All over the Internet men are whining about the “fake holiday” that is Valentine’s Day. Even small children understand that this is a day set aside to show someone that you care and that they are special to you! What is it about that concept that grown ass men don’t get?
Why do so many men resent Valentine’s Day and spend hours bitching and moaning on websites, blogs and to anyone that will listen about why women don’t deserve to be honored on Valentine’s Day?
I’ll tell you why! Because those men are spoiled, selfish assholes!
These fellas want everything their way, they want women to believe what they believe, and they want women to fall in line and not demand much of anything from them. These men want to receive the benefits of a woman’s time, attention, affection, loyalty, cooking, cleaning and body 365 days a year without spending even 60 seconds on the one day set aside to make one’s lover feel special.
A blog post by Marc Rudov advocated “No-Mance Day” instead of Valentine’s Day. A quote from his page:
I gladly do sweet things for women, including buying them flowers, when I choose to do so — not when radio and TV spots instruct me, not when women expect or demand it, and not if these women wouldn’t reciprocate or initiate the same gestures.
I don’t pay for sex, and I never will.
Check out that last line ladies. He like every other man that cosigned onto his proposal equates a woman’s sole value with sex. That’s it. It’s okay for him to expect or demand sex, but it’s somehow wrong for a woman to expect him to spend time or energy showing — on just ONE DAY now — that his woman, his relationship and the sex you two have is important and special to him.
Some of the men griped that a woman shouldn’t expect them to “go broke” on Valentine’s Day, as if doing anything at all costs an arm and a leg. That was their excuse not to do anything – it costs too much. Really? But the $59.99 you spent ON YOURSELF for an X-Box Madden game, well hey, that was a life-saving, absolutely necessary purchase! I get it.
Look guys, giving someone a card that you made costs nothing. Adding one red rose costs a few bucks. Writing your woman a poem or a love letter and giving it to her on Valentine’s Day is free. Cooking her favorite meal and setting the table with candles costs what.. an extra $5 for the candles?
Selfish men go to great extremes and come up with the most creatively bullshit excuses not to do anything for a woman on that one day. You stubbornly insist that since it’s “expected” you won’t do it, and you “don’t pay for sex” either.
The guys with this selfish hoarding mentality are always single. The mentality that they don’t have to go out of their way to occasionally please a woman guarantees that they will remain single for many, many years. Even if they are lucky enough to get a woman to date them for awhile, when she realizes how self centered he is, she will leave him anyway.
Another interesting fact that surprised me was how many Black women defended these emotional and financial cheapsters. These women claimed that it’s a nothing day anyway, and that men should not be on the hook or “forced” to show a woman any special attention on Valentine’s Day.
Personally, I think those statements are being made by women that don’t want to get their hopes up about men. Not anymore. They’ve been repeatedly disappointed by men in the romance department, and in response have lowered their expectations of men to ground level. That way they don’t get their feelings hurt when the guy in their life doesn’t do anything for them or treat them like they are special. They aren’t upset because they never expected him to do anything for them anyway.
I say that with confidence, because even as young children in Kindergarten, females love Valentine’s Day! Women love romance and passion and for men to show that they care in many small ways on a daily basis. Sure guys might do things YOU want to do for her when YOU want to do them over the course of a year. But to women, Valentine’s Day is a day set aside to show extra love. Why refuse to do it?
Every woman likes to be thought of as special to her man and it started with Little Reggie Smith that brought her a penny Valentine and a lollypop in first grade. He didn’t expect sex – he just wanted to show how much he liked her.
Wise women also know that when a man really loves a woman with his full heart, he jumps at the chance to celebrate Valentine’s Day and is not grudgeful about it either. A man that loves his woman is proud to bring joy to his woman’s heart and put a delighted smile on her face on Valentine’s Day.
Few woman would verbally check her man about him not doing anything for Valentine’s Day. But the fact that your woman doesn’t SAY anything to you does not mean she doesn’t FEEL negatively about your behavior. You can bet that inside she feels unappreciated and neglected and her feelings are hurt. She wonders why you don’t think she is important enough to show a little extra attention to her — just to make her feel good.
Your stubborn refusal to give her attention on Valentine’s Day puts your relationship on the fast track to disaster.
Your woman sees that you are a man that cares only about himself and what YOU think. Your woman sees that you are a man that gives only when YOU think she should have something, not when she needs or wants it. Inside she knows you are a man that will resent female expectations of performance, unless YOU want to meet them, and it has to be at YOUR convenience. She now knows that you are a man that will leave her starving for romance – just because YOU don’t think its important.
Women smart enough to recognize these facts will break up with a guy when he doesn’t do anything for her on Valentine’s Day. You guys want to attribute the break up to unrealistic expectations about “one stupid day.” In reality, your refusal to participate in a lover’s day celebration shows that you think of her as nothing but a convenience… she feels like nothing to you but a booty call. The realization that you feel so little about her happiness motivates her to dump you on the spot.
Sometimes I wonder if men are really as clueless as they come across. I’m serious! I look at all the ways they slight and injure women they claim to love – the controlling behaviors, resentful attitudes, the selfishness – and I shake my head.
Men have the power to save their relationships by getting smart about how they treat the woman in their life, and it begins with adjusting their attitude about Valentine’s Day.
It takes you guys as little as 15 minutes to “celebrate” Valentine’s Day, but your woman loves the extra attention for days. The card you made or carefully chose, the poem or song you wrote, or the love letter you penned will be cherished forever.
Why is that such a problem?
And why is it that so many Black women don’t feel deserving of that kind of adoration?
What do you say readers?
Category: Women's Issues