Black Churches – Where Women Pray and Men Prey

| 05/23/2012 | Comments (82)

Pray, Pay and Obey!

Black churches are full of black women and children. Black women are statistically the most church-going demographic in the United States. But what has all the being on your knees in black churches and praying brought you?

 ? ? ?

Not a husband!

Black churches are filled to the brim with single women waiting year after year after year for God to bless them with a man.

Not more money!

According to Black Enterprise magazine, the median wealth of the African American woman in the U.S. is less than $100, yet Black women fund pastors that live lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Not more power!The Black Church Where Women Pray and Men Prey by Deborrah Cooper

Black women have been brainwashed into believing that their primary “role” is to lift up and submit to Black men. No matter how smart and accomplished a Black woman is outside of church, once within those walls she is nothing without a man. 

Not more peace of mind!

Pastors are not trained or equipped to handle mental or emotional illnesses, yet they practice as mental health professionals – illegal in every state in the country.

Church is not a safe place for your children either, with rampant sexual abuse and molestation within Black churches at epidemic levels.

All that going to church does for Black women is keep your spirits wanting while you fatten the pockets of greedy pastors, hip to the last legal pimp game there is!

All that going to Black churches does is make you and your children easy prey for many types of predators commonly found in the pulpits and pews of Black churches across America.


Pray, Pay and Obey!


Based on the shocking blog post that had CNN, Al Sharpton, Michael Baisden, Michael Eric Dyson, Al Joyner and all of Black America in an uproar: “The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely!” author Deborrah Cooper continues an uncomfortable examination of the Christian religion, Prosperity Gospel, and Black preachers in The Black Church: Where Women Pray and Men Prey.

A shocking exposé of the manipulative games of female behavioral control, fleecing the flock and other questionable goings-on in Black churches across the U.S. In her newest book on the black church, Deborrah Cooper reveals the truth about how the church pimp game is used by unscrupulous black men to demean, sexually abuse and rob black women and their children in what is supposed to be the house of God!

Click to find out more information about The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Prey

Exposing Dozens of Shocking Realities About Black Churches…

  • Why children that attend Black churches are sitting ducks for child molesting pedophiles
  • How the church game in the pulpit and the pimp game on the streets mirror each other
  • Why the majority of Black women in church will hear nothing but false promises made by false prophets
  • How Biblical scriptures are cleverly twisted to manipulate your thoughts and behaviors with guilt and shame
  • The real reason there are few single Black males of marriageable quality in Black churches
  • Why no one prospers from Prosperity Gospel but the men to whom you give your money
  • How to take charge of your financial future and spirituality without ever setting foot in a church again

No matter how you feel about church, this book reveals some uncomfortable truths. 

Every black woman that thinks church is the best place to spend her time or money needs to read it.

Every black woman that takes her children to church needs to read it.

Every black woman that spends more than an hour per week ‘in service’ to a church needs to read it.

Every black woman that worships her Pastor even more than she worships God needs to read it.

Every black woman that shouts that she is married to Jesus needs to read it. 

Listen to podcast with Author Deborrah Cooper explaining the issues behind this book and the reasons she was motivated to write it!

Listen to internet radio with Ms HeartBeat on Blog Talk Radio

Click here to participate in the Preyed Upon in God’s House research survey upon which certain sections of the book and subsequent articles are based.

Contains dozens of real-life stories of sexual abuse by Pastors, Ministers, Bishops, and church members, along with astute observations about the games being run on Black women. Too many black churches are run like cults with the omnipotent leader in charge. Billions of dollars are taken in by churches in the U.S. every year – do you know how your Black church dollars are spent? Are the messages you’re hearing in church from the lips of your pastor really the truth or are they merely words spoken to control you and your wallet? These cold, hard questions and the surprising answers will be revealed when you read this book!

The Black Church: Where Black Women Pray and Men Prey!

