I’ve been hearing men and women talk about feminine energy and its power quite lot over the past few months. And with each utterance I grow increasingly incensed.
The women that promote the concept of “feminine energy” as if it is something we are born with are misguided and misinformed. There is no such innate quality at all. Any behaviors that are deemed to be “masculine” or “feminine” are based entirely on socialization, and the expectations that men have of women and that women have of themselves to meet those social values.
Personally, I think the whole concept is a bunch of bullshit.
Men Cannot Be Masculine Without Feminine Women
I’ve said numerous times that men have no real concept of masculinity. It’s extremely difficult if not impossible for them to define the traits and qualities of masculinity on their own. Instead, both men and women define masculinity in terms of its opposite – the qualities they label feminine.
Dr. Judith Wright defines feminine power as “taking an emotional charge and handling it responsibly.” She charges women with the responsibility of the emotional environment of their homes and relationships. Women therefore, are to accept a role as caretakers, monitors and police of the emotional state of everyone in their circle to ensure that everyone is taken care of and happy. Fulfilling this role means she is utilizing her “feminine power?”
SWAMI CHAITANYA describes feminine power like this:
“The power of women lies in tenderness, love, beauty and feminine grace. When they start seeking the same power as sought by men, they lose something very precious. Of course, women should be strong and courageous but not in the same way as men are. They should be strong in their own unique way-the feminine way. When they realize this uniqueness, no man can match their power.”
“She is so soft. In fact she never fights, she persuades. She does not fight directly; her fight is indirect and subtle. If she wants to say no, she will not say so directly, but in a thousand and one ways her whole being will say no. In the way she places the plate, in the way she moves, in her sari’s swish… She will say no. She herself will say yes but her whole being will say no. How can you defeat something so subtle? If you love the woman, you are defeated.”
Women cannot afford to be “subtle” with their words or body language in our society! If she wants a raise, she better speak up. If she wants a cab, she better holler as loud as the guys do. If she wants a commitment, she better ask for one. And she better be very, very firm and clear when she says “no!” Look at all the men that believe the feminine drivel that women don’t know what they want and are just being coy… that her “no” really means “yes.” That twisted belief system leads men to ignore women’s words and body language when she is saying “no!” because it’s not what he wants to hear. So he will rape her anyway.
Softness, nurturing, gentleness, sweetness, and grace certainly have a place in a woman’s life. But women do not have a patent on those qualities. Neither do men have a patent on aggression, anger, murderous rage, stubbornness and directness. To label these personality traits in such sexist terms places both genders in boxes that limit their ability to grow. Both men and women are stifled spiritually, mentally and emotionally by the term “feminine power.”
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Category: Society and Culture