A Word to Black Women Dating Men Out of Prison

| 09/03/2012 | Comments (8)

A word to the wise among black women…..

The number #1 killer of black women ages 24-35 world wide, according to the WHO, is AIDS/HIV……..With that being said….

Back in the early nineties, I had the unfortunate opportunity, to spend a few years in prison. A bad situation could have been made worst, had I not used the time in there for my betterment and to work on being me. Life behind the walls of a prison is like another world, they have their codes, their language, and their ways of doing things.

One of the most common thing that goes on in prison, is men having sexual relationships with other men. Now, even though I never participated in this abnormal and evil behavior, there are a small number of black men that do. These men don’t necessarily have “life” in prison or double digits of time to do, and most of the time, it is the inmates that have 5 years or less, that plunge head long into the homosexual lifestyle. I have seen men 6ft, 260lbs, and all muscles, lift every weight on the weight pile during the day, and have another man busting out his booty hole at night. These guys wasn’t feminine or dressed up in jail house drag trying to imitate women, no, these were “manly” men, with deep voices and 27 inch arms!

I worked in the kitchen and part of my duty was walking trays down to the prison infirmary to feed the inmates in there. They have a special ward where I was held, just for men with full blown aids. The sight of those guys was like looking at death dying slowly. Some of these guys had just been admitted after they had “break outs” on their body or they got sick. These same men were once on the main yard or the dormitories, sleeping with other “men” not even a few weeks or months ago sometimes, now here they were dying and they probably had infected some of the other guys they were sleeping with…SMH.

About 12 years ago while at Block Buster video store, I ran into a guy I was locked up with. He had this beautiful sister with him, and when he recognized me, he immediately walked over to me (without his woman) and said, “Hey Minister Shadid, how you been doing man?” Before I could respond he added, “You know brother, what happens in prison back in the days, should stay in prison ya know. I done changed my life and I’m straight now.” I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind! I responded, “He bro, the lady you with know you was a b***h in prison and you was letting guys run pipe in you?”

Of course he said no, he didn’t tell her. Now this guy was one of the dudes that used to lift all of the weights on the yard and work out like a maniac, but at night, he was bending over for dudes and he claimed to be “in love” with another man while he was in there. I was a minister for the NOI and an Imam for the orthodox Muslims then and every now and then, the dude would come to me for counseling. As I stood there, I wanted to go over there and let the puss out of the bag, but instead I told him he was living a lie and if he truly changed, he should inform his girl and come clean. I never saw dude after that.

On a side note, a good friend of mine told me a few months ago that she was dealing with a dude that had just gotten out of prison six months prior to her meeting him. She also informed me that it was him that got her into having anal sex. She bragged to me about how much she loved it and how “Earl” was a pro at doing it. She then went on to say that when they first “did it” he didn’t need any lube and he just used his fingers and “slipped” it in without any problems. See when she told me that, I had to bust her bubble and get her to use her brains and think. I told her, “There is no way a man that has only been out six months can become a expert at anal sex after that short amount of time.

He must have been screwing men in the a** while he did those five years and that’s why he is so good and smooth at it!”…There was a long awkward silence on the phone for a few minutes and she managed to say, “Oh my god! I feel like a damn fool, now it all makes sense”….I told her to go get checked and she should consider leaving old dude a lone…..You sisters need to really check these brothers that come along and try to push that anal sex agenda. Most of the times, these guys go both ways or they have homosexual leanings.

A booty hole is a booty hole, no matter if its a man or woman. If a man will do a woman in the rectum, under certain circumstances, he will do the same to a man, and anal sex is not a natural act. It serves no purpose but to break a woman’s body down. Once the muscle around the anus weakens, you will have to go get surgery to rebuild it.

Why I am telling women this? Well, because women need to know what they are dealing with when a brother gets out of prison and she should take all necessary precautions. With all of the “down low” nonsense going on and these low life black men going between women and men, black women need to be on guard and proactive in protecting themselves and children from men like this.