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Category: Society and Culture, The Black Church

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  1. PatFinley says:

    Another misconception is how men (black men in particular) stick to the double standard, then look back to the old testament in the Bible to justify their behaviour.  Men had many wives, and it seems common to hear uneducated men accept that as normal (because it was done then.) Well, that never made it ok.  Christ came to set people straight, after the old testament.  The word ‘testament’ means ‘convanent’ and is God’s covenant to the people.  He said that marriage was to be between One man and One woman.  Men do not have a free pass to act bad any more than women do.  It is general behavior for inferior men to make women feel inferior to them.  It’s all part of the control, the way they ignore women, dismiss their feelings, what they say, and always trying to “ONE-UP” women.  Some females aren’t even aware of what is happening.  This is true of all races of men who are not spiritually enlightened, educated, or aware.  I see and hear it continuously since I’ve always worked mainly in blue collar jobs.   Women should not enable this attitude ( I don’t ) and to do so only confirms their bad behaviour to continue.  Women are putting up with all kinds of shit from men.  I noticed black men are really not being men at all, but blowing alot of hot air. Then they lie to numerous females, use them for money, sex, and whatever, then act as if they are proud to have all these women.  Well, WHOOPTDOO, you are a professional liar.  How special, and how proud yo mama must be. 

    • Deborrah says:

       @PatFinley Pat, are you going to read the book? Because you are on the promotional page for a book that wasn’t even released yet and you sound like you are delivering a sermon instead of talking about the book. This thread is NOT ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS or RELIGION – it is about MY BOOK. Before you post anything else you need to order and read the book so you can come and we can have an intelligent discussion on the matter.

  2. Deborrah says:

    There are several key points that some of the posters here are missing about this book

    #1 It does not argue if the bible and religion is true or not. It merely argues that if one IS A BELIEVER then one should know their own rule book from one’s own reading of it, and should not be relying on the words of some third party to interpret it for you.
    #2 It does not argue that the church is Christ. It merely argues that the church as it is represented for the purposes of this book is not above investigation, reproach or criticism.
    #3 It does not argue that people may find solace in their beliefs. Some people believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too. If that makes them happy, that’s fine with me. I am merely saying that if your belief system is putting you in harms way, setting you up to be used, and is being used as a tool to wage war on your emotional and financial security, you probably want to pay attention to that and do something about it. 
    Though the book contains references to biblical scriptures, I am very clear that the scriptures do not represent my personal belief system. They are evidentiary in nature, to clarify for female readers how the words of the bible as written vs. the words as TOLD TO THEM IN MANY BLACK CHURCHES are so very different.

  3. MsMyers says:

    @Razzy: This attack is not personal; it is against satan and satanic beliefs. U just happen to have a satanic belief…

  4. Razzy says:

    “Bible thumping black women blindly following their religion and what they are told by their ministers keep the black church and everything that is wrong with it alive and flourishing”.~Razzy
    “Bible thumping black women are easy prey for men who run mind games on them and take advantage of their ‘group think’ and commonly held religious beliefs.  This is how Mega Churches, and Mega ministers have grown so powerful and popular.  Mindless drone like black women supporting ‘group think’ to their detriment.

  5. iBuyMyOwnShit says:

    @Mattie96 LOL “refreshments”

  6. Mattie96 says:

    @iBuyMyOwnShit I prefer the “black bars”, the refreshments are better!

  7. Luvologist says:

    @MsHeartBeat Your book looks very interesting.

  8. ajewel30 says:

    You know the sounds all good when there’s hooping and hollering going on.  But most Christian don’t even know that the bible was copied from the ancient eygptian’s Book of The Dead.  So now what?  Protect your children and yourself. What good has any black church  done for there community?   Your city got a hood, my city got one, and the church ain’t  done anything for the same neighbor their located in.  Let’s keep it real. Build up our sons and daughters and communities because those pastors are self-centered and are not doing it.

