She’s Hot, You’re Not – How To Get Her to Like You Anyway

| 12/04/2011 | Comments (0)

The most frequently asked question from single men is how they can get the attention of available women, and most particularly the one woman they find themselves crazy about. The one that has no idea of his feelings or romantic interest.

Certainly, there are superficial, materialistic women in the world that are more focused on a man’s wallet, profession and possessions than his heart and character. And these women tend to align themselves with what I’ll politely term “the highest bidder.” But do you really want to consider THOSE types of women as prospects for your heart? There are thousands of beautiful, intelligent young women that are looking for solid true love, commitment and a man’s bank balance, job title or industry connections are NOT their top priority. These are the women you should focus on.

So let’s get started by examining something that should be obvious…

Women Are Not Men and Have Different Needs

What this means in dating is that women, when looking for a partner, have different selection criteria than men do.

Men are very visual creatures and often feel that if a woman is physically attractive to him, that she is Ms. Right. Women typically look for a man that is honest, stable, confident, who makes her laugh, and who can engage her mind with conversation and her emotions by touching her heart. As long as a guy is not a turnoff, she is usually open to conversation with him. And this openness provides you with an opportunity to make all those things happen!

Negative Behaviors Should be Avoided or Eliminated

I’m sometimes horrified at the gaffs men make when attempting to develop a woman’s romantic interest. If you want a female to find you attractive and to consider you as a possible boyfriend, there are some things you absolutely positively must avoid:

  • Arrogance. Being a know it all, a stuffed shirt or expressing negative opinions about her attire, opinions, hair, friends, family, or hobbies/interests is a major no-no. If she thinks you disapprove of her in any way, why would she want to have you in her life? This does not mean you have to agree with every position she takes, but take care not to put HER down even as you express your controverting opinion.
  • Poor Hygiene. Brush your teeth, wash your hair, and clean underneath your nails. Keep your hands clean, and shower at least once per day. There is nothing more of a turnoff for women than smelling a man’s underarms or feet.
  • Inappropriate Conversation. Some men are just uncouth cads. Make sure you don’t fall into this category. Cat calling at females from your car while driving down the street – no. Making comments about her body or how horny you feel are insulting and rude. Talking about your ex repeatedly or asking overly personal questions about her past romances during early conversations are guaranteed ways to put her off and TURN her off.


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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder

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