Pregnant by a Nothing Ass Man in Prison
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
When I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant, he was excited at first. Then next thing I know he spits in my face says it’s not his and he hopes my baby dies. Then turns around like he’s happy and wants to settle down. For the last three years he’s constantly cheated on me. Well, last week I couldn’t take it any more. He came over to my house and acted like all of a sudden he doesn’t want to see me anymore. He had a big hickey on his neck.
So I called the police and he got arrested for an outstanding warrant. Now he’s looking at three years in prison for a probation violation. I haven’t talked to him since then and that was a week ago.
I know I should get rid of him but now I’m wondering if I should have this baby. My boyfriend already has four kids he doesn’t take care of – all he cares about is women and drugs. He’s a good person when he’s sober, but that doesn’t last long. Once he gets out of jail he’s doing the same thing all over again. Should I go see him? I feel so bad. I was wanting his opinion on the baby, that is if he doesn’t want to kill me! I’m not sure if I want my baby to have a father like him.
Signed,
Pregnant and Confused
Dear Pregnant and Confused:
Girl, you are about the silliest female that has written me in years. This life you are leading is straight mad DRAMA.
Let’s start with the question of whether or not you should visit him. Please tell me why do you think you should visit a man in prison that is there because of your big mouth and jealousy? You were jealous because he had a hickey on his neck which to you was the last straw. You were angry and hurt because it seemed he was flaunting the fact that he screws other women. But why bother getting upset when you knew he had been trickin’ with ho’s for years? Bottom line, that man doesn’t want to see you fool! He has no respect for nor concern about you at all.
Now let’s discuss this pregnancy. Why in the world would you not use proper birth control and protect yourself from getting pregnant by a N.A.M. (Nothing Ass Man)? Why should he care if you ruin your life and saddle yourself with some “baby daddy brat?” What would be the point of setting yourself up to struggle along as a single parent, tied forever to a stupid, irresponsible male (because he certainly does not qualify to be called a man). Since you know he already has four children he’s not doing a thing for, why would you add an another innocent child into that silly mess?
You my dear don’t need a baby because you are lacking the intelligence, maturity, common sense and the personal discipline required to successfully parent a child. In other words, you don’t have the sense to raise a child. The baby would have about the same chance of growing up to be somebody as a snowball does in hell.
At least your thinking is on point about one thing, and that is questioning whether you should have a child by a man that has demonstrated that he has no sense of responsibility towards the children he has created. You should also concern yourself with the fact that he is a drug user, because dependent personalities (alcoholics, drug addicts, gambling addictions, etc.) are known to be genetically transferred from parent to child.
I suggest you go to the nearest abortion clinic and take care of things immediately. Your next stop would be to see a counselor who can help you refocus your energies so you can move forward in a positive direction, away from these types of loser guys.
It’s time to grow up young lady, and its way past time for you to learn how to appreciate and love yourself. Then, and only then, will you start making positive, growth oriented decisions instead of opting for ghetto fabulous stupidity.
MsHeartBeat
Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."
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Category: Dating Advice