  9. ajewel30 says:

    I grew up in the church and after I got grown left it then return during some soul searching time.  I agree with what you’re saying about everything from the child molesting to keeping black women single coming in there with their money.  I’ve seen it.  A church member had me suspicious taking my  son to dinner at his house after church.  I didn’t see then but it hit me that maybe this handsome brother was an undercover bi-sexual.  What the fuck he wants to be an older male friend of my son for?  I saw how he followed my son with his eyes.  Then, I knew I was right about him.  Black women have to be real and see those mutherfuckers for who they are and not for what they fantasy is.Those pastors and others are preying on them and their kids.  They must demand that they be in charge upfront or don’t go at all. I don’t go at all because I know it’s all a story and God hears me, provides for me and my kids, and I don’t need a pastor to pray for me to be blessed. Ladies, make a change . God loves us all and does’nt want to see us in the back being submissive to anyone because it does not benefit us.  We women have a lot to offer. We are the ones that build our familes up, not men. 

  10. Joyce345 says:

    I go to church. I just don’t go to a black church.

  11. PatFinley says:

    By the way, the Bible is God’s word to us, the people, intended for life wisdom for everyone.  Either you believe in God or you don’t.  There is no religion in the Bible, only stories, testimonies, and gospels for our learning.  Religions are just take-offs from there, because people cannot agree on anything, so they started their own religions.  You can worship Satan and call it a religion since it’s something you believe in, but most would call it a cult.

    • Razzy says:

       @PatFinley Y”ou can worship Satan and call it a religion since it’s something you believe in, but most would call it a cult.”
      The same can be said when you worship God. 

    • Deborrah says:

       @PatFinley In the book I set out the similarities in the christian religion of the black church and cults. Dead on. If it walks like a cult, and quacks like a cult, it is a cult. Therefore it is easy to conclude that most nondenominational black churches are cults.

  12. Judahhood says:

    @MsHeartBeat God loves you sista. please believe him. shalom..

    • MsHeartBeat says:

      @Judahhood My book has nothing to do with criticizing God and everything to do with scallywag preachers that lie, cheat, molest and steal.

  13. PatFinley says:

    The Bible teaches us to discern.  You will know people by their fruits.  That means what they have done in the past.  Is God’s word their God, or is money their God?  It is up to each of us to set our boundaries and learn to discern.  Perverts are everywhere; it is up to us to expose them.  They do not belong in any position of authority or teaching. Don’t believe the words of men; find out for yourself.  Patience is the tool that exposes self seeking liars for what they really are.  And the days of judgement are coming.

    • MsMyers says:

       @PatFinley :  Discernment is a thought process, not an action.  I use discermenment in all settings, including church.  And yes, God’s Word is our guide, not the preacher, teacher or whomever.  People in all facets are in positions of power with faults of their own, known and unknown, but they are not removed from their jobs unless they are proven to be unfit for it.  God places pastors over a church just like he appoints all government leaders into their positions, good and not so good, and the bible states that as well. But like you stated, all people in their positions aren’t just, and in time, they will be found out and judged.  But until then, we still go to church, praise God and pray for all involved.  Always remember, we are not the judges of men we are called just to love all people.  God will judge the unrighteous and when He is ready to expose someone – including preachers – for their dastardly deeds, He will.  When premature judgment happens outside of God’s will (and that is also explained in the bible how to confront someone in the clergy or otherwise) it causes unrest and a ripping apart of that church that would otherwise not have happened had they allowed God to work things out like He does to perfection after we mess things up.  People do need to know Him for themselves, but we do need guides, even if that guide is imperfect. “…All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23.  God bless!

      • Razzy says:

         @MsMyers  @PatFinley What you say only matters for people who believe in god and religion…not everyone does and that is their right.  this planet has over 7 billion people in it. Not everyone has christian beliefs.  People who are religion need to accept that and stop giving their religious advice as if everyone thinks just like they do.

        • MsMyers says:

          @ Razzy      U sound very angry. R u okay today Razzy? Has life got u down? Does speaking Jesus’ name get u all choked up? Well, I am not sorry. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! I will forever defend the name of the Lord because He is the only true and wise God I will serve! Not man, woman, money, job, house car, “the american dream”, Harry Krishna, Buddha, Mohammed, youm Deborrah, Pharoah, L. Ron Hubbard, Satan, etc, etc, etc. But I still want for that God you don’t believe in to bless you!

