Pro-Life, Pro-Choice or Pro-Abortion?

No matter how careful we are, the possibility always exists that an accidental pregnancy will occur at some point in a woman’s reproductive lifetime.  Even doctors admit that no artificial birth control method is 100% effective 100% of the time!  And when it comes to horny humans and sexual urges, it’s a crap shoot. Therefore, what one will do if an accidental pregnancy occurs should be carefully considered and planned for… far in advance of the possible incident.

Should an accidental pregnancy occur, and you do not discover it until too late to do the Plan B thing, a single woman is faced with just two options:

1. Have a baby and become a “baby momma”
2. Have an abortion

I am of the mind that unmarried women involved in uncommitted sexual relationships with boyfriends, booty calls, FWBs or one-night stands, should always choose option #2 and have an abortion. Why do I feel that way?  Let me share my top 5 reasons:

1. What sense does it make to be tied by a child to a man you barely know for the rest of your life?
2. Why would you voluntarily change your life and burden yourself with a child that neither of you really wanted or planned for?
3. Why suffer the emotional, psychological and financial repercussions of raising a child alone that you didn’t want in the first place?
4. Men frown upon women that have children by men they are not married to, especially if the woman has two or more children by two or more different guys.  Men that don’t date women with children will summarily eliminate a woman with a child acquired during a casual sexual encounter from their list of eligible possibilities.
5. Children are a lot of work even when they are healthy and normal; there is no guarantee that the child you got pregnant with by a man whose habits and family health history you know nothing about will be normal or healthy. (Read my article entitled “The Stupid Muthafucka Gene” for more information on gene pools and mate selection.)

I think young women are too quick to get caught up in the romantic associations of pregnancy.  Instead of being realistic about what is about to hit her, she instead sits around dreaming of soothing a small infant to sleep, nursing it, buying cute little outfits, blah blah blah.

Right.

Raising a child with a man committed to you and the family such as a husband, someone there every day to lend a hand, is bad enough! (Though married, most wives still do the majority of the child caretaking, chauffeuring around, social coordination, school functions, etc.)

But I think single women just don’t understand the hard core reality of what it means to be a single mother until it’s too late. They don’t realize that signing up to raise a child alone means you’ve also signed on for a lot of worry, no sleep, no money, no time for yourself, dying to make it to day care by 6:00 pm in commute traffic, changes to your body that only surgery can repair, physical and psychological exhaustion, and daily stress.

And look at things from the guy’s point of view. He signed on for hot sex on a platter, which is what you were offering.  He did not sign on for a lifetime of financial or emotional obligation to you or this accidental kid.  He isn’t ready to be a father and makes that VERY clear.  Anyway, you said you were using birth control!  You told him that you didn’t think you could get pregnant! Some of you even allow these men you barely know to bareback, since you “love” him and all. Surely you aren’t surprised when you turn up pregnant?

Is it any wonder that in such circumstances men are resentful, angry, and feel trapped and manipulated?  Is it really such a shock to you to hear that he doesn’t want anything to do with you OR the child?  Why be surprised when he bolts out the door and you are left hanging to figure things out on your own?

Sure, abortion, just like having children, is a personal choice.  After all, no one will be suffering the consequences of a decision you make in this regard BUT YOU.  I just want women to be more realistic about this “having a baby” thing and to take those stars out of their eyes.

Motherhood is more than a notion.

If you are a successful business person, or some executive level personage making $150,000+ a year that can afford private schools and nannies, you can probably make a go of the single Mom thing without much impact on your life.

When your biological clock is ticking, you can easily respond to it without much concern.  The child you have will be well cared for, have health care, have wonderful opportunities in life such as trips to Europe, music lessons, and tutors. Your child will also be provided a fantastic education to prepare him or her for a rosy, successful future. You are so set that child support from the absentee father isn’t something you need.

But that isn’t most women.

For those women struggling to make ends meet every month, budgeting to save money for a new mattress, loving caller ID since it helps them to avoid bill collectors – the impact of a child would be tremendous and a true burden.

There is another lurking danger as well, that of being deemed an “unfit” mother and having your child taken away by Child Protective Services. Always remember that the foster care system is a multi-billion dollar money making machine… a business.

Judges, attorneys, advocates, psychologists, social workers, group home owners and foster parents all need a steady supply of children in the system to keep their paychecks rolling in.  The children of single mothers statistically represent the highest percentage of children in the U.S. foster care system. National statistics report that two-thirds of the children in foster care are African American, and Blacks are placed in foster care at a younger age and stay in foster care longer than children of other races as well.

Carefully consider all options and repercussions before you write a check your ass can’t cash.  Because once you have that child, you can’t take it back to the store and return it like a pair of shoes.  It’s not right to pawn the child off on your mother, your aunt or your Grandmother while you run the streets or bed hop with a potential new baby daddy.  It’s not right to be angry at the child, ignore him or her, or make the child suffer in any way because you can’t handle the strain or responsibility of parenting alone. This kid is your child. Just yours. Forever.

Something to think about, isn’t it?