If you meet a man coming out of prison, or just with men in general, you should;

1. Have him checked for AIDS/HIV before you sleep with him.
2. Do a “booty hole” check and make sure his anus isn’t wide as a silver dollar and open
3. Do a criminal back ground check to make sure he is not a pedophile or sexual offender.

You cannot trust nor believe anything these black men say today because they have become pitiful and extra weak and perverted. With all of the “Gay pride” chants and undercover brothers out here, black women have to be careful, so please take heed, and do not take the word of these black men when they tell you they are “straight” especially if they have done some time in prison.

This post may offend some people, but I”m trying to make women aware of the deception that has been going on. Ignoring the reality of this will only be to your or a loved ones detriment.

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  1. MonicaBackest says:

    I can ALMOST understand how or why a man may consider or do it when locked up, especially for years. The guys in the free world on the DL wearing their secret mask sneaking off & then going to a uninformed female whom think she is with a hetrosexual-straight man, I can’t comprehend. Many women of all ages are under attack right now & they have no idea. The study in California produced results that Syphlis is on the fast track of rentering society due to hidden DL behavior specifically because of men claiming to be straight & being with females that think they are with a straight man. To me that is a premediated criminal act if he brings some kind of virus or infection into her life.

  2. MonicaBackest says:

    It is the lying & the malice intent that is the problem IMO. In 30+ states so far if a person recklessly or intentional infects an uninformed partner, i.e.-the act of taking away their right to choose, the lie that takes away their option of protecting themselves, rather than giving them the chance to have informed consent-in many states it is now a felony. A crime that they can do 5-10 years for. So, if any of the sneaky eyes be reading this-you best remember that legal information I just posted. I am so glad that our state worded it as such. Reckless or with intent. Two differ words-meaning two differ actions & two differ thought processes. The wording helps squash that, but IDK cop out excuse. Might not have known? Look up the defination of reckless!

  3. MonicaBackest says:

    I just found this site & askheartbeat site last night. You are sadly going to be helping a lot of prople by posting this info. By sadly, I mean that there is an obvious need for true, educating information. I am floored today by the info I have read in posts about the DL pandemic. I had stumbled across a page on craigslist one night & my jaw fell to the floor. While I have absolutely no problem with anyone’s sexual orientation, that is their business. I do however have a huge problem with people that go both ways & do not inform their partners or anyone they would be with in a sexual way. It is decietful, manipulative & dare I say evil. Abusive in the regard that they take away the option of choice from the other party. It is becoming so dangerous just to get to know someone for months & maybe get like that with them after an acceptable amount of time while getting to know them. Only to find out that a severe abusive betrayl was occuring in the very same moment that the other party was thinking that the friendship, relationship was blossoming to a higher intimate level. Lying is an invisible weapon. How does one protect themselves from such abuse?

  4. Carol Denise Mitchell says:

    Here’s my story on this subject. The pain never goes away

  5. Goodness says:

    I would never be with a guy who went to prison. However, There is nothing wrong with gay sex or gay men in general. Just men who try to hide it and lie and don’t use proper protection with their male lovers. It’s sad that a good number of black women think having sex with a man who just got out of prison is hot when he most likely had been having unprotected gay sex while in there. Not to mention sharing needles and who knows what else. But to say that gay sex is evil and abnormal is extreme bigotry and it saddens me that so many black people carry such hateful views about homosexuals. BTW, just because a guy wants anal sex does not mean he likes having sex with men. That is so ignorant. Most men want that cause they watch too much porn. But overall if men and women enjoy it then I could careless. People just need to be safe that’s all.

  6. TyroneRiouse says:

    Excellent Points Shadid! Keep providing useful and truthful information.

  7. Razzy says:

    Thank you Shadid!!  This should be put on blast to black women.  

  8. zipporah says:

    Thanks for the info!! i knew about this YEARS AGO—this is WHY I GET AFTER THESE KIDS who wear there pants BELOW THEIR BELTS. and women think its cute?! Not just black women mind you; BTW, some WW are starting to ‘take it in the tailpipe’, or thats what i’m hearing, because her man is a porn addict…they do lots of sex and perverted sex in porn anyway

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