Single Women: Avoid the Dream Weaving Lover
After awhile you begin to realize that you’ve never seen any proof of him actually working on reaching the goals he discussed with you. He isn’t in school getting that MBA. He hasn’t even registered. His dreamy words are all you have, but you hang onto them and your fantasies like a life raft, defending his lack of action to your disgusted friends by weakly saying “but he said…”
Then the love of your life begins to stand you up for dates after promising a good time. You’ve noticed that he isn’t quite as affectionate and attentive. It also takes a lot longer for him to call you back than it did in the early days of your relationship. Days as a matter of fact.
He promises to come over at 7:00 and bring pizza and movies for a Blockbuster night. Instead he shows up at empty handed at midnight rushing you to the bed. Before he talked about taking you to his weekly card game to meet his friends, and to the annual family reunion so he could introduce you to his sister and Mom, but now he claims to be so busy that he doesn’t have time to go himself.
At some point you decide to be assertive and question him. When you bring up the issue and try to nail down a specific timeline for action, he throws a fit, starts an argument, and tells you he’s not ready yet for anything serious. He has someplace urgent to go and the matter will have to be discussed later. Then he’s out the door.
Sadly, it begins to register that he talked about doing a lot of wonderful things in his life, but he never actually said that he wanted to do those dreamy wonderful things with YOU.
Accept the reality ladies, you got played by the Magic Man. He comes into your life, creates a whirlwind of exciting dreams, fantastic sex and hopeful yearnings for more. He spins magical mystical dreams of commitment and love in your head and heart, then poof! He’s gone in a puff of smoke.
Was he ever really there at all?
It pays to choose your men and relationships wisely, always with an eye towards what you NEED vs. what is exciting, fun, or relieves your momentary boredom.
Never stop being the sensitive, fun-loving, devoted, warm and wonderful woman that you are! Provide those privileges and benefits only to the RIGHT man, the man that not only talks the talk, but walks the walk.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
Another reason to wait until you are married. He will disappear fast. I met this loser described in the article. Exactly, word for word, he started talking crazy, trying to create something that was never there. What a weirdo.