Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the Black Community
Taking into account my two decades of work in the advice field working with single black men and women, and after listening to Donna Andersen and Dr. Fran Walfish, the two experts I had on the show tonight discussing sociopaths, I have come to the conclusion that 97% of Black men in America suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That 3% … oooh weee that is hard to find.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
List from http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx36.htm
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
— These are Black men that expect to get credit and a title of “good Black man” for doing the things they are SUPPOSED TO DO like work, go to school, and take care of the children they helped make. Love to remind women that there are more females than males, and that women need to get with him to “support” and “encourage” and “nurture” him to greatness. Like to refer to themselves as Black kings and Gods, though they possess no riches or fifedoms, and certainly no magical powers. Those that lie about their abilities and embellish their history and accomplishments my cousin Candace calls “Lying a$$ muhfuggas!”
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
— Thinks they will be the next Michael Jordan, or a big time rapper, or a big time model, and are still dreaming that dream at 35. Believes they have the right to a woman’s body, love and commitment even though they are a verbally and/or emotionally abusive, arrogant asshat most of the time.
Believes that he is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
— These are the guys that went to school and now believe themselves too good to associate with “average” Blacks, even those in their own family. They move to the suburbs and marry White women. These are the type you meet at a party and the first thing they want to do is stare down their nose and ask you pointed questions to determine your pedigree – where you go to church, who you know in Jack & Jill or the Black MBA Association, and if you ever vacation in The Vineyard where his father has an estate.
Requires excessive admiration.
— Wants you to tell him “great job” about everything he does and go out of your way to thank him for helping out with his own children and in his own household. What are you, five? If you tell him about himself, he wants to call you bitter, angry or a man hater. Some will turn around use that as justification for cheating. You don’t have the right or permission to criticize him you mere Black woman.
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his expectations.
— This is where the whole “Black women aren’t submissive enough” thing comes in. In retaliation, they will state that they deserve a foreign woman that knows her place and her role and puts him and his needs first without question or demand. Though he keeps his options open to date outside the race, he rants like a maniac at Black women that date other races and accuses them of abandoning the Black community. May attempt to get custody of children in a divorce proceeding to retaliate against a woman that leaves him, though he has never been an involved or even a caring parent. His chief goal is to avoid “paying that woman my money” or to avoid giving her the upper hand (control of the children). The worst of this bunch are the guys that attempt to hit on a woman as she is walking down the street or in some social setting, or that refuse to let a woman leave a relationship without hurting her. In the former, should she reject his advances, he becomes enraged and strikes out with violent words or punches. Women have died from gunshot wounds and stabbings at the hands of strangers. Moreso are the spurned lovers who refuse to let a woman move on; they kill them instead.
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
— In this category are liars, players, gamers, pimps, and users of women. They call it “spitting game” or “running game” and their favorite targets are women. These are the clowns that bust you upside the head and take the purse of an old woman, or the new shoes or jacket of a child. Always demanding and selfish. Even in prison, they demand that you run up your phone bill talking to them, go broke visiting them and putting money on their books. Child molesting pastors, fathers, step fathers, uncles, older brothers and trusted family friends that violate children sexually are also in this category.
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
— Blames a woman for being victimized by one of his male buddies or any male, period. Even if a child is hurt by a predator, its still somehow the mother’s fault for “not picking a good Black man!” instead of the male’s fault for being a predator of children. Sits by idly refusing to lift a finger to help his exhausted mate or failing children. If he sees a woman being assaulted on the street, he laughs and films it to upload on World Star Hip Hop instead of calling the cops. Intervening on her behalf will never happen. Will refuse to help young people or teach his own children anything “because nobody helped me!”
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
— Have you noticed how many Black men hate on Obama or any other successful Brotha for no reason?
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
— They believe they are superior to women for no reason other than they have a penis. I’d say that fits in perfectly.
As with all personality disorders, the person must be at least 18 years old before they can be diagnosed with it.
Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females, and is thought to occur in less than 1 percent in the general population.
— That is because none of those studies have been done on BLACK men where it would be at least 75% of the population.
Like most personality disorders, narcissistic personality disorder typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people
experiencing few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in the 40s or 50s.
— Yeah, because by then they have high blood pressure, “sugah”, need Viagra and nobody wants them.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Gfarria. Dont conflate bm being hunted by white police with bm hunting bw. Unless of course you state that bm hunt bw Becuase They are hunted. Otherwise the two things have nothing whatsoever to do with each other. But typical response from a bm like this though. As soon as you call them on their crappy behavior they start tryin to villify the messenger and go fishing for sympathy. And btw sympathy fishing is something narcs do in their sleep. I know becuase Ive lived with one. But maybe your next response will be “yeah, well You chose him.” Again deflecting away from the aggresor. Tired. Oh, and the fact that you glossed right over my admition of being a child rape survivor is yet another example of a bm behaving like a narc. No empathy. Are you sure you arent one?
And obviously my being married to a “beloved”white man riled you up. My husband could never have anything to do with racist cops. Do you get as anxious with bm when they are married to ww?
Deborrah MichaelOdom I’ll admit, the 97% sounds wildly inflated BUT when compared to the quite accurate rate of OOW kids born to bw in the US, – 75%, it doesnt seem so inflated.
I will say though that it is possible that bw are contributing to their condition only because they do so much “puffing up” of their male kids just trying to steel them against the world out there that they may be manufacturing narcs without meaning to. But again, if dad stuck around…
RobinH65 MeghanSymoneThomas — Nowhere in this piece is the word “ONLY” ever used. Why do black women say stuff like that wasting my server space? That’s pointing out the obvious. What this site does is personalize issues, trends and problems for the african american demographic. So when you see something discussed HERE, it is going to reference black women and black men – not everyone else because there are thousands of sites that do that already.
So stick to the topic at hand and stop wasting time coming up with deflective excuses to protect black men from getting their asses chewed out by me.
All these people giving their unqualified 50cents and asking for ‘research studies’ have probably never in their life conducted one of these studies – otherwise they would know how little value such studies have (considering all the factors that influence the results, including bias and subjective / not valid method). In other words: your extensive detailed experience is much more valid and qualified than any ‘research study’.
Unfortunately most of the haters lack the necessary intelligence to even know what a NPD means (despite your description). In other words: don’t worry about people calling you a racist simple because they’re too stupid to truly understand your content
Deborrah MeghanSymoneThomas
Also, I’m a good, sweet and honest black women. I’m not bitter, but I am hurt. NPD is in all races of mostly men in general and some women. So I’m not going to say it’s just a black man epidemic.
Deborrah MeghanSymoneThomas
I am with you on the black men being narcs in our society, but as far as statistics, well I don’t know about that 100%. What I do know is that I am having to go to therapy because of a con artist who used and emotionaly abused me for 3 yrs. Using the court systems to hide his deceptions and screwing up my life after I just got divorce. I start doing my research on NPD, and it’s quite alarming. If anyone knows Ranzino Smith former UNC basket playa!! BEWARE!!!!!
Openemeyes My condolences on that verdict from last Saturday. Finally, one of your beloved whitey’s is finally facing sentencing from killing off one of those “selfish and pathological” (yet unarmed” villains that you and alot of other “ladies” on this blog seem to despise so much. Oh well, the year is just beginning. By the end of summer, I’m sure more of your beloveds will get off scott free for shooting at future unarmed Black teenagers. But it’s better to knock us off while we are young, right Ms. Openemyeyes than to let us grow up to become future sociopaths, huh?
I was just coming to this same conclusion a few days ago. I have been wary of black men since I was a kid and was raped by a bm. I am married to a white man currently and based on the way they react to us it seems pathological. They look like they want to kill us both sometimes. Why?! They are supremely selfish. They used to steal my sisters ideas when she worked with them on marketing jobs. They judge women’s looks so harshly no matter what they look like. I went to a club once and saw two bm laughing at two bw because they thought hey weren’t petty. And trust, these two guys were not eye candy. What real man laughs at a woman’s looks? They are really bad at breakup time too and seem to always want to break up with the woman first.
