Men Are All The Same
Earlier today I was engaged in an interesting group discussion. A couple of guys declared they were complex beings, unique and different from each other in many ways. At first I thought they were joking, then realized these fellas were actually deluding themselves into thinking that they were somehow magically and vastly different from all other men.
Amused, I decided to set the record straight.
Men were born simple, they live a simple life, and they die simple. It’s women that are complex, multidimensional creatures. Men are all the same.
Men are afraid to stray too far off the beaten path of what is acceptable behavior … what other guys in their socioeconomic or ethnic circle consider proper “be a man” behavior. That is why men are all the same.
Men are fearful creatures and need the acceptance of their male peers – they crave it. That is why men are so easily talked into behaving in a pack mentality. Young men that were raised well and that one would never think would behave in criminal or abusive way willingly go along with their friend(s) and abduct or gang rape women, break and enter, rob, beat down, jack or kill people. That is another way that men are all the same.
Men can generally be found living desperately terror-filled existences where rejection by a woman shatters their ego, sometimes for decades. Teenaged boys rejected by the hot cheerleader in 11th grade never get over it, and still feel and talk about the angst well into their 60s.
A man’s sense of self is defined by his success or failure with women, and in that respect men are all the same.
A man that has a lot of women has high self esteem and confidence; those that fail with women lack both. Men do not feel like men if they don’t have a woman. Men don’t feel manly unless there is a woman next to them that makes him feel big, strong and confident – men are unable to produce these feelings on their own. Yet, there are millions of women washed in religious rhetoric that believe that men are stronger, more capable, and natural leaders. What a bunch of bullshit that is! If men were leaders, the world wouldn’t be in the shambles it is in right now.
Men need women more than women need men.
Men even put responsibility for their growth, development, achievements and change on women! Men don’t do crap by themselves, they need women to lead them to it and to motivate them to change. Think about it.. how many times have you heard men excuse their egregious behavior by saying “well if women stopped responding to it then men would change!” Like it’s fine that they behave stupidly, because once again, its about what women do for them, with them, to them. They are not motivated to change and improve on their own for betterment of self; Mommy/Wife has to make them. Yet, he insists that she “let him lead.” Huh?
Women have a lot of power.
Women give men a sense of purpose and a reason to live. Women motivate men to greatness. A desire for women’s approval makes men invent things to impress females. Everything men do is designed to get a woman’s attention (unless he is gay of course).
To acquire the favor of a woman men will clean up their caves, bathe, cut their hair, get an education and a job, smile, and try to make themselves be something presentable and pleasing. If a woman still doesn’t want him after he does all those things he gets angry and like a child throwing a tantrum, strikes out. If no woman wants him, it has to be because women only want thugs. It can’t possibly be that he just isn’t man enough to get or keep her attention.
My advice for women is this: If you want a particular man, be withholding and distant. Make him work to get you. Make him do better than even he ever thought he could. Make him prove himself to be worthy of your time and attention. Make him work to spend time with you, to take you out, to have his children, to marry him. Make him feel that he had to come with his “A” game for you to even look in his direction.
All men must at some point learn to stand strong, purposefully and alone without being propped up by other men, living in a group think world. Men must learn what the true qualifications are of leadership and manhood – one cannot blindly follow behind other men, roll with their “boys” and dress, walk, talk and act like they see on television or down the block.
After all, to lead the orchestra the conductor must turn his back to the crowd.
Women have an extraordinary amount of power with men that they are not using, as females en masse have been brainwashed to believe themselves less intelligent, less dynamic, less of everything than males.
