Men That Don’t Take Responsibility For a Pregnancy Are Punks!

. 09/08/2010 . 44 Comments

It’s time to address an issue that has come up repeatedly – that of out of wedlock babies and who is to blame. It’s been on my mind for months while I heard arguments from both camps and listened to the excuses from both sides.

Though both parties were less than mature and responsible, it bothers me that Black men seem to feel that it is the woman’s responsibility to monitor her fertility and protect herself from pregnancy, not theirs.  Furious at being forced to pay child support, men are pointing at the few men in in the country that were incorrectly named as the father of a child they didn’t actually father.

The blame for the fact that a child is born out of wedlock is placed, again, solely on the shoulders of the female involved. Black men seem to prefer to stand aside pointing the finger of blame at a woman who “made” him become a father rather than take responsibility for his role in the madness.  Blame may also placed on the woman for “lying” about who the father of her child is.

These fools need a serious reality check.

First off, if a woman is screwing you, Thomas, DeAndre and “Pooky” from around the block, and you stick your penis in her bare, you can’t blame her for thinking it might be your child!  It could be yours, just as well as it could be Thomas’ and Pooky’s kid.  You don’t get a pass just cause you want one.

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After all, you were there homey and all UPPPPPPPP in that! So don’t get all irate thinking that you were so “falsely” accused of anything. You took a gamble.  When you take a gamble you take chances and risk it all for whatever you think you are gonna get out of the deal. Sometimes you do win, but most of the time you lose.

So don’t you dare get upset when your paycheck gets tapped for 18 years of child support either.  No one MADE you go to her house, pull off your clothes, kiss and hug on her and decide to have sex.

That was YOUR CHOICE.

No one MADE you go up in that bare, that was your choice.  Screwing with no condom feels better you decided. No one MADE you orgasm in her and risk getting a fertile young woman pregnant either.  Again, that was your choice. It was also your choice when you deposited your sperm inside her body. Once you transferred it from your body to hers, the sperm became hers (“possession is 90% of the law”).  That means you relinquished control over the sperm and abdicated your rights to dictate what happens to it once you gave it to her. It’s not yours anymore to control. You have no more say-so over what she does with it.  Again, that was your choice.

So see, you made a lot of decisions and choices that brought you to the place you are right now – the horror movie starring you as Somebody’s Daddy.

Many women would prefer to not have a baby by some man they aren’t really with.  But too often what you start guilt tripping her about getting an abortion and say things like:  “Abortion is worse than murder. It’s butchery. “Thou shalt not kill” is still in the Bible. If women hate babies that much, they shouldn’t have sex. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the bedroom.”

So she is wrong if she has the baby, and wrong if she doesn’t?

What?

Perhaps we should turn that around and say to the fellas:  “if you can’t stand child support and crazy ‘baby mommas’, you shouldn’t have sex.  If you can’t take heat of responsibility for fathering a child and paying monthly child support payments for 18 years, stay out of the pussy.”

Puts a whole new spin on things, doesn’t it?

I’m tired of hearing grown men (and any man that has sex is grown), whining that they aren’t ready to be a father, that they got tricked, that it’s not his kid, that he shouldn’t have to pay child support for a kid he didn’t want. If you are having sex bare with a woman you know is fertile, you are ready to be a father whether you affirm it vocally or not. Actions speak louder than words, right? You are doing everything it takes to become a father, right? You’ve known how babies are created since you were 6 years old, right?

So what are you talking about you ain’t ready?

Any sex you have, you need to think about the woman you are having it with.  Consider this important question: would you want this woman to be the mother of your child?  If the answer is “hell no!” then get your ass up, and get on.  It makes no sense for you to lay up with a woman you deem to be unworthy of raising or influencing future generations that carry your last name and look like you.  Be a man and stop thinking with your dick.

pregnant black woman single parent single mothers babys mommas

And forget trying to blame women and make them responsible for your sperm. It’s your responsiblity fool! Grow the fuck up! You monitor where your sperm goes and in whose body it is delivered. It is not a woman’s responsibility to manage you, your behavior, your dick, or your sperm grown ass man, it’s yours.  Just yours.  And only yours.

Bottom line guys is this – you were there. That is why you weren’t “sure” if it was yours or not.  If you hadn’t been all up in that, you would know for sure and have fought the label of “Daddy” with everything you had.

But if there are doubts, when the child comes get a DNA test if you want to be sure. It’s very simple and can alleviate all doubts for a lifetime. The smartest tactic is not to admit to anything or sign anything until you have the DNA test results in hand.

But once you know, get over it.  Don’t  be angry at anyone but yourself.  Man up and take the heat that comes with parenting. You dug the financial hole of responsibility you are now in… you did that to yourself by not monitoring or controlling where you put your dick.

Tune into the Date Smarter, Not Harder Internet Radio Show for a discussion on male responsibility for birth control.  Hear reasons for why so many young men feel they can screw around irresponsibly and with impunity. If you miss the live show, you can still listen to the podcast.  Click the graphic below to be taken directly to the show page.

male birth control, celibacy, preventing teen pregnancy, single parents, unwed births, teen fathers, baby daddy, baby momma

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Men's Issues


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