Men That Don’t Take Responsibility For a Pregnancy Are Punk Bitches!
It’s time to address an issue that has come up repeatedly – that of out of wedlock babies and who is to blame. It’s been on my mind for months while I heard arguments from both camps and listened to the excuses from both sides.
Though both parties were less than mature and responsible, it bothers me that Black men seem to feel that it is the woman’s responsibility to monitor her fertility and protect herself from pregnancy, not theirs. Furious at being forced to pay child support, men are pointing at the few men in in the country that were incorrectly named as the father of a child they didn’t actually father.
The blame for the fact that a child is born out of wedlock is placed, again, solely on the shoulders of the female involved. Black men seem to prefer to stand aside pointing the finger of blame at a woman who "made" him become a father rather than take responsibility for his role in the madness. Blame may also placed on the woman for "lying" about who the father of her child is.
These fools need a serious reality check.
First off, if a woman is screwing you, Thomas, DeAndre and "Pooky" from around the block, and you stick your penis in her bare, you can’t blame her for thinking it might be your child! It could be yours, just as well as it could be Thomas’ and Pooky’s kid. You don’t get a pass just cause you want one. After all, you were there homey and all UPPPPPPPP in that! So don’t get all irate thinking that you were so "falsely" accused of anything. You took a gamble. When you take a gamble you take chances and risk it all for whatever you think you are gonna get out of the deal. Sometimes you do win, but most of the time you lose.
So don’t you dare get upset when your paycheck gets tapped for 18 years of child support either. No one MADE you go to her house, pull off your clothes, kiss and hug on her and decide to have sex. That was YOUR CHOICE. No one MADE you go up in that bare, that was your choice. Screwing with no condom feels better you decided. No one MADE you orgasm in her and risk getting a fertile young woman pregnant either. Again, that was your choice.
So see, you made a lot of decisions and choices that brought you to the place you are right now – the horror movie starring you as Somebody’s Daddy.
Many women would prefer to not have a baby by some man they aren’t really with. But too often what you start guilt tripping her about getting an abortion and say things like: "Abortion is worse than murder. It’s butchery. "Thou shalt not kill" is still in the Bible. If women hate babies that much, they shouldn’t have sex. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the bedroom." So she is wrong if she has the baby, and wrong if she doesn’t?
What?
Perhaps we should turn that around and say to the fellas: "if you can’t stand child support and crazy ‘baby mommas’, you shouldn’t have sex. If you can’t take the responsibility of a child and monthly child support payments, stay out of the bedoom."
Puts a whole new spin on things, doesn’t it?
I’m tired of hearing grown men (and any man that has sex is grown), whining that they aren’t ready to be a father, that they got tricked, that it’s not his kid, that he shouldn’t have to pay child support for a kid he didn’t want. If you are having sex bare with a woman you know is fertile, you are ready to be a father whether you affirm it vocally or not. Actions speak louder than words! You are doing everything it takes to become a father, right? So what are you talking about you ain’t ready?
Any sex you have, you need to think about the woman you are having it with. Consider this important question: would you want this woman to be the mother of your child? If the answer is "hell no!" then get your ass up, and get on. It makes no sense for you to lay up with a woman you deem to be unworthy of raising or influencing future generations that carry your last name and look like you. Be a man and stop thinking with your dick.
And forget trying to blame women and make them responsible for your sperm. It’s yours. Grow the fuck up! You monitor where your sperm goes and in whose body it is delivered. It is not a woman’s responsibility to manage you, your behavior, your dick, or your sperm grown ass man, its yours. Just yours. And only yours.
Bottom line guys is this – you were there. That is why you weren’t "sure" if it was yours or not. If you hadn’t been all up in that, you would know for sure and have fought the label of "Daddy" with everything you had. But if there are doubts, when the child comes get a DNA test if you want to be sure. It’s very simple and can alleviate all doubts for a lifetime. Don’t sign anything or admit to anything until you have the DNA test results.
But once you know, get over it. Don’t be angry at anyone but yourself. Man up and take the heat that comes with parenting. You dug the financial hole of responsibility you are now in… you did that to yourself by not monitoring or controlling where you put your dick.
