Female Submission in Dating and Marriage: Why Should Women Submit to Men?

| 01/24/2012 | Comments (4)

Have you ever asked yourself why religions around the world promote the concept of female submission? Since it is acknowledged that men had sole input and responsibility for writing these ancient texts, would one not be suspicious at least a little bit that men might set themselves up to be in control? Why do women not question the fact that perhaps men had a vested interest in writing these religious texts in a way that would be favorable for them?

Since its 2012 and the entire structure of our world societies have changed, why do men (especially Black men), cling to the concept of female submission and the word “submit?”  When a man wants female submission, what is it that he is expecting to have happen? And why do Black men believe that submission by Black women is the #1 requirement for a happy relationship and marriage?

Let’s discuss the whole concept of female submission, men’s desire for it, and its appropriateness in modern dating and marriage.

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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  1. lebdaigle says:

    There is a difference between submission and selfless love, when you love someone you already submit to them submission is inevitable because they own a piece of your heart you care for them and they have the power to break and hurt you and not love you back. Men and women both submit to each other when they fall in love, naturally they give pieces of their heart and soul to each other. Some men and women or should I say little boys and girls at heart, are scared of the fact that they have submitted their heart to someone they are vulnerable in love and are terrified of their love one abandoning them so they always try to CONTROL their lover. They will puff themselves out like a pufferfish saying things like I can leave you for a better lover, no one else will love you etc. sometimes it gets really bad and they physically psychologically abuse their lovers to keep them in this bird cage so they can be only their beautiful bird. This is called the jealous lover who is too scared to selflessly love someone and by selfless I mean love them and want them to be happy regardless if they are in a relationship with them or not they just want them to be happy. Instead the jealous lover wants to own their significant other like a pet dog so they could never run away and possibly find another true lover that truly loves them. Their fear is losing their lover and though they may honestly love their lover their love is tainted like the Marilyn Manson song tainted love. Therefore this men serving women deal came from little boys who are too afraid to admit they are in love with a woman too afraid to admit they are submitting their hearts to them, what makes a man is the fact that he knows and cherishes his love he shares with his woman and honors her and their love. The whole bible submission thing isn’t what it sounds like in fact a woman submitting to a man in a Godly way is beautiful and true love where the man isn’t playing this 50 shades of grey game with her he’s loving her nurturing her protecting her providing for her is her best friend her nurse her lover one of her caregivers. Female submission to a man actually looks the exact opposite as this picture it’s where a man treats a woman he loves like a princess is brave enough to admit he loves her and he’s in love with her, brave enough to admit she’s a part of him in his heart. And in return his women cherishes her love for him and the sacred beautiful caring gentle love they share and she treats him with love and respect and is there for him also. The biblical version of submission is beautiful, the fucked up version of submission that society has made it into is ugly and profane, it breeds men who think it’s ok to disrespect women and women who think it’s ok to be disrespected.

    • Deborrah says:

      That sounds like some ole fairy tale shit. And since you have already acknowledged that men ARE NOT like “biblical days” anymore, what the fuck would a sane and sensible woman look like giving herself over to him in a “submissive” way that matched some old timey ancient book? Only a fool would give in a vacuum. And even so, I cannot advocate that women ever submit to men. Fuck that. If submission is so fabulous, let men submit to me.

  2. stop twisting says:

    submission is a weapon of selfishness men use against women to get wat they want why the relationship lags behind.if u notice there is a lot of patronizing that comes with submission so as to rule over that person and make that person do what they want.when they discover people whop notice this wicked act they make that person feel insecured as soon as possible yet if u are wise u will know its a weapon and its never a weapon of love.it is wanting to be seen,ego boosting and making others dormant so u get all d praises,it is used to take advantage of people and taking credit for what is not yours.they cant stand when those ppl outshine them they rather be crazy.it is a self aggravating word thar Christians themselves do not know how to check whether men and women are equal anymore they mostly teach about hell so ppl wud repent but dey dnt teach dis men that God hates pride and false egos.women are running away from commitment dis dayz cos of this issue,they are protecting themselves from being victimized by this kind of people ,they hate what tghey do and ppl now conclude they are bitter when they are merely avoiding problems and cant join them in their wicked act.its truly the world of hypocrisy when marriage is turned into payments instead of love for another before u can love one another u have to be equals.

  3. OneWord says:

    Since, in the context of Black or African men, a majority of them follow Christianity, I will refer to that for my answer.
     
    The men that trumpet female submission are doing so to not only perpetuate and preserve archaic, patriarchal values (that are essentially obsolete and unnecessary in modern areas of the world), which are heavily exacerbated religiously, but also feed their primordial egos with a self-satisfactory sense of domination, control and leadership.  In short, it’s an alpha mentality.  Such mentality places deifying, unquestioning emphasis and ‘power’ on that very person (the male) and has no leeway or room for consideration of the other (the female).  After all, as many of these men like to proclaim, there can be only ONE head of a house.  Couple such mentality with a fundamentally flawed interpretation and application of religious texts and the submission contention will always be on one’s hands.  Unfortunately, societies for centuries – as with any other habit – have rendered their people that way, so it will take another long length of time for attitudes to truly change and there to be an open, flowing relationship of mutuality and equality, particularly among ‘Black’ and many African relationships.
     
    The thing i find funny with such men is that should a woman dare to request equality in a relationship, that woman is vilified and pilloried as a ‘Westernised’ pariah – yet those very men are relying on a WESTERNISED religion themselves to justify their ideals.  Hypocrisy, anyone?

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