Female Submission + Patriarchy = Stupidity

| 05/26/2012 | Comments (31)

Interesting discussions on the whole female submission, feminism and religion thing going on over on Facebook. I thought I’d bring it over here to get comments from the men and women that visit the site who (a) believe strongly in female submission; and (b) adhere to traditional gender roles in relationships and marriage.

Everyone knows I am no fan of submission, male domination in any form, religion as a whole, and certainly not into iron clad traditional gender “roles” within male/female romantic partnerships. So it is with much interest I read the posts on what I call “the fantasy perfect relationship based on female submission” that is perpetuated by both single black men and single black women all over the web.

Let’s start with what the woman posted.  Both men and women were reposting her blurb as their status, and clicking the LIKE button:

“To the women out there, being submissive is not a flaw of insecurity or a sign of weakness. It is rather an impeccable act of pride and strength. When you’re bound by the love of a King, submission should come natural. Your King is suppose to guide and protect you. He can not do this if you are walking ahead or beside him trying to share his title as man and paramount because you have become so engulfed in Black feminism with that, “I am a strong Black woman who does not need a man” attitude. I need a man and when I find my King, I will submit to him. I do not want his duties as man, husband, father, protector, and provider. I have my own to fulfill. My love and submission is a gift that is not given lightly and only to the man that can appreciate that.”

Hmmm. I think she is HELLA stupid and definitely living a fantasy. I also think that women that have the mindset that they must be submissive to men ultimately end up being mistreated because men take their submission for weakness. I’ve seen it too many times to count. So I see nothing good coming from female submission, but that’s just me. I believe that we as women cannot submit to men. Period. I don’t care who they think they are. There is no black man that is a king. No white ones either. Men are just men. They are no kind of royalty. They are not special or unique. They fart and piss and throw up and lie and procrastinate and do dumb shit just like everyone else. 

I never liked that follow the leader game, even as a child and am definitely not following anyone anywhere at this late stage of life. Why do black women not seek true partnerships with men? Is it fear? Why be afraid of being treated as an equal instead of as used gum under a man’s shoe? In a true partnership whoever is best at that THING in that SUBJECT or who has that TALENT OR SKILL takes the lead in that matter. But just because he has a dick? No. And just because he submits to some imaginary sky daddy? No on that as well. I would rather he not mention the G word because then I have to really think he was dumb. But that’s just me.

This woman is living in La La Land! She is one of those young idealistic women that has never been married or that even knows someone that has been married. She has no clue about the struggle and compromise, the responsibility and exhaustion of being a wife, the arguing and the hate that comes with marriage. LOL! People work through it, but the reality is that you better be prepared to experience a lot of negative emotions right along with the great ones of love, passion and pride.She fantasizes that marriage is the perfect state of blissful happiness where everything is as it was when she was 7 years old, reading fairy tales where the prince saves the princess and they lived happily ever ever.  She will get her face cracked soon enough.  Now, on to what this black male posted on an online dating site. What follows is a direct quote from his profile:.

“I am success oriented. Very strong willed. I have a Dominant personality.I am a traditional man. I was raised to believe that success, like anything worthwhile, has a price. You have to pay the price to win and you have to pay the price to get to the point where success is possible. But most important, you have to pay the price to stay there.Do not ask for honesty if you do not intend to be honest yourself. That will make me raise questions about your motives. In life we attract not whom we want, but instead we attract who we are. You never get what you want out of life, you get out of life what you deserve. Remember everything that is old is made new again. Everything is recycled. The very same rain that fell on you also fell on Jesus Christ . . Opera, symphony and candlelight dinning are some of my favorite things I enjoy . If I tell you my own meaning of a submissive female is then you will claim to be that. But I know what I am not looking for . . .

