Black women in America: dispelling myths and stereotypes

| 05/12/2011 | Comments (3)

As black women continue to rise in educational and professional accomplishments, they must battle the negative, destructive stereotypes portrayed in the media. What drives these myths and misconceptions? Why are black women portrayed as always strong, never vulnerable. Why do black women believe they can’t have the “American Dream” that women of other races expect as a matter of course – a successful career, a devoted husband, and a family? Why are so many accomplished, professional black women suffering from depression, stress-related illnesses and loneliness?

Sophia A. Nelson is a respected national columnist and political/social commentator for CNN, FOX News, MSNBC, NPR, BET, BBC, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Essence and Huffington Post and dozens of other top tier media outlets. She is also the author of an exciting new book: Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama.

Sophia stops by The Date Smarter Not Harder Show to discuss her well-researched and important book which delves into the challenges faced by the 21st century black woman, and what she can do to come out on top!

Please join us for what is sure to be an interesting and informative interview with Sophia Angeli Nelson. The studio call-in number is 347-327-9215.  Click the graphic below to go directly to the page for this broadcast.


Date Smarter Not Harder interviews Sophia Angeli Nelson on Sunday May 15, 2011

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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  1. Sassyblues says:

    I listened to the podcast of the show and while the guest made some interesting points, I honestly didn’t see where she differed all that much in the fear mongering the white media touts concerning black women’s marital status. She used a lot of stats simply to prove her “opinion”. As Mark Twain quoted, ‘There’s lies, damn lies and then there’s statistics’. One caller tried to get her to see what is the point of the focus on the stats regarding black women’s marital state in 2011 but the guest rudely talked over the caller wouldn’t even let her get her point in. She seemed to act in the very way she claimed those Christian church going women act (which she admits that she is) which is defensive, self righteous and narrow minded. She knows what she knows and don’t confuse her with ‘your point of view.

    Her one-sided view that women who are married are better off than single women is simply false. But she wouldn’t know that because she didn’t research that aspect so how reliable can her book be? She touts this same old story that marriage guarantees happily ever after when we know this isn’t true. She, just like white media, totally focused on the ‘marital state instead of quality of marriage. If marriage was so great women wouldn’t be filing for a divorce in droves… upwards 75% of the time. She and everyone else who touts marriage seem to forget that years ago that was EXPECTED of women. Women 2 or 3 generations ago and further back had few viable employment opportunities… and black women even less except to be a maid, cook, nanny, washer woman. Women couldn’t support themselves without a husband so women were encouraged to marry so they could have a means to live.

    Now in 2011 women don’t have to marry for that reason and she along with everyone else touting marriage to black women should realize that. Maybe black women aren’t marrying because they don’t have to. In fact a lot of older women a few generations ago would give anything to have the independence and opportunities black women have today instead of being bound down in drudgery being housewife and mother. But male dominated religious minded women like Sophia don’t realize that.

    It’s 2011 and time to stop continually expecting women to get back into a 1940’s mindset and box. Relationships are evolving and a lot of folks don’t want to accept that. But change is never easy and it is violent. You’ll have tradional minded women and men protesting about the so called ‘good old days’ singing that ‘pie in the sky’ song and acting as though black men back in the 1920’s 30’s 40’s and 50’s 60’s didn’t run out on their families, weren’t drunks, didn’t loligag around, weren’t lynched, murdered, killed off on their jobs and that there were no ‘single mother’s raising their families.

    People really need to get a grip and stop confusing White TV families such as “Leave it To beaver, The Waltons, Brady Bunch and white folks Hollywood stereotype family to the realities of what life was like for the vast majority of most black families.

    This woman gave some silly naive examples of advantages of marriage as if a married woman won’t ever be alone. The average woman outlives her husband anyway so chances are she will be a widow and life happens what if the spouse is disabled or killed?

    I have to admit I was very disappointed in the guest that night. For someone who is a lawyer she showed very little realistic common sense in terms of her viewpoints of the REAL deal with black women and relationships and their mindset. She did very little to dispel myths in fact she just fed into the very stereotype her book claims to debunk. She is just another Steve Harvey and Hill Harper touting the same old BS about black women “need to get married’ to save the black community and family as if that is the ‘sole’ thing a black woman can do to uplift the black community.

    How is someone getting married going to benefit me individually? That’s just some old BS religious talk that amounts to nothing. Black women can do so many other positive things for themselves and they don’t need to get married to improve their lot in life nor that of the community. In fact most of the strides made in the black community day to day caring for kids, and community are made by black women anyway. In fact if every black person regardless of their marital status would donate $1.00 towards scholarship money we could send a vast majority of minority kids to school. I know of a group of single women who mentor young jr high and high school girls encouraging them to stay in school and showing by example that they can have a successful life.

    I specially remember my grandmother telling me once, “Chile go as far as you can go, in life. You have chances I didn’t have when I come up… Shit anybody can git married and have a bunch of chillins ain’t nuthin special bout that.. I want you to go beyond that and let someone else have dem babies’.” That’s the messages I’ve heard repeated from older generation women who didn’t have opportunities like we do today. But instead you have women like Sophia Hill Harper and Steve Harvey going in the reverse direction. Touting stats, and encouraging women to be barefoot and pregnant. If men are so worried about babies, let them figure out how to have them. Women reach for the sky and stop paying fear mongering silly folks attention with their negative messages.

    • eLLe85 says:

      Wow, lady, logging in to THANK YOU for this comment. I didn’t hear the podcast but I wholeheartedly agree with your overall points. Let someone else have dem babies, I got stuff to do, and if a man can’t coexist with me in a mutual loving and respectful relationship, I am okay with that as well.

  2. Rose Marie says:

    Sounds like it is going to be another great show!

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