Guess What Ms. HeartBeat – I’m Dating a Stripper!
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
Basically, my girlfriend is a stripper. I met her while she was working at a strip club and she asked me out.
I wasn’t too sure what to make of the situation at first. I figured we would just go out once and it would be a “one night stand” type of affair. However there was a strong attraction between us as well as some serious chemistry. We have now been seeing each other for a month and things are going ok. Better than okay actually. She is a smart and beautiful woman and we have a lot in common but I’m concerned. 
Basically my question is concerning where and how we met. Do you think we can have a healthy and lengthy relationship? I really don’t have a problem with where she works if I don’t think about it too much. I mean if we started dating before she started stripping and she told me she wanted to be a stripper, I would totally be against it. But since it’s what she was doing when I met her, I accept it because I feel that I don’t have the right to change her or ask her to change.
She is fine with what she does, but she doesn’t want to do it forever. Do you see any problems here? Do you have any advice on how to make this work out the best?
Signed,
Being Cautious
Dear Being:
Nope, I see no problems here unless you two make them. Just keep the open and accepting mindset that you have and there shouldn’t be any problems. It’s actually refreshing to see a man that isn’t the type to run scared being all judgmental and condemning of her, which is what I usually see.
People are NOT THEIR WORK.
Admittedly, only a woman with a very free spirit would feel comfortable being a dancer (I could never do that, too modest), but is that so bad? If she is as intriguing and interesting to you as you claim, that is the basis for a very strong and lasting relationship. As long as she follows the club rules with regards to touching and not dating the customers, and you keep your jealousy in check you two should be able to have a very wonderful relationship for however long you want to be together. And I’m sure that with your help finding something else (maybe going back to school?), she would leave stripping behind for greener pastures and never look back.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Dating Advice
Man, your girl is never going to stop dancing and you’ll eventually break it off with her because of that. It’s easy money, and people become addicted to easy money. Despite all that “open mindedness” drivel that Deb wrote you about on your part, I think your a simp (someone idolizing mediocre pussy). You ought to google Tommy Sotomayor’s youtube video “Definition of a Simp” to get more clarification of what you are. Furthermore, what self-respecting woman or man would take his or her clothes off for money? You’ve more than likely got “damaged goods” in this stripper girlfriend of yours and headed for drama down the road. Stop being so thursty for the attention of any ole’ woman and raise your standards black man. If black men raised our standards then these black women wouldn’t be so wretched and undesirable in the first place.