Will.I.Am Says Women That Possess Condoms Are Tacky

| 05/06/2011 | Comments (11)

On Thurday, May 5, 2011 Dr. Boyce Watkins and advice columnist Deborrah Cooper got together to discuss the recently published ELLE magazine interview/controversy involving Will.I.Am, Black Eyed Peas frontman.  In the interview, Will.I.Am shared a few of his views on life and addressed female sexuality, growing up fatherless, his very strong mother, losing his virginity, and ass cleaning.

Read pertinent excerpts from the full interview in ELLE MAGAZINE below:

ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?

W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just throw me off. That’s just tacky.

ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?

W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.” Another pet peeve is wet sinks.

ELLE: Wet sinks?

W: Yeah, like a wet sink. You don’t wipe the sink after you use it? Dry it off! And if she’s got only dry toilet paper and no baby wipes next to the toilet. You ain’t got no baby wipes?

ELLE: I’ve heard about this particular deal breaker before. Why is that a big deal to you?

W: Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. That’s why you gotta get them baby wipes.

Dr. Watkins stated that most men believe a woman that has condoms on hand is loose and easy booty. He also stated that men’s primary desire is to have something “special” … that male desire to have a woman that hasn’t slept around with other men is a biological one. 

Deborrah disagreed. Her view is that all of male judgments with regards to female sexuality and expectations of vaginal purity from women are nothing but patriarchial nonsense and egocentric male socialization.

Few people have the willpower to turn off the heavy breathing, get in their car and go pick up condoms while in the mix (evidenced by the high numbers of STDs and unwanted pregnancies that abound in the Black community). To me, an adult women having condoms on hand when dating is like having car or health insurance… you want to make sure in case you need it, you “have coverage!” 

 

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Comments (11)

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  1. Simon Templar says:

    Asshole. Safe sex or none at all. Women should ask him: Again, whose pussy is it? Answer very clear.

  2. Jenna says:

    I’ve been a fan of the Black Eye Peas for years and will.i.am has never even remotely struck me to be heterosexual. Women don’t have to worry about his condom, dry sink or baby wipe issues. He ain’t coming over.

  3. LMH says:

    Wow! The real issue is a woman who is responsible and in charge of her own sexual satisfaction and protection is threatening to a big loser’s ego. *insert eye roll here*
    I don’t have to listen to the video to know that listening to this guy would give me a major headache.

  4. Bellydancer says:

    A co worker of mine years ago said she used to keep a little wooden box on her night stand filled with different types of condoms and a guy actually balked when she showed him the box and told him to pick one.
    This motherfucker actually got upset and told her nevermind he wasn’t in the mood for making love after she showed him the condoms, put his clothes back on and left. I said since when do black men turn down some pussy. He was on some superior moral bullshit and she was trying to make sure she was safe.
    There were different kinds so her partner could not say oh I don’t use that kind or that kind does not fit me etc…
    Hell women are dying out here and this negro according to Dr. Watkins and to quote the movie I’m Gonna Get You Sucka “Is waiting on somebody special” before they do the correct thing.
    Don’t get me started on the baby wipes see this is why I stopped fucking with black men years ago.

  5. Rose Marie says:

    I am seriously contemplating never listenting to another Black Eyed Peas song. Seriously, Wil I Am or William, bruh. I kept thinking all that double talk sounds like a power play and maintaining the upper hand in a relationship to me. Plus, there has been a concerted effort by women to educate other women especially younger women on the importance of carrying or being responsible for their own protection and preventing unwanted pregnancies so brothas won’t try to run and get a way with a bunch of game as to why they can’t use condoms or other types of protection. Furthermore, I’m sure some of these guys think their lame stuff will float and will be able to do it bare back if they don’t have any condoms and neither does she. As Deb pointed out, how many people, who are on the cusp of hot and heavy foreplay are suddenly going to stop and head down to the local “whatever” to pick up a pack of Trojans (as a lot of brothas would like to claim they only use everything else is too small, blah, blah, blah). It might happen but I seriously doubt it. From the excerpt, Wil I Am sounds like he has some serious control issues. What is up with dudes and baby wipes-I have had this discussion before with a non-celebrity. I use my baby wipes to remove my make up, not keep your lining soft. If I am not using them on my behind you sure as heck aren’t either. And I’ll save my rant about Dr. Watkins input because I’ve gone waay to long with this one.

  6. Casey says:

    I think Will.I.Am is being very unrealistic.

  7. Pat says:

    OMG I’m so sorry Deborah that you had to sit and listen to this self-centered double standard thinking nut. It IS socialization. Testosterone, yeah right, bullshit. He is just making excuses for immature double standards. Marriage was not intended for the woman, and the man settling. I hope no one takes his opinions seriously. If the guy can can be out sowing his oats, who is he doing it with? DUH ! It is the man with low self esteem who keeps the double standard going.

  8. Pat says:

    If guys are so tough, why do they think it’s ok for them to be out ‘sticking it’ wherever they want while women have to be virtuous. We don’t want pimp boys either. Therefore, I think this dude is full of shit and making excuses for his weakness.

  9. eLLe85 says:

    Shaking my head in disgust. Even though men in general have to get over themselves and the outdated patriarchal notions, I am thisclose to leaving Black men alone for good.

  10. Raz says:

    Wow Dr Boyce is full of shit and he comes off as sexist and stupid sounding as Wil-i-am’ What’s with him talking so dang long too. He goes on and on for what seems like forever before he actually takes a break and let you answer his long drawn out response.

    I can’t believe the things coming out of this so called PhD’s mouth and his antiquated sexist ideas and double standard with regards to women. Can we say Boyce has the Madonna/whore complex BIG TIME!

    What’s with men thinking their dick that has been around the block umpteen times deserves a pussy that is virginal? They need to let that shit go and stop judging women solely based on the usage of her vagina. It’s these kinds of tired standards that keep black folks from forming successful relationships.

  11. Mary Alice says:

    First of all, coming to my house to take a dump is TACKY. Don’t come here trying’ to blow up my bathroom!!! I don’t have baby wipes cause I use soap and water. What did Willy do before they invented baby wipes?

    Second, there has to be a term for grown unmarried men who go to women’s houses. How about womanizing t.r.i.c.k.?

    Third, what is he doing snooping in her bedroom, the logical place for condoms?

    Fourth, I don’t get why males think every single drop of their semen is a magic potion that women want (unless she is tryin’ to be a baby momma).

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