    • Razzy says:

       @PatFinley “The Bible teaches us to discern
      Bible =
      Brainwashed fairy tales
      Lost people
      Women would do well to put down that book and pick up some common sense.  Women don’t need that book to teach them how to be discerning.  Women already have this ability. If anything religion influences women to use their power of discernment in ways that are against women and uplift men.

      • MsMyers says:

        God bless you!

        • Razzy says:

           @MsMyers Meaningless drivel.  I don’t know why christians feel the need to force their beliefs and unasked for ‘blessings on others.

        • MsMyers says:

          @Razzy:  Get your life, Razzy! I really wonder what your personal life is like? I wonder if u go around barking and fighting with everyone u meet…life can be much better and brighter than that if u can meet someone where common thoughts exist.  None of this is resonating with u? There is not a tiny tinge of, “well maybe I should just open my mind and see if some of this stuff they r saying is true…”? Go bless your soul!

        • Razzy says:

           @MsMyers Get your life Ms Myers!  I really don’t give a damn what your personal life is like.  You go around barking and Bible thumping with everyone you meet.  LIfe can be smuch better and brighter than that if you stop trying to convince the world to bible thump right along side you. If you accept that people have a right to ‘not believe’.  None of this resonates with you, because you lack the ability to think individually and you are totally brainwashed by religion.  So in your mind, anyone who does not believe in religion or the bible or any of that, something must be wrong with them.  Perhaps you should ask yourself what is wrong with you, to believe in fairy tales with no proof.  You try so hard to convince others to be like you, you are pitiful.  If your life was so great with god, bible, religion and all of that bible thumping, then you should have everything you could imagine in this world. and be far too busy to waste your time with the nonbelievers. 
          As I said before, rinse cycle and repeat
          Brainwashed fairy tales
          Lost people

      • PatFinley says:

         @Razzy And just where do you think common sense comes from?  If you want to learn about common sense, read the book of PROVERBS.  Then you tell me if you think it is sensable in making fun of the Bible.

        • Razzy says:

           @PatFinley I don’t need to read the bible to have common sense, what you don’t realize is that proverbs is not from christian beliefs.  You find ‘proverbs’ from all corners of the world, from Asia, to the Middle East, to Africa.  The best known lessons in life actually come from Aesop Fables which predates Christianity.  That’s the problem with christians, you all believe that bible like it is the only book in the world and the main one.  None of you are familiar with other cultures.  Anyone who needs a book to give them ‘common sense’ is a dummy. 

  14. divalocity says:

    @MsHeartBeat I’ve got to buy your latest book because it seems like it wil be quite interesting and an eye opener. Kudos!

  15. MsMyers says:

    Sorry, I don’t agree that being in church doesn’t change you and/or make you better.  I do understand and others should too, that people in church are not better people, they are a people who admits they need help and are getting that help by being where Christ is being preached as their help. The pastor, ministers, deacons, male ushers could be looked to as helpers, but they have problems, too; that’s why they are there.  I am simply defending the church because it has done nothing but help me.  In times when the world beat me up to a pulp, the church took me in, nurtured me and built me back up to be able to face the world again with renewed vigor and weapons thast only God can give and the church brings.  Yes, the church has many flaws.  But we admit that we are just regular people trying to get it right by practicing doing good deeds, giving to worthy causes, and reading the word at least in church if not any other day of the week.  Church is still needed and useful.  Without it, we would go into ruin as a nation! God bless!

