Dating Tips and Advice: The Go-Nowhere Relationship
The Manually Powered Row Boat
Some people find a row boat to be romantic, but I think rowing a boat is wayyyy too much work. That boat needs someone to row it,otherwise it just sits there and deteriorates. Even with great strength and endurance, the boat requires a lot of energy to go even short distances. They also require that any passengers remain still in their seats, otherwise the boat tips over and sinks.
Without adequate strength and endurance for the trip, the one rowing the boat will soon tucker out and drop the oars, leaving the boat adrift. Even worst is when the rower drops ONE oar (from exhaustion or accidentally). Then the boat and passenger are now going to go in nothing but an endless circle.
When both oars disappear underwater, you will find yourself “up shit creek without a paddle” which is a horrible place to be.
The Wind Powered Sailboat
Sailboats can be a pretty exciting ride – while the wind is up. With a strong breeze, they can move almost as quickly as speedboats. Sailboats require an experienced captain and first mate, a pair that is flexible and quickly able to raise, lower and adjust the sails to best utilize the ever changing direction of the winds that blow through life and relationships.
Sailboats require that the two of you work together as a team… in sync, leaning and pulling together to make your boat stay afloat and fly across the water. Sailboats require frequent inspections and often get holes in the sails. Patch or replace your sails immediately. You certainly don’t want to get stuck someplace where you have no wind to get you back home safely. But when a gentle breeze is blowing at sunset, there is nothing better.
Just Because It Floats Doesn’t Mean its a Boat
Spinning logs is what many women think they ought to be doing with their time. Socialized to believe women are responsible for creating the man they want, these women take the raw material of a wooden log and try to stay on top of it. Sure, it floats, but do you actually go in the direction you need or want? No, you don’t go anywhere but around and around in circles.
Log spinning means you are putting out a lot of energy and effort to keep something “moving” that has no ability to maintain or direct itself. Your log is at the mercy of the current, just bobbing along going wherever in no particular hurry, taking you downstream with it.
If you are a log spinner, you are wasting your time. The man you’ve chosen hasn’t even been carved into anything worthy of being called a boat. Be prepared for physical, mental and emotional exhaustion as you churn and churn, trying to get your log to do more than just lay there, drifting through life.
You will wear yourself out giving your love energy to something that is completely unable to love you back.
The Luxury Yacht
Sleek, luxurious, comfortable, yachts get you to where you want to go in grand style. Yachts come in a variety of sizes, shapes and colors, and in every “cost” range imaginable.
From smaller six passenger yachts, to 150 passenger mega-yachts – pick the yacht that suits your lifestyle and goals. Used yachts back on the market again can offer a great bargain – they have a bit of history, experience on the waterways of the world, and the rate of depreciation is far less.
Yachts may cost a lot – in savings, in effort, in sacrificing temporary pleasures for the greater gain. But in a yacht you can remain comfortable and cozy, only lightly affected by rough, choppy waters.
Conclusion
It’s important for women to understand the dynamics of dating and how to select a man that works for the long haul. Settling for whatever is in your face right now is not the way to do it. It saddens me to see women trying so hard to make do and pretend their log is a boat, or their leaky little rowboat can some day be magically transformed into a luxurious yacht.
If you have a sailboat, it may move quickly, but it won’t ever turn into a speedboat no matter how much you might wish it could. Men are what they are, accept that fact.
Men, just like boats, are designed for one specific use, and they do that one thing very, very well. Boats however are not designed to be multi-purpose. Choose your boat carefully. And if you want a yacht, don’t waste time filling up your harbor with boats.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
Unfortunately in the black community, we have a whole helluva lot of black men sitting there spinning like the bump on the logs they are, and very yachts. And a lot of black men because of religion can’t even be wind powered sailboats either because they don’t know how to work ‘together’ and cooperate with their women to get somewhere in life. They want to be the leaders when they have no idea where they’re going.
Awesome advice, Deb! I know too many women who need to jump off the logs. 😉