I seek an educated, Christian, conservative, submissive, African American female for a relationship building towards marriage only. Must share very traditional values toward relationships and faith. Baptist,Catholic,Pentecostal or Methodist only. I feel that only faith based relationships can withstand the trials that life brings and the test of time. If regular church attendance is not your cup of tea, then I am probably not for you . . If you are not truly submissive, then we are not a match . . I also firmly value PRENUPTIAL legal agreements for protection of hard earned assets . .I work 64 to 72 hours weekly. It takes an exceptional effort to earn exceptional security. A PRENUP is mandatory.

You must be a God fearing, submissive woman who prays on a regular basis. Regular church attendance is a must.

Non denominational churches do not count. I am a Cardiac Critical Care RN. I also work as an ER Nurse. But I can make time for the right lady. I do not have a picture posted. But if we have a conversation that is more than ten words in a sentence then I will share one with you. If you have a problem with that then there are over 13,675+ men on this site, so please keep it moving. I’ve been an RN x 19 years. I am only interested in A class females. No B,C,D or E class females please. And no high mileage females either please.

If you are tired of men that are unemployed or underemployed,dead end,non professional men that don’t have a future and are really are not even thinking about a future, if you are interested in a future of abundance, the finer things in life, well I will be waiting . . The price of success is less than the price of failure. A man with integrity has nothing to fear because he has nothing to hide. GOD created you to be a help mate. But you cannot help a man if he cannot help himself . . If a man does not seek humility, then humility will seek him . .”

Now has anyone else caught the contradiction here? He wants a woman to be 100% straight from the Bible with how she treats HIM, but he wants to go 100% modern with a pre-nup and all that so that he isn’t providing for his traditional submissive wife as a Christian man is supposed to. If she is with him and later he decides for whatever reason that she doesn’t do it for him, why is she supposed to be booted out of the marriage with nothing?  The selfishness and focus on himself and what he GETS vs. what he GIVES is so evident it’s frightening. 

Yet, dozens of women think this is a great guy. They don’t see, just like they didn’t see in Steve Harvey’s book, that they are being set up to be helpers to his greatness while getting no recognition or time to be great themselves. Women that sign onto these types of relationships think they have found love, but in reality they have found nothing but servitude. In the end they are nothing but servants to their “husbands” (aka Overseers) working as his free slaves, free pussy, free child care attendants, free housekeepers, free event planners and free cooks… used up then kicked out when the excitement of having a human being to control like a toy is gone with nothing – since you signed a prenuptial agreement.

Anyway, those are my thoughts – what are yours?

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Comments (31)

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  1. AndreaLThorsen says:

    Have you seen this video?
    It is called ‘Where Women Rule – Kenya ‘. It’s a wonderful video. A friend sent me the link this morning, and it reminded me of your article. This video proves beyond mere words that patriarchy really is stupid.
    The women have proven themselves more capable, cooperative and enterprising than the men, so the men attempt to sabotage them, and fail even at that. Lol.
    Some of the men even visit the women’s village periodically to physically attack a woman, because they are angry that the women are thriving and content, and they want them to be miserable and abused, because “we don’t like the women”. smh.

  2. Doogan says:

    It comes down to what a woman wants and what she chooses. If she doesn’t want to submit to a man, then she shouldn’t choose to get involved with a dominant man.
    And yet the dominant male/submissive female model persists. And it’s not going away any time soon, for a couple of reasons.
    First, most women are much more attracted to dominant men, regardless of how those women feel about submission.
    Second, lack of dominance is seen as a failing in men. An article on this site sums it up quite well: “Alpha males get the best, losers get the rest.” There is no legitimate form of masculinity that excludes dominance as a major component. If you’re not an alpha then you’re a loser.
    You might be able convince some women that they should pass up some of the men they find most sexually attractive. After all, that’s not the only thing to base a relationship on. But you’re going to have a hell of a time convincing men to adopt an attitude that not only makes them less attractive to most women, it makes them losers.
    My own personality puts me solidly on the loser end of the alpha-loser spectrum. The process of coming to peace with that has been very enlightening. I came to realize that the patriarchy is like a hydra. You can’t kill it unless you cut off all of its heads. And you’ll never win the battle if you hack away at one head while you’re feeding another.