    • Deborrah says:

       @MsMyers You contradict yourself. What you are basically saying is that the church is full of people with problems trying to help each other. The sick cannot heal the sick Ms. Myers. I am confused about your logic. When someone has major problems themselves, they are ill equipped to help anyone – they need to focus on helping themselves. It’s like a thief trying to help another thief stop stealing… a crackhead trying to help another crackhead stop using. It’s an impossible feat. What you received from the church you found helpful, but you could have received the same benefits faster by paying your insurance co-payment and seeing a therapist for an hour or two a week. If you did group therapy, you would have had a room full of people that could have helped you under the guidance of a qualified professional for half the price. If you had good supportive friends they could have also served that role in your life. What people need is a support system – someone to believe in them and to listen to them. That quality is not limited to church houses, and from what I see is rarely available there.Just like we don’t go to surgeons with poor track records that botch surgeries and hurt people, I see black women pouring themselves and their assets into churches that botch souls and hurt people. You seek therapy from someone unqualified to provide it. Pastors deacons and ushers and church members have no skills or training in mental health! They are as messed up if not more than you are! But instead of removing themselves from the situation and getting the help they need from qualified sources, Black women insist on an invisible sky god’s omnipotent power to change their lives, and that a building full of confused, sick people is the right place to find healing.Seems like logic and reason would kick in at some point, but unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be happening on a large scale.

      • MsMyers says:

         @Deborrah  and @PatFinley :  Our God is not the man standing in front of the pulpit; it is The One who created you and He oversees the good and bad.  They are not separated in the church.  The wheat and the tares all grow together but when the separating happens, all will see.  But of course when God reveals to us that a man/woman or whomever in charge or a place of authority is not worthy of that position, there is a proper way of sitting him/her down and The Church does that.  It is a process.  Even though you are tenured in what you do, you are still not faultless and are guilty of some hidden thing that no one knows, or so you think.  Sometimes people are just gathering up information to make sure when they fire you, it sticks. Point being, no one can say what training, schooling, background a person has in one of our spiritual positions in church.  Believe it or not, in today’s Christian churches, they look at your profession in the world and most times it’s how they choose what you are going to do in the church.  Those professions come with people with degrees in their specialty/gift.  Check it out.  We are getting it right.  That is why we are there.  I am glad you are not my judge, jury or prosecutor!
        Nice points if u believe in science only and not unseen things.  I could see why people would take a stance on only tangible things because they can be proven.  But let’s look at it this way…if Christianity is true, which I totally believe, when you die in your unbelief, your spirit man that you have inside of you will have to rest forever in the place of unbelief, away from The One who you didn’t believe in.  There is no point in trying to convence a nonbeliever to believe, but I will pray for God to show Himself to each of you so that when you do, you will have no choice but to state that it is so.  Hopefully, He will help your unbelief. 
        Now in order for you to continue to make money with the books that you sell to discredit the truth, you would have to continue in those lies.  You would have to discredit healing, faith, and all of the testimonies of real people with real experiences from that Unseen Force that you basically claim doesn’t exsist.  You have begun to discredit preachers and then the church.  How far will you go? Now, you will have to attempt to discredit every other thing that Christianity is based on and you along with other faiths such as Muslims, atheists, Judaism, and all others apologists haven’t been able to disprove as of yet.
        The bible does not have to be proven; it proves itself.  I don’t feel bad about any of the things that you have said about men (mankind) because there is some truth to it .  There are bad people and good people in church.  But your books and these blogs aim to show only the problem and that side of the church.  What do you think the world would be without it?  Don’t answer!  I already know.  A whole bunch of self-righteous, self-centered, self-serving people who are pompous, shrewd and bigots, which are the very things that cause people to believe they did it all by themselves.  They are the very people who think they created mankind or it just happened somehow. 
        What started out as awareness for people who have been wronged by someone in the church, namely a minister or preacher or even pastor,  has turned into an all out attack on the validity of the Christianity itself.  Was that the original hidden agenda? 
        I believe that you or someone you know have personally been hurt by someone in the clergy and the attack has turned general.  
        SITUATION:  You are driving down the street in your new white Chevy Tahoe.  Before you purchased yours, you never really noticed many on the road.  Now everywhere you turn, there is your white Chevy Tahoe.  Did all of a sudden after you purchased yours everyone go out to buy one? No, they were always there but YOUR focus is on them because YOU have one. 
        HYPOTHESIS:  I believe your focus is on the negativity or problems with the church and now you see the church half empty instead of half full.  Change your outlook or view and then just maybe you can see the good that is produced in and benefitted by all who believe!  May The God who you don’t believe in bless you and keep you safe.  In Jesus’ name,
        A concerned sister who cares about your soul…

