The Twelve Types of Black Men

Here they are, the dirty dozen which breaks down the most prevalent types of black men a black woman is likely to run into in the singles world while looking for a husband.

 

1. MR. THUG LIFE

Advantages

1. Really good between the sheets
2. Fun and exciting
3. Makes you laugh
4. Has your back, will fight and protect you

Disadvantages

1. Usually drinks and smokes too much
2. Always got drama following him
3. Stays a thug forever
4. Dates may involve dodging bullets
5. In and out of jail

 

2. MR. NAW, I DON’T HAVE A GIRL

Advantages

1. Will take you out in the beginning
2. Will introduce you to all his friends
3. Compliments you all the time

Disadvantages

1. Has a girlfriend who he’s been back and forth with since the 2nd grade
2. Will not get rid of her
3. He tells you about her after you’ve fallen in love with him

 

3. MR. BIG BALLA

Advantages

1. Will give you money with no questions asked
2. Has a lot of flash and style
3. Will show you some of the nicer things in life

Disadvantages

1. Never returns your texts
2. Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
3. Loves to be around his boys more than you

 

4. MR. I’M IN THE INDUSTRY

Advantages

1. Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the jumpin’ parties
2. Can have a decent stimulating conversation
3. Tends to dress nice

Disadvantages

1. You don’t know if he is gay, straight or bi
2. Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
3. You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin parties, then there is drama at the door
4. All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn’t know any of them personally

 

5. MR. INTELLECTUAL

Advantages

1. Very well read and book smart
2. Cares about how you feel
3. Has a very good job

Disadvantages

1. Boring as hell but claims he is a “good black man”
2. Doesn’t know what the hell he is doing in bed
3. He is not at all street smart
4. Always asking you when can he see you again

 

6. MR. GHETTO NIGGA

Advantages

1. THE BOMB IN BED with more moves than a porn star
2. Makes you laugh
3. Got mad style and flava
4. Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
5. Says he want a real relationship

Disadvantages

1. He got 3 or more baby mommas
2. Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up all the food
3. Is in denial when you tell him about himself
4. Comes home at 3 AM and says he was out with his boys

 

7. MR. I’M A RIGHTEOUS BLACK MAN

Advantages

1. Will teach you about black history
2. Revolutionary
3. Inspiring and gives to you spiritually & emotionally
4. Wants a wife and family

Disadvantages

1. Breaks up with you for a white girl
2. No money… doesn’t have a job
3. Doesn’t own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage or a dashiki and oils
4. In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con motha *bleep*a

 

8. MR. TOO DAMN GOOD

Advantages

1. Will introduce you to his mother
2. Has a job and will take you out
3. Will give you money for your bills if you need it
4. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday

Disadvantages

1. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
2. Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
3. Wears fake Movado & Rolex watches when he goes to the club
4. Ignores you when the game is on because he takes sports too seriously (he didn’t make it professionally)
5. You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you…
6. With another man

 

9. MR. PLAYA PLAYA

Advantages

1. Will tell you the truth – that you are not the only one
2. SOMETIMES he is fairly decent in bed
3. He tells you that you’ve changed him and he’s ready to settle down
4. Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)

Disadvantages

1. He doesn’t acknowledge you in public, especially if there are other women around
2. Generally he is a punk (won’t stand up for anything)
3. He expects you to believe all his lies just because he told you the truth about other women
4. After you catch his lying self, he tells you that he told you that he was a playa in the beginning anyway

 

10. MR. I HAVE A JOB

Advantages

1.  Of course…. he has a job
2. Doesn’t have too many bad habits
3. Will take care of you when you’re sick
4. Tells you that he is in love with you

Disadvantages

1. You stay in the relationship two years or more and then find out he is a shiftless, lazy son-of-a-*bleep* who wants you
   to do all the wifely duties but won’t give you a ring
2. He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not “in love” with you
3. After he leaves you he gets married a month later
4. His job only pays minimum wage

 

11. MR. BEST FRIEND

Advantages

1. He is your best friend, you tell each other everything; you get along very, very well
2. He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
3. The ultimate gentleman
4. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor

Disadvantages

1. You end up hooking up with him only to find he ain’t about nothing either!
2. Now, you gotta find a new best friend because you broke up with him

 

12. MR. RIGHT

Advantages

1. He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
2. He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you there mentally and emotionally
3. He will love you even when you are not lovable
4. He has a career and not just a job
5. He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
6. He understands a relationship is built on a 200% quota – 100% him and 100% you
7. He doesn’t have a bunch of kids and baby mommas – he’s smarter than that
8. He is a true best friend and everything you ever wanted in a man
9. He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime you see he’s fine as hell!
10. He can dress – knows the difference between formal, semi-formal, professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just chilling let me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat
11.  He loves his mother and respects women

Disadvantages

1. You’ve never met him and if you did he already has a girl/ wife; OR
2. He really loves being around you and everything is perfect, but he just doesn’t want a relationship right now

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder