Uh oh! I think my roommate is trying to put the moves on me

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My room mate keeps complaining about the size of his penis. I once told him that I’m satisfied with my size. Ever since, he kept telling me that he wants to see mine fully hard to compare.

Why is he doing that? I know he’s not gay because we’ve been sharing the apartment for years (and he got twice the number of girls I got so far), but I don’t really feel comfortable showing my hard-on to a guy!  Not even a close friend! What do you think?

Signed,
Don’t Go There

Dear Don’t Go There:
Jeezus he is SUPER GAY! What normal man wants to put his hard penis up next to some other guy’s penis to see whose is larger? I can tell you who… SOMEONE THAT IS SUPER GAY!

Don’t be fooled by the number of women that he has sex with – that means nothing. Have you ever heard of a “beard?” A “beard” is a slang reference to a woman a homosexual man dates or marries when he is not ready to announce his sexual choices. Usually, there is some risk with coming out of the closet – either socially, professionally or familial, so he hides who and what he is.  Some of the biggest players of women are the most gay; they just can’t (won’t) admit it to themselves or their buddies, so they hide their sexuality behind a facade of female conquests.

Your friend may not have come out and SAID anything, but his actions are saying all I need to hear. Dude has some very real gay tendencies and interests, at least where it comes to you.