long, lingering kisses that didn’t necessarily have to lead to anything else. Reportedly, for a woman, pressure from their male partner to make it lead somewhere took away from the enjoyment of the moment.

What Types of Kisses are Best and Worst?

Kissing in public is cool, but not in front of Mom. Men loved to be kissed with their eyes open, so that you two lock eyes seems to drive them wild. Men and women both seem to like being kissed in places other than the lips with neck, ears and eyes ranking highly. We won’t discuss other body parts, because this is a PG-17 rated Web site.

Another important aspect of kissing is to use the middle part of the tongue in your kiss because of the large number of sensitive nerve endings there.  The kiss you give your partner will be positively electrifying!

The fun came with the kisses that ranked the worst. I’ve never laughed as hard as I did while hearing awful kiss stories shared by dozens of interviewees! Please review your kissing techniques and make sure that you don’t fall into any of these categories.

The Katrina Kiss.  If you watch television and are even the least bit aware of world events, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about! This is a kiss with entirely too much water. You are drooled on, slobbered on and when the kiss is over, you feel the need for a towel and maybe a shower. If you have a salivary gland problem, or your partner just makes you drool with lust, try SWALLOWING before you start KISSING.

The Iguana Kiss. Crusty, crunchy, scaly lips are OUT. This is a true case of lizard lips! Keep that kisser soft and touchable. If you run your lips gently across your lovers neck, cheek and lips, they shouldn’t be left with what look like paper cuts.

The Prozac Kiss. You might wonder if this tongue needs tranquilizers, as it appears to be having a nervous breakdown! Fast, furious, darting or high-speed swirling motions reminiscent of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. Interesting I suppose, if you’re into that sort of “household instrument” thing.

The Cave.  In this instance your partner’s mouth is open so wide that your tongue meets nothing but air on all sides! There is no exchange of sensation. It’s like you’re kissing by yourself! Try saying something and see if you hear an echo!

The Dirty Harry. Guys, either grow a beard or shave. That 5 o’clock shadow thing looks cute, but it can wreck havoc on a woman’s tender body. Whisker burn just plain hurts. You don’t know what it feels like to have sand papery stubble pierce the skin around your eyes or cheeks! With half her face scraped off, a woman feels less than romantic and is more inclined to get up to seek medical treatment than she is to get busy.

Trolling for Tonsils. Everybody likes tongue kissing, but my goodness! A little restraint on the depth of the kiss might be in order. If you have a tendency to extend your tongue to its full length in your partners mouth, be sure to check for a pulse when you get through.

The Kiss of Death. You would swear that there is a body buried around here somewhere, because the smell of decomposition is mighty strong! Brush those teefis! Use one of the vast selections of mouthwashes on the market. Hey, they even come in various colors, so it’s possible to find one that coordinates with your bathroom décor! Get a new toothbrush every 3 months! Visit your dentist and check for gum disease and cavities, both of which contribute to bad breath. Eat more fruits, vegetables, and drink more water to keep your insides clean too.

The best kisses are those that are memorable, but leave you pantingly wanting more. The language of a kiss is communication without words.  At various times you want to communicate attraction, affection, love, passion, lust, and I’ll miss you, baby.

Pay attention to what your mate responds to, and what seems to turn him or her off, then adjust your techniques accordingly. The goal is to go down in history as a man or woman with some serious Lip Skillz.

Hey now!

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder

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Comments (4)

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  1. eLLe85 says:

    LOL–It took some time to decode but it sounds like Michael dude loves kissing the juicy and sexy lips of a black woman!

  2. Lexi Free says:

    Totally agree with Raz…WTF is Michal talking about??? SPEAK ENGLISH…geeeeezze lol!!!

  3. The art of the kiss is often in the eyes of the beholder.
    As a student of such things, there needs to be a shout-out for cultural differences.
    As one that professes an expertise in the science thereof, it must be mentioned that there are some, blessed with a certain, “gifts of design”, that others simply can not compete, when it comes to the true art of perfection in a kiss.
    Those that have the endowments of fullness are fortunate possessors of a skill that is not relegated by those less endowed.
    Those with full lips of certain cultural backgrounds have a method of kissing that will leave their intended subject longing for life at a chance to experience such a pleasure again and again.
    For those that know to secret already know of that for which I speak.
    Those with lips of fullness on both upper and lower, share with another an experience like that of when one first experiences strawberry with chocolate.

    Their lips bring an experience unlike that of tongue and pressed faces alone can explore.
    The keepers of such treasures often have developed the skill of kissing unique to the culture.
    As others simply bring together their faces offering lips in embrace, those with fullness bring their lips outward to meet their lovers lips with a pre-step that the thin lipped folks can not offer.

    This embrace is difficult to explain to those less experienced, much like someone living in a desert being described the pleasures of a tropical beach with water lapping at their feet. They just can’t grasp it until they experience it for themselves.

    Michal Patrick

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