Why Do Single Black Women Protect and Support Trifling Black Men?
Recently I’ve come across several posts penned by single Black women that laud the wonderfulness of Black men. These sistahs admonish Black women about their criticism of Black men’s behavior, attitudes and failure to thrive. They give dozens of excuses for these failures, and generally blame Black women for being angry and disgusted, instead of telling Black men they need to get their shit together. I think these women are after recognition and validation by Black men via any means they can find. These are the types that raise spoiled brat boys, and the type that have men that aren’t worth two cents on credit as their boyfriends and husbands.
These are the single black women refer to nothing of merit Brothas as “Kings” and “Royalty,” though they haven’t done anything even remotely resembling the behavior of a Monarch their entire life.
I can’t stand the “Rah Rah Rah! Black Men are So Great!” contingent of Black women. They get on my frickin nerves.
Black males that are NOT MEN will continue to be talked about badly, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Unless these fellas get their acts together and become respect-worthy BLACK MEN, then they deserve every single word of condemnation that comes their way. Why should they get the same reverence and respect from Black women of the men that DO work and that DO take care of their children receive?
Why is it that males that drop out to run the streets should get the same kudos as Black men that have goals for their lives and DO seek educational and career advancement (no matter how challenging)? To me 150% of the ranting and raving Black women do about guys that sit on their ass fucking up is well deserved… every single word of it.
To those Black women and men that don’t want to have Black women ranting about how trifling some men are, I have this to say: too damn bad!
And to those men that think single Black women are too harsh and should cut them some slack ’cause its hard out here on a Black man, I have this to say: too damn bad!
- You don’t want to be called a liar, then stop lying
- You don’t want to be called trifling, then stop ho hopping around and make a commitment to building a future
- You don’t want to look like a loser in the eyes of women and your family, then validate your children, love them, and spend time with them
- You don’t want to be considered a deadbeat dad, then pay your child support so your children don’t live in poverty
- You don’t want to be considered a player, then stop playing and victimizing women
- You don’t want to be considered abusive, then stop calling women bitches and ho’s and thinking its okay to hit on females
- You don’t want to be considered manipulative and underhanded, then stop playing mind games – be honest and truthful with people
- You don’t want to be considered a bum, then stop using your energy to come up with yet more ways pimp women for money, sex and a place to stay for free
- You don’t want to be considered stupid, then stay your butt in school and learn something
- You don’t want to look like an old ass pervert, then stop harassing girls young enough to be your granddaughter on the street
- You don’t want to be thought of as a N.A.M. (Nothing Ass Male), then have a plan for your life and get busy making it happen
- You don’t want to be considered nothing but a trick, then stop tricking your life away chasing women instead of wealth
It’s very simple for Black men to get Black women to stop talking about them – get your act together and give them something positive to say about you instead.
For those males who ARE men and to whom these descriptions and admonishments do not apply, excellent. I’m thrilled. But your work is not done. You can and should be telling those brothas to get it together yourself, not protecting them from being called out on their b.s. behavior.
Remember, your daughters, nieces, little sisters and baby cousins will be out here interacting with and dating these knuckleheads. Do what you can to create better men instead of being angry at single black women for pointing out the knuckleheadedness of so many Black men.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
