Match.Com’s Singles Survey Means Nothing for Black Women
The online dating giant Match.Com, recently released their second annual Singles in America survey. Boasting the participation of “over 5000 single men and women of different ethnic and religious backgrounds, regions of the country, sexual orientations and age cohorts [about] what they ‘must have’ in a partner,” the survey provides an interesting peek into the dating habits of American singles.
Dozens of publications have run stories on the survey results, which display compelling headlines such as “Republicans Have More Orgasms” and “Android Users Prefer One Night Stands”. Those headlines were very funny, but the one that got single women’s attention (and was therefore forwarded along to me most frequently) was “Shocking Study Reveals Men Care about Marriage, Babies!”
Looking at the headline I could only say “you’re shittin me! Really?”
So I pulled up the study results published thus far (excellent marketing ploy by Match to leak out tantalizing bits every week or so), and took a look at the highlights.
Key survey elements:
- Only 3% of men surveyed said they wanted to date a lot of women.
- 58% of men are more likely to believe in love at first sight.
- Interest in marriage was equal, with 33% of both men and women wanting to marry.
- 31% of men are willing to commit to a woman that has everything they want on paper, even if they aren’t in love with her. Slightly less (26%) are willing to settle for a woman that has what they want on paper, even if they don’t find her to be sexually attractive.
- Almost half the men surveyed (46%) have no problem moving in with a woman in less than a year of dating.
- Seniors are sexy beasts… respondents over the age of 60 were more likely to require their partner to be romantic and sexually attractive. Plus, the senior set were the most orgasmic, making the magic happen 91-100% of the time.
- Between the ages of 21 and 34, men were more likely to want children than women – 51% of guys wanted babies, compared with just 46% of women.
- Dr. Helen Fisher (Director of the survey) noted that once happily ensconced in a committed relationship “…men are less likely to say they need personal space (58% vs. 77% of women); less likely to want nights out with friends (23% vs. 35% of women); less eager to own their own bank account (47% vs. 66% of women); and less likely to want to take a vacation on their own (8% vs. 12%).”
Hmmm.
Curious about the demographics of this survey, I started digging around for statistics on the Match.Com market, site demographics by age and race, U.S. demographics by age and race, and the age and race of participants in the online dating market in general. In essence, I wanted to find out how much of this data would likely be applicable to the single Black women seeking marriage that excitedly forwarded me the link about men loving babies and commitment.
I hate to disappoint you ladies, but the answer is “not much!”
The survey data was apparently not gathered exclusively online, which means we have to consider the realities of casual “on the street” type surveys when it comes to African Americans. Working for Match.Com, we can assume that the survey takers (like the learned professionals directing the survey), are Caucasian. Survey takers are most often going to approach people that look like them. Studies conducted on the campuses of Universities around the nation are also largely Caucasian and heavily weighted in the under 23 age group. We also know that African Americans are not keen “telling my business to strangers” so the level of participation by our folks was likely to be very low.
Looking at the racial breakdown of Match.Com members from numbers at Quantcast.Com for the second half of 2011, the site visitors were 49% male and 51% female, with 77% of those visitors identifying as Caucasian, and a mere 9% as African American. Now, according to U.S. Census reports, African Americans constitute approximately 13% of the U.S. population. Estimating that the study would reflect slightly lower participation from African Americans than either Match.Com or the U.S. Census, I settled on a 7% participation from Blacks as the median figure.
Well, 7% of the total (5000) means around 350 of the singles interviewed were Black. If 51% of the 350 are females, it means the study shares the thoughts and opinions of a mere 171 Black men. So, though this singles study is comprehensive, and certainly reveals interesting facts about our society, it actually means very little for any Black woman seeking to marry a Black man.
Racial Analysis of Key Points
The socialization of Black males towards women, dating, marriage and relationships is very different from that of White males. Were this study conducted exclusively amongst single African American men, the results would have been shockingly different. For example:
Match.Com Study Result #1
Only 3% of men surveyed said they wanted to date a lot of women.
In Black culture, the man with the most women and sex wins. Black men are socialized to meet, date and bed as many women as possible. Such men receive the admiration of other Black men. A Black man with a lot of women is labeled a “player” or “Mack” and receives respect for his skills with women. As one poster stated “Last time I looked, they weren’t passing out pamphlets in the hood on how to be GREAT HUSBANDS and EXCELLENT FATHERS. How many Black men do you hear talking about they can’t wait until they get married? Shoot…how many little boys these days do you know that walk around saying “when I grow up, I can’t wait until I have a wife!”
(continued on page 2 below)
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Follow Me:
Category: Society and Culture
This was good. Many of these surveys do not apply to black women. The white majority is who it’s meant for.