Why “Nice” Guys Suck and Women Don’t Want You!

. 08/26/2010 . 113 Comments

Being a “nice guy” does not win you any brownie points in the dating game!  Never has, never will.

You win at dating when you give the opposite sex what they want.  Even if a woman is your wife, you still have to have a spine, still stand strong and remain in control of yourself as a man should.

The bottom line that you “nice” guys need to understand is this: when women are young they are not interested in settling down and being serious.  Why would a girl want some clingy, overly solicitous codependent around?



Young women want to HAVE FUN.  And the best men to have fun with are impulsive, thrill seekers that have an edge… males that exude testosterone and inspire passion and desire with their games and lies.

Which is why “nice” guys that project neediness, that go out of their way to please women with the expectation of getting something in return get passed over.  “I was so nice to her, why doesn’t she love me?  I deserve to have someone love me more than those players do!” the nice guys say.

No you don’t. Really.

But if you want to get the girls you need to be the type of guy that never allows a woman to tell him what to do or to control him in any way.  Certainly, in a marital partnership there is established trust and decisions are made with input of both parties for the betterment of the family.

But we are talking about dating here, not marriage.

Just remember, once you allow a woman to have the upper hand in the relationship, she loses respect for you.  And when a woman loses respect for a man, she loses her sexual attraction for him as well.  She sees you as a brother, and normal people do not feel sexually attracted to their siblings.  You are subsequently put in The Friend Zone and you are never coming out.  If the two were dating, she will ultimately declare that “he’s too nice” and dump him out of boredom.

There is hope for you guys though.

Bad boy types stay exciting for a few years, then most women move on.  Once the play is out of their system (just like in guys), people change their perspectives on life.  Their choices in lifestyle, dress, and romantic partners change as well.

As a woman heads into her 30s she transitions and begins to look for a husband and father for her children.  She will look for slightly different qualities in her mate and put more emphasis and higher value on personal qualities like honesty, work ethic, family values, responsibility, and similar lifestyle than she does on excitement and sex appeal.

However, even if a woman is 50 years old, she does NOT want a weak, whiney, judgmental, superior acting dude!  Every woman on this planet wants a guy that she sees as attractive, exciting and sexy – she just wants him to be committed and devoted to her and the kids at the same time.

Finding the right woman for you is simply a matter of you matching whatever it is that a woman is looking for.  If you fit her needs, you’re in.  If you aren’t chosen Mr. “Nice” Guy, that simply means you don’t fit her needs.  No matter how “nice” a guy you might perceive yourself to be, you aren’t the RIGHT guy for her.

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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