Tune into the Date Smarter, Not Harder Internet Radio Show for a discussion on male responsibility for birth control. Hear reasons for why so many young men feel they can screw around irresponsibly and with impunity. If you miss the live show, you can still listen to the podcast. Click the graphic below to be taken directly to the show page.
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great article. I wish this could be blasted out to every man who is out there. Women are bearing for too much blame for men’s behavior. Men will tell stories of women saving the condoms punching holds in the condoms going to get the condom out of the trash can. I’ve heard all sorts of stories men tell for how a woman will try to pin a baby on them even when they do use a condom. I don’t know how a man could sleep through a woman rolling a condom down from his organ. Besides, most men get up and flush the condom down the toilet. Those far fetched stories are too wild to be believed and sounds like something generated from Hollywood. In fact, I believe on Ugly Betty there was an episode where Vanessa William’s character did something like that, rescued sperm from a discarded condom so she could use it as leverage to take over her late ex lover’s company.
But in reality, this is few and far between. Most men get women pregnant because they didn’t ‘wrap’ it up and then they want to get mad because nowthey have to face the music. (the pitter patter of little feet music).
The spermicide in modern condoms kills sperm quickly… those stories about women rescuing sperm from a used condom are carryovers from the 1970s when most condoms were sheepskin and the latex condoms weren’t yet treated with Noxonyl-9. So you are correct, that is just an excuse.
And every man should know you get up while everything is still hard, and runnnnnnnn to the bathroom, flush the used condom, wash your hands and your dick with soap, then get back in bed. That is how a man that wants to make sure he doesn’t get anyone pregnant handles things.
i dont think any of you have said anything , the truth of the matter is accountability has not been accepted on either side . The reality of the matter is really to answer this one question that no one dares to ask , which is ,” Did you lay down to conceive or to just have relations??” not to say that accidents don’t happen but quit trying to vaidate the whole situation a something that makes you a woman look any better that the man , the truth is you couldn’t leave the child is inside of you it dosent mean you were responsible it means you were there. He wasn’t your husband not saying that what he may have done was right but unfortunately it is what it is..
Great article! I have been reading your stuff and I love it!! I also sent you a friend invite on youtube.
So there you have it — a man’s ‘responsiblity’ is to pay. It’s all about the money. Funny how he is supposed topay and she is untitled to his money, but the idea that maybe the guy would like to have the child for his own isn’t an option. Funny how we hear about “every child a wanted child” when the discussion is Women’s Rights, but it’s it’s all about the money when a man is the subject. It’s funny that a woman has Choice. She can have the child if she wants to be a Mommy, but if she “isn’t ready for a baby” she can abort the child the next morning or the anytime the next nine months, or she can let the child go for adoption. But the guy is supposed to be ‘responsible’ — and pay.
Choice for Men.
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Like I said in my recent article Why Women Should Stop Having Children, it’s NOT about the money. It’s about the responsibility involved in raising a child – the time, the energy AND the money it costs to feed, clothe and educate a child, put a roof over its head, and make sure it has proper medical care. Children are not free!
And your attitude “entitled to his money”… WTF? You weren’t thinking about all that when you were busy busting that nutt inside her now where you? And you want her to have the kid then raise it by herself? You are in your post bitching and complaining about WHICHEVER choice she makes, so your vote is therefore cancelled out and what you think matters not.
You think a woman that doesn’t want to be a mother is going to breed and give you a kid that you can use to try to have power over her? Ha! Get real.
So again, if you don’t want the responsibility of a child then keep that baby-maker in your pants and you won’t have that problem. You sound like the very knuckleheads I wrote the article about. Silly childish males passing themselves off as men
Bank Machine
(Of course you would be concerned with ‘money aspect look at your moniker’
“She can have the child if she wants to be a Mommy, but if she “isn’t ready for a baby” she can abort the child the next morning or the anytime the next nine months, or she can let the child go for adoption. But the guy is supposed to be ‘responsible’ — and pay.”
The guy could also make the initial choice to ‘wrap it up’ or not have sex with the woman since he is so scurred of child support as the article said. The onus on responsible sex lies with Both people involved. the onus on the man’s decision of where he deposits his sperm lies solely with him regardless of what that woman tells you.