    • Razzy says:

      First, most women are much more attracted to dominant men, regardless of how those women feel about submission.”
      WRONG! See this is why women should NOT listen to men.  Most of the time they don’t know what the heck they are taking about.  Women are no more attracted to dominant men than men are attacted to dominant women.  What women want are men who know how to be partners in a relationship.  Not someone who has a I am the Boss of you, and you must do whatever I say because I am a man mentality.  That will get you put on nignore fast.
      Second, lack of dominance is seen as a failing in men.” An article on this stie sums it up quite well:  “Alpha males get the best, losers get the rest’.
      You need to get a clue as to what women find attractive.  A lot of men use ‘dominance interchangeably with ‘confidence’ The two, while related are really two entirely different traits.  What women want is a confident male.  A man that is confident within himself has no need to be controlling and boss over women.  It is those men who are insecure within themselves who feel the need to boss over women, dictate and control them and this is not ‘confidence, this is controlling weak behavior. 
      Learn the difference.  In fact this is the first thing  that is listed in the article you mentioned. Confidence!  Gregg Michaelson also goes on to talk about the packaging (which includes how you carry yourself and how you come across to women).  See nowhere in his article did he mention anything about a man dominating a woman or even a woman submitting to a man.  Perhaps a primer on reading comprehension skills might be timely
      “You’re going to have a hell of a time convincing men to adopt an attitude that not only makes them less attractive to most women it makes them losers”
      Again you are way wrong.  A man is a loser who feels he has to control and dominate over a woman.  You need to look up the word ‘dominate’  “Have a commanding influence on; exercise control over’
      There ain’t nothing attractive about a man who feels he has to control and subjugate women and expect them to be submissive to him.  Those are the ‘losers’ who have that mindset and have convinced themselves that women find it attractive.  Only male dominated low self esteem women want that, and even they get tired of it after a time.  Just as a man would get tired of dealing with a dominating controlling woman.  I don’t know why men have convinced themselves that to be domineering is ‘attractive.  They really need to get their head out of their religious influenced azzes and realize that this is not what women want.
      “My own personality puts me solidly on the loser end of the alpha-loser spectrum”
      Yes it does, based on your comments here with reflects your thoughts that women find domineering men attractive, (domineering (Assert one’s will over another in an arrogant way) and domineering is related to dominate) that would put you right smack dab in the middle of the ‘loser spectrum’.  Men who get it are those who know how to meet their women’s needs treat her as a partner with her own mind, value her thoughts and not feel the need to dominate or control her.

      • AndreaLThorsen says:

         @Razzy  @Doogan “Men who get it are those who know how to meet their women’s needs treat her as a partner with her own mind, value her thoughts and not feel the need to dominate or control her.”
        Co-sign 100%. You just described my husband of three days.

        • Razzy says:

           @AndreaLThorsen  @Doogan 
          “You just described my husband of three days.”
          Congratulations Andrea!  You sound like a newly wed!  May your husband continue to show you those positive traits throughout your marriage as the years pass.

        • AndreaLThorsen says:

           @Razzy  @Doogan Thank you!

      • Real1 says:

         @Razzy  @Doogan A lot of times the confident assertive male, is also dominant and controlling.   I think confidence and assertiveness overrules, knowing how to meet a woman’s needs, treating her as an equal partner, valuing her thoughts etc.  Most of the time you’re not going to get the perfect man who’s confident, assertive, successful, but still values a woman’s thoughts knows her needs, treats her as an equal partner.  Woman would much rather put up with a confident man who’s dominant and controlling than a more passive man who is the opposite, from what I’ve seen.  

        • topaz627 says:

           @Real1  no confident and dominate are not the same thing. Again you’re confusing the terms. Confidence doesn’t over-rule treating someone as an equal, you can respect someone and be confident at the same time. It’s not required to be a dick to be confident, that’s not real confidence but insecurity and ego. Women who are insecure will put up with that mess. No man is perfect, but to say you can’t both have someone with a healthy sense of self and treat you right is telling women to lower the bar and accept assholes.

        •  @topaz627  @Real1 “No man is perfect, but to say you can’t both have someone with a healthy sense of self and treat you right is telling women to lower the bar and accept assholes.”
          Yes. I think that is the point. I’ve noticed over the past 2 years that any time there is a discussion of relationships that involve BW, whether it’s Youtube or relationship blogs like this one, BM show up and say “lower your expectations / standards” or “what you want in a man is impossible”.
          Such men should realize that intelligent women ALWAYS consider the credibility and motives of those dispensing unsolicited advice and information, and treat it accordingly.

        • Razzy says:

           @Real1  @Doogan 
          “Women would much rather put up with a confident man who’s domant and controlling than a more passive man who is the opposite, from what I’ve seen”.
          Since you’re not a woman you can’t speak on what a woman wants.  However, just because a woman ‘puts up ‘with something doesn’t mean she likes, it or she is even happy.  Often the woman goes along to get along, until she’s had ENOUGH!!  No woman willingly chooses a domineering controlling man, and no woman finds that attractive, any more than a man would find a domineering controlling woman attractive.
          It is sad that men like you think that men can only be one way or the other with no in-between.  You are wrong.  A man can be confident and assertive, and decisive without being controlling and domineering. A man can respect his woman’s thoughts and opinions and include her in decision making and make her an equal partner in a relationship.  A marriage is a cooperative effort.  It’s not one person controlling the other. Men should not treat their women like little children and then turn around and demand sex from them. That’s disgusting and creepy.
          Men who make these statements like you did, just show that YOU, real1 don’t know how to have a happy relationship and be a partner without being controlling and domineering.  You don’t understand that concept, and sadly a lot of black men don’t.  so women ‘put up with it’ until she is worn down.  Then she up and leaves these controlling domineering men, and they are caught like a deer in the headlights because they don’t know what is going on.  If less women ‘put up with’ controlling domineering men, the divorce rate would be even higher than it is now.
          One of the main reasons for divorce is poor communication. A man domineering and controlling lacks communication skills to treat his partner with respect and to value her as an equal part in the relationship.

        • Razzy says:

           @AndreaLThorsen  @topaz627  @Real1 
          “intelligent women ALWAYS consider the credibility and motives of those dispensing unsolicited advice and information and treat it accordingly”
          Sadly Andrea, what I’ve noticed (based on the popularity of Steve Harvey’s book, and the plethora of male giving women advice on what they need to do to get and keep a man’, there seems to be a lot of unintelligent male dominated women who will follow what some man says, just because he’s a man. There are far fewer wise women out there who would have sense enough to raise the Bull shit flag on the tripe a lot of these males say when it comes to dating and relationships.

        •  @Razzy  @topaz627  @Real1 I’m not so sure. I, personally, do not know a single woman who bought Steve Harvey’s book. Granted, my circle of friends is mostly made up of women who are either married, engaged or in long-term “dating” relationships, but most of those who haven’t gotten the ring (whether they’re with someone or not) want to know how to get it. They are the demographic Steve Harvey is targeting, and they aren’t buying it. And by “it” I mean both the book and the agenda behind it.

        • Real1 says:

           @AndreaLThorsen I’m not trying to give any advice, or tell women to lower their standards.  I’m just explaining what I’ve seen and experienced.
          I know having confidence and being dominant are two different things. My point  is confident assertive men are much more likely to be dominant and controlling than more passive men. 
          From my experience just being confident isn’t enough, especially with black women.  You have to have an air of confidence, I hear some black women say they have to have a man with “swag.”  I don’t see women checking for men who want an equal partnership, value their partners thoughts and ideas etc.
          When it comes to women and their standards, I’ve noticed most women won’t waiver on things like confidence, height, looks, and salary, but will overlook character traits that they claim are just as important.  Women’s standards often aren’t consistent.  I’ve seen plenty of women overlook a lot, because a man is the right height, has the right amount of confidence, has the right job, the right look.

        •  @Real1 I’ve seen plenty of men “overlook a lot”, so what? People like what they like. I have been Black and female my entire life and I have never looked for “swag” in a boy or man. I have noticed that women who grew up without their fathers believe that false bravado a.k.a. “swag” is what it means to be a man. That is an issue that needs to be addressed when BM criticize what BW look for in men. Most of the BW I have known (outside of my family) grew up without their father.
          And when I say address, I don’t mean trying to make it a BW’s fault that a BM didn’t take responsibility for and raise his own flesh and blood.
          There are over 1 billion Black people on planet Earth. You are not going to see who every Black woman is “checking” for. I would not even worry about it. What someone I am not romantically involved with wants in a mate is irrelevant to me. A waste of your time. The only person we all control is ourselves. That is more than enough.
          By seeking the affections of women who are not “checking” (where the hell did that phrase come from anyway?) for you, you waste time that you could be spending on someone who is actually interested. I see this a lot, especially  with BM. It’s as if you are suspicious of the women who actually are interested in you, and you want to make them jump through hoops to prove they are “loyal” to you. Lol.
          Like I tell my friends: love those who love you!

        • Razzy says:

           @Real1 You do not know the meaning or difference between confidence and dominance nor do you know anything about swag.  Only a no confidence having man such as yourself would think confidence and dominance go hand in hand.  Usually loser dudes who women ‘look all over’ men like you are the ones who can’t differentiate between confidence and dominance. No wonder you get ‘looked over’ You can’t have the personality traits that women find attractive because you don’t even know what they mean nor do you know what they look like.

        • Razzy says:

           @AndreaLThorsen  @Real1 “It’s as if you are suspicious of the women who are actually interested in you”
          That’s because they have low self esteem and don’t like themselves very much.  So they are suspicious of any women who likes them when they don’t find anything all that likable about themselves.  Men like that are poisonous for women. They will drag her down right to their level with their personal angst.

    • zabeth says:

       @Doogan Women are attracted to confident, secure, strong men- this is not mutually exclusive with dominance. Moreover, the majority of men out there are beta males; therefore, the majority of men who will be or are married, are beta males. Some may have alpha tendencies but true alpha males are very rare. Many men like to call themselves alpha but few truly are.

  3. AndreaLewis says:

     @Real1  NEWSFLASH: EVERYONE in America, and abroad, knows what most Black men consider “Black love”. The secret’s been out for quite some time now. You don’t have to date a BM to know what you see right in front of you. You have stupid BM doing TV and magazine interviews and writing songs/raps about their expectations of Black female servitude, with no reciprocity, for the whole world to see. I have been asked many times over the years by non-Blacks of many ethnicities and nationalities why BM behave like entitled children toward BW.  And none of those people, male or female, had ever dated a BM.
    As far as there being WM who say they want submissive women, I never said there weren’t. There are men all over the planet who want a doormat. You’ve obviously never stepped outside of N. America if you believe that “submission is largely a Western concept.” LOL. Visit Japan, Nepal and Morocco. I have. Western women have it made, and most don’t realize it. Also, you failed to mention how many of these WM YOU KNOW who want submissive women are SUCCESSFUL? Since they, apparently, work alongside you, I’m guessing none of them.
    Being White and male doesn’t automatically make one successful. It certainly doesn’t make one confident. I’ve come across plenty of WM losers. Anyone can be a loser. It’s not genetic, like skin tone. It’s a choice. And I cannot speak to what the BW you associate with consider successful, but I would not glance in the direction of a man who fit the description “street hustler”. No rational Human being would consider THAT successful, or even acceptable. Trashy and low-rent, sure, but successful? Get real!
    Frankly, most (not all) of the young BW I know who choose to date BM do it more out of a sense of obligation to the “Black race” and/or pity for the “po BM” than out of true desire. I could never be with a man for such pathetic reasons. And I could never respect a man who would want me to be with him for such reasons.
    As Tyrese once said, in regards to not hiring BW for his music videos, “… I go with the best. I don’t do favors.”

