Told married man to leave me alone, but at times I get weak for him…
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I have gotten close (emotionally) to a married man recently going through a separation. However, I sent him a letter stating that he can’t do shit for me so leave me the hell alone. 
However, he called me back and said he didn’t want to let me go and I got emotional and changed my mind. Two weeks later I sent him a card saying that I missed him and I enclosed a personal item. I also told him that I can’t give all of myself to him and that I need him to be able to make love with me not just have sex. I also told him that I would like to get to know him better, since he can’t let me go and to get off the pot if he doesn’t plan to use it and if he doesn’t really want me let me go because other men were waiting in line to date me.
I know I told him to leave me alone, but I wonder why I haven’t heard from him in a couple of weeks.
My question(s) are: (1) was I obnoxious to tell him how I felt and what I wanted from him and if he can’t provide it to step off? (2) Also, why didn’t he call me back just to say no? We’ve been friends for about 2½ years and it hurts me more that he didn’t respond back with just a simple no. Also, I only slept with him twice in the past 3 years. I don’t want a sexship. I value myself so much more, but I do care for him and I times I got weak for him.
Signed,
Am I Wrong in DC?
Dear Wrong:
You told him the deal and he knows he cannot meet those demands, so he is wisely staying away. Anyway, he probably went back to his wife. That happens a lot you know… couples SAY they are going to divorce, and then they separate for awhile. However, no one falls out of love just like that; most people want try again, so they get back together.
Anyway, what is this bull crap about he “can’t let you go?” What is THAT? You leave if and when you get ready! He don’t run NOTHING but his mouth! YOU decide what to do with YOUR time and YOUR life. You are giving him entirely too much decision making power and control. Of course he is going to whine and cry to get you back – it’s an ego thing with men. It doesn’t mean he loves you, wants you or even likes you at all – it merely means that HE wants to be the one to do the dumping, and not let YOU do it.
All in all you are wasting time waiting around for someone else’s husband to get with you. Even if he DOES go through with his divorce, he will be a walking, wounded mess for months and months – maybe even years. Move on girlfriend. Take off running like Forrest Gump and don’t look back.
MsHeartBeat
Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."
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Category: Dating Advice