You talk about what the woman could or couldn’t do, what about the man at the time they are getting busy? What can he do? What choices can he make? He can buy a blow up doll to get his rocks off, he can use his hand, he can wear a condom. He doesn’t have to have barebacked sex. So if ‘HE makes those initial choices, the rest of it, doesn’t matter because no baby would ever be conceived in the first place.
When a man makes a choice to have sex with a fertile woman he should always keep in mind that a pregnancy could occur. You have bareback sex with women, you run the risk of a pregnancy end of story. The man makes the choice not to wrap it up, then want to cry foul when a pregnancy occurs. So yeah if a woman decides to have the baby she is ‘entitled (not untitled) to get some money, babies cost money!! But if the man already knows he doesn’t want kids, then stop playing Russian roulette with his dyck and having bareback sex with a woman even if she does say she is on birth control. Don’t trust what you don’t know for sure.
If he is so worried about it, then why have bareback sex in the first place and then want to talk about what a woman could do if she ends up pregnant? What about what a man could do when he decides to have sex in the first place? Why guys never look at it from that angle?
@ boots, what the heck did you post? It’s not even coherent.
“i dont think any of you have said anything , the truth of the matter is accountability has not been accepted on either side . The reality of the matter is really to answer this one question that no one dares to ask , which is ,” Did you lay down to conceive or to just have relations??” not to say that accidents don’t happen but quit trying to vaidate the whole situation a something that makes you a woman look any better that the man , the truth is you couldn’t leave the child is inside of you it dosent mean you were responsible it means you were there. He wasn’t your husband not saying that what he may have done was right but unfortunately it is what it is..”
HOOKED on PHONICS, learn to write a cohesive coherent sentence before trying to make your bogus point. Dang I hope you ain’t somewhere making babies as ignorant as you come off sounding.
Choice for Men isn’t about blaming one or other party for the pregnancy. It’s also not about money. It’s about having equal outcomes for both parties to the pregnancy. That sounds like a fair goal.
With Choice for Men, the man gets to drop all connection with the child just like the woman does if she decides to abort. (The same choices are available for adoption of the new-born.) The only difference then in outcomes for the man and the woman is:
- she can still decide to have the child or not have the child even if he decides to “abort” (drop all connection), but
- he can not have the child if she decides to abort (because it’s “her body, her choice”).
This is a small difference compared to the old way where she gets Choice and he gets Responsibility (support payments).
Of course if both decide to keep the child they will have to decide how to share the child. That’s the normal situation.
With Choice For Men, he gets the Choice to be a parent or not to be a parent just like she does. This is the gender equal solution. Furthermore, Remember that that abortion is based on the principle “every child a wanted child”. With Choice For Men, children come into families when the child is wanted, not because the child is conceived. Finally, we will be able to get rid of this argument about whether it’s the egg or the sperm that’s responsible.
People who are selfish and don’t believe in equality won’t like Choice For Men; and misandrists won’t like it; likewise people stuck in the 20th century won’t like it either. So much for Columbus, Ohio. The rest of the world will move on.
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@Bank Machine
wrote:
“Choice for Men isn’t about blaming one or other party for the pregnancy. It’s also not about money. It’s about having equal outcomes for both parties to the pregnancy. That sounds like a fair goal With Choice For Men, he gets the Choice to be a parent or not to be a parent just like she does. With Choice For Men, children come into families when the child is wanted, not because the child is conceived. Finally, we will be able to get rid of this argument about whether it’s the egg or the sperm that’s responsible. This is the gender equal solution”
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Bank Machine you are refusing to see it because you don’t want to accept responsibility for the choice that men have and continually refuse to take and that choice begins BEFORE conception, BEFORE an egg and sperm join. But you don’t want to address that because to do so would mean you’d have to admit that men refuse over and over again to exercise that choice. So the buzzer sounds AHHHHH! Wrong answer.
The real and only choice for men is making the decision that when he decides to lay down with a woman and have sex, he decides right then and there if his sperm will meet an egg. His choice becomes either to (A) wrap it up, or (B) not have sex with that woman, or (C) have bareback sex. Those are his 3 choices. When men decide on choice (C) and have bareback sex with women, the potential for a baby to be conceived is always looming. If men aren’t ready to be a daddy then they need to do what they should to prevent a pregnancy. Men are solely responsible for where they ‘choose’ to deposit their sperm. Inside the womb of a fertile woman or inside of a condom or not at all. (wow look at least 3 choices before a pregnancy even occurs!)
A man should never take at face value what a woman says about her birth control. He should take responsibility for his own birth control regardless of the woman. So you see all of this rhetoric about a woman choosing to abort or not, forced parenthood on a man if a woman chooses to have the baby, equal say so over whether the child should be born can be avoided if a man chooses to wrap up his dyck in the first place or better yet, not have sex with that woman. Then he doesn’t even have to go there and worry about a woman getting pregnant and maybe aborting or not, because he wouldn’t have created a baby in the first place.
It’s not about an argument over whether it’s the egg or the sperm that is responsible for a pregnancy. There is nothing to argue about that. This is biology 101, that’s factual but it is also easily preventable by both men and women independent of the other and that is the crux of the matter you are refusing to acknowledge because you don’t want to see the real truth.
You Bank Machine are refusing to take ownership for what You as a man can do to prevent a pregnancy in the first place regardless of what a woman does. When you sleep with a woman, YOU and ONLY YOU have control over where your sperm will land. If you don’t want a baby, keep your sperm to yourself and make sure it stays out of her womb in the first place.
I know you don’t want to hear this because for years, men have blamed single parenthood on women for “choosing” to get pregnant, but women don’t get pregnant by themselves.
Just like you said, “Men have the choice to decide if he wants to become a parent or not just like she does”. Yes Men Do have this choice but he has a limited window of opportunity to make that choice. He has to make that choice early on BEFORE he has sex with the woman. If he chooses to have bareback sex with a woman, then he Forfeits his choice on what may happen to his sperm once it enters into that woman’s womb. The only way he can prevent this from happening is by making sure his sperm doesnt enter the woman’s womb and potentially meet an egg in the first place when he has sex with that woman. It’s as simple as that and this choice lies solely with the man and it isn’t dependent upon the woman at all, on what she does or doesn’t do. The woman has nothing to do with that. It’s all on the man. .
You want to make it seem as though men don’t have choices when it comes to becoming parents, that it’s all contingent upon what that woman does. This is so not true. And you shouldn’t be giving women that kind of power over your own sperm. If you don’t want a woman to have that power over your life or your potential children, wrap up your shyt, keep your sperm to yourself and only deposit your sperm inside the woman who is your wife once youv’e made a conscious decision to embrace fatherhood. It’s as simple as that. Accept it because that’s just the way it is. And that is the gender equal solution. The man decides what he wants to do with his sperm BEFORE sex, once the sperm enters the womb, the woman decides what will happen to it.
You summed it up Raz when you said this
“you shouldn’t be giving women that kind of power over your own sperm. If you don’t want a woman to have that power over your life or your potential children, wrap up your shyt, keep your sperm to yourself and only deposit your sperm inside the woman who is your wife once youv’e made a conscious decision to embrace fatherhood. It’s as simple as that”
Men are punks when they refuse to take control over where they dump their sperm but then try to control what the woman does once that sperm has entered her body and becomes a part of ‘her body’ They don’t have any say so at that point. LOL Too late, they are caught, time to pay the piper! LOL. Men keep your sperm to yourself and you don’t have to worry about getting caught up.
Bank Machine “So there you have it — a man’s ‘responsiblity’ is to pay. It’s all about the money. Funny how he is supposed topay and she is untitled to his money,”
Now you’re backtracking and saying
“Choice for Men isn’t about blaming one or other party for the pregnancy. It’s also not about money. It’s about having equal outcomes for both parties to the pregnancy. That sounds like a fair goal”
Which is it? First you say it’s all about the money and in your next post you say it isn’t. You don’t know what you talking about. You up here trying to push some Choice for men” agenda and can’t even get your stance clear.