  4. Real1 says:

    I never said I believe in female submission, or having complete control in a relationship.  The point I’m trying to make is that most women especially black women desire very confident, dominant and successful men, in the case of black women I don’t necessarily mean successful in the traditional sense.  In the eyes of some black women, a street hustler is successful.   Anyway, most of the time these type of men are going to be controlling.  If you want to be with a man who isn’t dominant and controlling, find a man who doesn’t have dominant and controlling characteristics.
     Andrea what is spending time with a successful confident white man going to do for me, or any other black man for that matter?  If anything female submission is largely a western concept, especially in a religious context.  There are plenty of white men who will straight up say that they want a submissive woman, I work with mostly white men, and have heard a lot of them say that or something to that extent.  For someone who hasn’t dated many black men you seem to know a lot about “Black Love.”  
    The BW who are with BM who they treat like a newborn child hand their check over,    perform degrading sex acts etc.. are with these men because that is who they chose.  They have a choice not all BM are the same or want the same things.   

  5. zipporah says:

    I dont believe it—I DONT BELIEVE IT— no wonder BW have it hard…they expect NOTHING OUT OF THESE BLACK MEN!!….they just cant have their cake and eat it tooo…..but they do.. BTW i heard your show on blogtalkradio.com didnt know you had a thread here.. cant believe how many BW are being PLAYED just because the guy has a B.A.— a PRENUP?! PLEASE!! the book says MEN TO LOVE YOUR WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN BODY!!—its in EPHSIANS

  6. Real1 says:

    Most women desire dominant, confident, successful men.  I’m expected to make first contact,take initiative and pay on dates, but all of the sudden when it comes to relationships and marriage everything’s supposed to be equal?  If women are so concerned about equal partnership why don’t they pursue submissive men?  I think some men take things overboard in wanting a completely submissive woman, however I don’t really think too many women would be attracted to the type of man who would want a completely equal relationship.

    • Auzci says:

       @Real1 If you look at the fact that submission is really a hypocrisy, you would not say such stupid things. I realize I am a lot smarter, earn more and do not believe in submitting to someone who thinks seven times slower than I do according to biology. Another thing is that why in all of the kingdoms women are seen as the Holy Grail yet when it comes to humans, the powers that be said it should change. I found out that people who want to be submitted to by nature are really weak. I am very equal to a man if not more so than a man. Hence, while all are saying that man is over woMAN, why am I of the same species then? I am successful and all of the men want me but I cannot be tamed by their stupid ideas that I am going to submit to some other Human (by the way, I am one). I am a man with a womb, hence the term WO–MAN. I am the upgraded version of the man and will not submit to my inferiors. 

    • AndreaLewis says:

      @Real1 I think BM would do themselves a REAL favor by spending some time with at least one successful, confident WM. I have never dated a WM or any other non-Black man, who ever used the word ‘submissive’ in a conversation. Keep in mind that 95% of all the men I have ever dated have been non-Black and my fiancee is White. Oddly, BM I didn’t  even know have brought up the subject of “submission” to me. It was a HUGE turn off. Also, from what I can tell, what BM consider a good relationship (with a BW, that is) is the BW doing every little thing for him as if he were her newborn son, providing all sorts of degrading sex acts, and working round the clock inside and outside the home, handing her paycheck over to him, so that he can pretend to his friends that he earned it. But the “man” does nothing at all to make her life easier or more peaceful, because she should just be grateful that she has found a “good”  BM. LOL.
      I have seen more than a few “Black love” couples like that. It is so dysfunctional! The woman is always stressed out and on edge, and he always seems oblivious as to why. I think you would have to be a few hundred miles beyond desperate to want a guy like that. However, most AA- BW have been successfully socialized / brainwashed to be desperate for a BM’s love, no matter how worthless he is, while AA- BM are socialized to be sociopaths — incapable of love. It’s a very sad situation.
      But I digress…
      It would be great if you, or some other BM, could explain what a BW who was “submissive” would get out of it from YOU, since you can only truly speak for yourself. But you’ll probably just say you’re offended by what I wrote and blah blah blah.

    • zipporah says:

      the BOOK SAYS —-SUBMIT ONE TO ANOTHER—- ther ‘is’ a place for it, but it doesnt give a right for men to LORD IT OVER HER like some other religions do like some forms of ISLAM—-some young  WM seem to be gettin this way too….my stepdaughters arent black at all and they are getting or have got CRUMBS…my daughter seen so much foolishness come out of nonbm that she wants a BM—-lol—-she could get one, BUT HE BETTER HAVE A DADDY & LOVES HIS MOMMA—–   &;^)

  7. Razzy says:

    That dude said, “I do not have a picture posted’  That’s code for he looks like the inside of somebody’s azz.   Not only does he have a stank azz attitude, he looks stank too.
    That woman sounds like she is just repeating some shit she heard from someone else.  Why don’t the two of them in this article get together and see how successful that relationship will be.

  8. birminghamhub says:

    You made some good points. As a Bible believing sister, I believe in submission because it’s God’s design – not mine. As a professing Christian, I must accept and understand that God’s ways are not my ways.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              However, there are tremendous disparities between the messages that men and women get regarding submission. Contrary to popular belief, submission is not just for women/wives, although that’s usually the way mankind approaches it. According to the Bible, submission is for men and women alike. Men and women are taught about wifely submission. However, more often than not, men and women are not taught about a man/husband’s duty to submit to God (James 4:7), government (Romans 13:1-7), church leadership (1Peter 5:5), and mutual submission ( Ephesians 5:21). Get the picture??? The Bible does not encourage men/husbands to have that “Nobody can tell me what to do because I’m a man attitude.” As leaders, husbands should be SUBMITTED TO CHRIST and lead their families by example rather than hypocrisy. Funny how a man’s submission to Christ rarely comes up in the conversation!                                                                                                                                                                                                               The other part of the disparity is that the church community is always telling women who they should be and what husbands will expect from them: virtuous woman. However, that conversation is one-sided. Many church attending women are rarely educated about the description and responsibilities that the Bible lays out for a Godly man. Many churches simply aren’t having that conversation.  I would like to ask my Bible believing sisters to ponder this question: How does the Bible describe a God-submitted man/husband? According to the Bible, what should his wife and kids expect from him?                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Unfortunately, the disparities between the messages that men and women get concerning submission fosters attitudes of discord and unfruitfulness, rather than the team work and ONENESS that God intends when his word is taught holistically. 

  9. AndreaLewis says:

    I agree with you 100%. Is it just me, or did his dating profile come off super creepy and suspicion inducing? What was the purpose of all that weird “success” and “winning” talk? It’s a dating profile, and the guy’s a nurse (not that I’m knocking that profession), but he talks about himself as if he’s Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Tony Robbins all rolled into one. And why all the God talk in a dating profile? It’s just so over the top. For sane people, simply stating that you are deeply religious and seek a mate who shares your values and beliefs would be enough. It’s obvious that he’s never met anyone willing to put up with his crap for very long, so he believes that being more specific will help him find the perfect doormat. A woman would have to be dumber than a box of bricks to bother with a creep like that.

  10. zabeth says:

    I think female submission in the home is important to so many BM because they lack control in so many other areas of their lives.  

  11. DanaStanley says:

    No pre-nups in the Bible, and the guy who wrote the dating profile above sounds like he may have something to hide, and needs a woman who doesn’t know anything and will not ask.
    Next, feminism does not have to do with rising above a man, stealing his thunder, disobeying the Bible, or any other non-sense.  Feminism is about having EQUAL opportunities and rights for women.

  12. This guy is in La-La land…And wants a prenup like he’s Daddy Warbucks or something!

  13. MaryAliceMiller says:

    Ain’t no pre-nups in the Bible.

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