Good afternoon Princess! 🙂 Wow it looks like someone still has their beautiful, lacy, pink panties in a bunch!? I will tell you this one more time: If this doesn’t apply to you, then why oh why are you even bothering? Do you just like to look for articles that get you all worked up and foaming at the mouth? Why not enjoy your life and exit the conversation, since you can’t be bothered with debating people who you claim are beneath your wits? You sure spent a lot of time and negative energy debating us? I don’t have to come with a creative debate in order to shut you down, because I have moved on past slow ones like yourself. I see nothing creative or fascinating about what you said either. My friend yiu are like the guy who laughs at his own corny jokes! I don’t get your type at all? Just weird! You open up an argument as though you are personally offended, just showing us that you are not ready to have an honest conversation yet! Funny how you accuse others of having anger about their own personal experiences? Unlike you, I am not afraid to admit, I have had experiences, I know what I’m talking about and witnessed with my own eyes! I am here learning and opening up my own eyes and that is a great thing for me. The fact that you can’t provide constructive critique and straight forward, honest replies to whatever argument I make, shows that you have no real debate yourself. You are full of hot air sir! I can no longer entertain your delusion, I really try to be nice to idiots like you, but why bother? You just approach with the same word play and what’s worse is that you pat yourself on the back for the pathetic arguments you make? It’s like the dumb chick who brags about her husband “knowing where home is after he cheats on her time and time again!” No!!! Just stop it! You managed to come on here and make a perfect fool of yourself. At least you could have lied to me about the fact that you never bothered to research? If you go into court with these kind of arguments, man I hope your clients get a FULL REFUND!!!!!
Name calling, really? That’s all you got. Tired, old, re-used “hit-dog will holler” cliches, personal attacks,..and name calling. Poor debating skills on your part Razzy. Poor, Poor, and dismally poor. Can any of you “Deborrah disciples” defend your master with intellect, reason, or logic? So far, I’d have to say…No.
Once you are King of the Universe and have ultimate power to decide what is reasonable, logical or intellectual, your trite little sayings might have some merit. Right now you sound like a fool. The only thing you get to decide is that you disagree. But to think you have the power to decide that what OTHER PEOPLE say are their reasons for believing what they believe show you to be suffering from narcissism — the very mental affliction you are arguing so hard about. lol
swirlygirl Now swirlygirl, I must admit that I appreciate your venom and tenacity, but something here is missing. Your diatribe, while it is as insanely off-base and ill-informed as the foolish article that I originally critiqued, it’s not as amusing. You seem to do a great job of playing protector, fiercely loyal and laying in wait to jump off the leash and confront any one who dare question your master. But you are way too personal in your attack, it shows poor debating skills and an ultimate lack of creative or critical thought. With that being said, one doesn’t have to have done any prior research or have prior knowledge of a subject in order to offer a critique on a given reports veracity for truth or authenticity..all one has to do is question the lack of citation to verifiable sources, raw data, research, etc. I;m not sure what Christopher Columbus had to do with any thing discussed, so I will leave that alone…and chalk it up to poor joke delivery…like I said, your rant is clearly as crazy as your fellow Deborrah disciple’s…just not as comical….but have faith..and keep swinging for the fences, champ….practice makes perfect.
EddieJ Razzy Deborrah TrSeeker thank you
You do not get to decide what women’s experiences are valid or not. Your mentality is that of an abuser and a narcissist, as if you have omnipotent power and run the world. Boy, FOH with that. I don’t need any more evidence than that. You don’t want to believe the women’s stories and how they all add up that’s fine. Nobody cares. lol!
TrSeeker Razzy “I am a Black Woman’
You are a male dominated broad.