A buddy of mine is now dating my ex!

| 10/29/2011 | Comments (0)


Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I just found out earlier today that one of my close guy friends of fifteen years is dating my ex whom I dated for about six months recently. We’re all in our early 30s. Couple of years back he was very upset at people who would go out with their friends ex’s to the point of getting pissed off and not being supportive on this type of behavior. You could imagine all the swearing that he used to describe this type of behavior. Well, now the hipocrisy has gotten the best of him and he is acting upon something he was very against – talk about irony.

I sent him a text today to wish him a happy birthday and to congratulate him on his new girlfriend so that he knows that I know. What would you do in my shoes? I am open to hear your piece of advice on this one because it kind of leaves me speechless. It did not catch caught me off guard when I found out he was dating my ex, but it was certainly a unique revelation.

I have no intention of ever talking to him again. Do I just walk away cleanly?


Dear Speechless:
First, you sure have a lot to say to be someone that claims to be “speechless.”

Secondly, why are you acting all bitchy about this? You and the woman only dated a few months – it’s not like you were engaged, married, lived together, had babies together, etc. You just dated (aka screwed) her for a few months then you moved on.

Obviously you two didn’t hit it off that well, otherwise you would still be together at your age. It’s not like you are a teenager or a college student! You and she were not a good match, so why are you hatin’ on your boy like that?

He may turn out to be a better match for the chick than you were and be very happy with her. I don’t get why you are all bent out of shape, especially since you didn’t want the woman anyway!

It’s like this dude:  Imagine that you had an old couch that you didn’t want anymore. “That ratty old thing, it’s got to go!” you say to yourself. So you sat it out at the curb. Someone you know comes along and picks it up. To them it’s a great find, it even matches their decor! However,  to you it’s something you didn’t want anyway and you put it out to the curb like trash.

So if someone you know can use it, and it works for them, why would you care if they have it now when you didn’t want it anyway?

This advice question is exactly the same story, but it involves a woman instead of a couch.

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Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."

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