The Twelve Types of Black Men
Here they are, the dirty dozen which breaks down the most prevalent types of black men a black woman is likely to run into in the singles world while looking for a husband.
1. MR. THUG LIFE
- Really good between the sheets
- Fun and exciting
- Makes you laugh
- Has your back, will fight and protect you
Disadvantages
- Usually drinks and smokes too much
- Always got drama following him
- Stays a thug forever
- Dates may involve dodging bullets
- In and out of jail
2. MR. NAW, I DON’T HAVE A GIRL
Advantages
- Will take you out in the beginning
- Will introduce you to all his friends
- Compliments you all the time
Disadvantages
- Has a girlfriend who he’s been back and forth with since the 2nd grade
- Will not get rid of her
- He tells you about her after you’ve fallen in love with him
3. MR. BIG BALLA
Advantages
- Will give you money with no questions asked
- Has a lot of flash and style
- Will show you some of the nicer things in life
Disadvantages
- Never returns your texts
- Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
- Loves to be around his boys more than you
4. MR. I’M IN THE INDUSTRY
Advantages
- Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the jumpin’ parties
- Can have a decent stimulating conversation
- Tends to dress nice
Disadvantages
- You don’t know if he is gay, straight or bi
- Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
- You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin parties, then there is drama at the door
- All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn’t know any of them personally
Advantages
- Very well read and book smart
- Cares about how you feel
- Has a very good job
Disadvantages
- Boring as hell but claims he is a “good black man”
- Doesn’t know what the hell he is doing in bed
- He is not at all street smart
- Always asking you when can he see you again
6. MR. GHETTO NIGGA
Advantages
- THE BOMB IN BED with more moves than a porn star
- Makes you laugh
- Got mad style and flava
- Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
- Says he want a real relationship
Disadvantages
- He got 3 or more baby mommas
- Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up all the food
- Is in denial when you tell him about himself
- Comes home at 3 AM and says he was out with his boys
7. MR. I’M A RIGHTEOUS BLACK MAN
- Will teach you about black history
- Revolutionary
- Inspiring and gives to you spiritually & emotionally
- Wants a wife and family
Disadvantages
- Breaks up with you for a white girl
- No money… doesn’t have a job
- Doesn’t own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage or a dashiki and oils
- In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con motha *bleep*a
8. MR. TOO DAMN GOOD
Advantages
- Will introduce you to his mother
- Has a job and will take you out
- Will give you money for your bills if you need it
- Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
Disadvantages
- Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
- Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
- Wears fake Movado & Rolex watches when he goes to the club
- Ignores you when the game is on because he takes sports too seriously (he didn’t make it professionally)
- You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you…
- With another man
9. MR. PLAYA PLAYA
Advantages
- Will tell you the truth – that you are not the only one
- SOMETIMES he is fairly decent in bed
- He tells you that you’ve changed him and he’s ready to settle down
- Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)
Disadvantages
- He doesn’t acknowledge you in public, especially if there are other women around
- Generally he is a punk (won’t stand up for anything)
- He expects you to believe all his lies just because he told you the truth about other women
- After you catch his lying self, he tells you that he told you that he was a playa in the beginning anyway
10. MR. I HAVE A JOB
Advantages
- Of course…. he has a job
- Doesn’t have too many bad habits
- Will take care of you when you’re sick
- Tells you that he is in love with you
Disadvantages
- You stay in the relationship two years or more and then find out he is a shiftless, lazy son-of-a-*bleep* who wants you
to do all the wifely duties but won’t give you a ring - He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not “in love” with you
- After he leaves you he gets married a month later
- His job only pays minimum wage
11. MR. BEST FRIEND
Advantages
- He is your best friend, you tell each other everything; you get along very, very well
- He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
- The ultimate gentleman
- Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor
Disadvantages
- You end up hooking up with him only to find he ain’t about nothing either!
- Now, you gotta find a new best friend because you broke up with him
12. MR. RIGHT
- He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
- He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you there mentally and emotionally
- He will love you even when you are not lovable
- He has a career and not just a job
- He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
- He understands a relationship is built on a 200% quota – 100% him and 100% you
- He doesn’t have a bunch of kids and baby mommas – he’s smarter than that
- He is a true best friend and everything you ever wanted in a man
- He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime you see he’s fine as hell!
- He can dress – knows the difference between formal, semi-formal, professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just chilling let me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat
- He loves his mother and respects women
Disadvantages
- You’ve never met him and if you did he already has a girl/ wife; OR
- He really loves being around you and everything is perfect, but he just doesn’t want a relationship right now
Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder