Black Women Need to Help a Brotha and Date Single Black Men With Potential?

| 01/28/2012 | Comments (4)


Around the nation, Black females are instructed that to get a “good black man” they should date and marry Black men with potential. Black women are also instructed that it is their job as women to date and marry Black men that need their help, that they are to be a help meet, and that they need to lift Black men up and help them be better men.

The reality is that such statements are socializing Black females to accept less than they deserve in a boyfriend, in a husband, and in father. There is no guarantee that a man will ever realize his full potential, or even half of it. There is no guarantee that after exerting years of her time guiding, instructing and helping a man be a better man, that he won’t resent her for pushing him along. Instead of Black women reaching back or down to pull someone up, Black men need to get on the ball and lift themselves up to women’s level of achievement and success. A grown man with potential that he has not utilized is a waste of a woman’s time.

Black women must eliminate the belief that they are required to “work with a brotha” when said brotha is beneath her, lagging, lacking in certain vital areas of performance and qualifications.  The only demographic of women in the United States  told they should accept less than they deserve or desire in a mate are African American women.

We’ll be discussing this bit of triflingness on Sunday’s broadcast. Please join me and Kaptan Solo of  as we dissect the programming of Black women and the need for Black men to elevate their game and themselves.  The show begins  at 5:30 PST/8:30 EST. Call 347-327-9215 to share your thoughts and opinions.


Click here to go directly to the show page or to download the recorded podcast.

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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  1. Razzy says:

    Great article.  We all have ‘potential’ but a wise woman seeks men who are putting ‘potential’ into realization.  Most black men want a woman to help them ‘come up ‘ and as soon as they get where they are going, they dump the very woman who helped him to arrive. (Steve Harvey).  Black men who believe black women should ‘invest in his potential’ are weak punks and worthless.  Just like a black woman can get hers so can a black man.  Black men need to stop expecting black women to be both wife and mother to them. 

  2. jess1 says:

    @blackcaesar President Obama already was a law student at an Ivy league college. He was no Ray Ray who just got out a jail, or Pookey with 3 different baby mamas at Mc Donnalds. When bm are willing to settle when it comes to skin colour and euro features, bw will settle for bums.

  3. blackcaesar says:

    You know I wonder if Michelle Obama had met Barak Obama at her law firm where she was already working and acting as his mentor and turned down Barak because he was just another Summer law school intern and drove a car in which you could see the ground through the floor would they be happily married today. Women need to come on out of the 1950’s and just embrace their new roles as the main breadwinners in families. Women need to change with the times. Get over it!! You all are by in large not going to find men, particularly Black men, who necessarily earn more and are better educated and have more material wealth. I’ve always thought women should earn more, after all you all have custody of the kids most of the time, so you need more money. Besides, society is now constructed in such a way as to favor women over men, so earn on sistas!!

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