        • Deborrah says:

          Since you have not seen even a word from the book, your judgments are premature and your words a waste of time. You have no FACTS, so you are only going by what you IMAGINE the book to address and say.

          Secondly, everything in this book is backed up by FACTS. Statements of people sharing what happened to them. which you cannot deny because you would be denying their reality.

          Third, your truth is yours, and mine is mine. I will continue to write from my perspective and tell my truth, and you can certainly tell yours. But you have no right to come on MY website and try to discredit what I do in my house. That is the epitome of rudeness and impropriety, and certainly not spiritually respectful behavior showing tolerance for other’s belief systems. That is what bugs me about Christians, you all think your way of viewing things is the right way and the only way and you assault people that think differently. I think it best that you keep your message of church at YOUR house where it is appreciated. In the future I will delete your messages that are in any way like what you posted here.

          Lastly, there is no need for you to care about my soul. It’s just fine thank you. If there is a heaven, I’ll be there before you.

      • PatFinley says:

        Yes, people are imperfect, every one of them. Church provides a place for believers to unite and connect with each other.  Most Christ-based churches have smaller groups (Bible studies with topics of interest so they can branch off into smaller groups.) It is considered a safe place away from drugs, etc.  If people are ‘preying’ they should and will be obvious to those authentic believers and won’t last.  Many churches now have Celebrate Recovery (CR) and other focuses for groups to meet and connect with each other.  There is a discussion leader, who keeps the discussion fair, confidential, and focussed. Personally I do not attend church, and do not care to sit through a half hour of music. But I will attend small groups now and then, and I listen to Christian radio ( and TV.  New Life is broadcasted weekdays at 1 pm, on KFAX San Francisco, 1100 a.m. I give regularly to them, and have learned alot, thanks to all of their shows.  New Life sends Life Recovery Bibles to new members.  I do not work for them, just believe in what they do.

        • Razzy says:

           @PatFinley People don’t need to go to church to unite and connect with each other.  They can do that at any gathering or even start their own social club or organization to unite and connect with each other. They can go to one another’s houses.  and do that.
          Whenever I visit friends, hang out with friends, I am connecting and uniting with others.

        • PatFinley says:

           @Razzy Yes but Christians attend church or Bible study or fellowship to meet and unite with others with the same beliefs of God as their center.  The problem with secular (non believer) meetings is that they don’t understand this concept.  They don’t get it nor do they want to.  So who are their gods?  Football, drugs, sex?  They don’t see how drugs, and generally wrong thinking about sex, and idolizing people like football players, can take you down a path to hell, ruining your life.  It’s all the worldly stuff to make money off people.  All those players with all their money thought they were god, but it only brings them to ruin.  Christians have learned that believing the lies of the world are the things that ruin your life.  To put things of the world into perspective and to put God first is to see miracles unfold.  No it doesn’t make sense, but God is able to open and close doors in this world that no one can explain.  (( see Revelation 3:8 )) And yes Proverbs was written by King Solomon, in the old testament, before Christ was on earth to give us the gospels.  These things are EXACTLY what the Bible has been talking about all along, but people just want to argue with it, because they need to justify their own lives, so they can continue to do whatever they please, without having to think much.  Just remember all the times you are doing something wrong, you are disconnected, from yourself.  Living in a fantasy world, doing things you think are making others like you more, but they have the oppositve effect, create social and financial disaster.  It is the lies of the world that will bring you down, my friend, not the truth from God.   Learn to put God first and you will be respected.  God can open the heavens once you trust He can.

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