This entire website is devoted to exposing the truth about the Ghetto Jedi Mind Tricks that have been perpetuated upon unsuspecting African American females by black men and society as a whole. Black women need to understand the internal power they have, and the power they have over men. Stop giving your power away to unworthy fools.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Men's Issues
For any man to base his self worth on his success or failure with women is absurd. Too many women are like little children to me to base my self-worth on their appraisal. Women are all too often attracted to shiny things, like children. Bling, shiny cars, etc… Why do you think so many men work to acquire bling, and shiny cars. Women are simple. If they weren’t then the prison system wouldn’t be filled with fathers. I mean if the Black men who fill our prisons aren’t guilty of flaunting ill-received possessions that are shiny and meant to attract Black women, then I don’t know who in this society is. The proof is in the father-filled prisons. Black women will open up their legs to any cash-flaunting simpleton, because a lot of them are simpletons. You know in a way, I almost think that if women don’t like you, especially Black women, that you probably are sane, non-flashy, clean-living Black man with a legitimate job. It’s no wonder that the most educated Black men tend to seek out White women, and get them!
“Black women will open up their legs to any cash-flaunting simpleton….It’s no wonder that most educated black men tend to seek out white women, and get them.”
I see you are still touting that I will go be with a white woman talk,. Fool, newsflash, white women open their legs to any cash flaunting simpleton. I don’t know why you have all these negative harsh criticisms for black women and then put the white woman on some sort of pedestal as if she is perfect. Nigga please. no woman no matter what her race wants to be with a broke loser fool. And since you went to Howard, and got nignored by the women there, and didn’t get any pussy like you wanted, here you are all these years later, hating on black woman. You act as though you are entitled to a woman because you are ‘not in jail, and clean living and educated. So what, big fucking deal dude. That ain’t special. Any number of women have jobs and are educated and clean living.
A woman doesn’t owe you some pussy just because you want it. You must look like the inside of somebody’s ass, and you have no charisma which is probably why you didn’t get any pussy. Women, just like men have to desire and be attracted to the man they give the pussy to. Besides, plenty women give pussy to broke niggas, (if those niggas turn them on).
Relationships – will they always a power struggle? Probably so.
I concede that attractive women have access to the control of a powerful sexual force.
Let’s say that we men create the circumstance of NOT being slaves to that force, HUGELY influenced: yes – slaves: no.
What are we left to do then?
We COULD save up $500,000, go to undergrad, med school, and eventually work to cure cancer (or work as an additional doctor that health care costs can come down).
We could go to law school and clean up our government, political, and legal system.
We could invent the successor to the USB computer cable.
We could discover the next big alternative to fossil fuels.
We could clean up the Garbage Island in the Pacific Ocean.
It seems like you’re saying “forget about sex, leave us women alone, and go do some useful (albeit boring) things”.
Do I have it so far?
Is that what you got out of the article? LOL!
Let me try to explain
#1 Do not be a follower. Be your own man. Stand on your own, Chart your own path. Do not do things other guys do just to fit in and be a part of the crowd.
#2 Use your own mind. You have one, use it! If you are with a group and they are about to do some criminal act, do you really have to go along with it because they are your boyz? You don’t have the strength to step away like a REAL MAN and make a choice in your own best interest?
#3 Use your creativity for good not foolishness. Some dudes sit around plotting how to get over on women, how to use them, get free pussy, not pay child support, drug the girl in the next dorm that won’t go out with you, etc. Instead of using your creative genius for stupidity or things that will harm others, break free from the crowd and go invent something like you said! (Great list by the way).
#4 Be different from the men you grew up with. Because they are losers hanging on the corner, do you have to be one too? Because they all wear their pants hanging off their ass and caps on sideways, do you have to do that too? Because they call women bitches and ho’s, do you have to do that too?
#5 Stop chasing pussy and chase education and security instead. Young Black men trick their lives away chasing pussy and at 40 have nothing to show for it but a bunch of baby mommas. Be different than your peers. You could also change your peers.
So let me get this straight: Women hate it when men lump all of them into one category, yet some of you have no problem doing the same thing to men?
Do like I do. If what you read doesn’t apply to you, ignore it. Just like you would ignore it if I talked about multi-millionaire handsome CEOs. That doesn’t apply to you either, right? So be quiet.
Deborrah: You are ALWAYS on point!
You knocked another one out the park Deb–just met a fool who got mad every time he kept insisting that he was a special, unique, “not like these other ninjas” sunflower, and I kept saying that is what they all say. His mind was blown because I didn’t respond to his charms the way other women must have because I AM actually very unique, yet he ‘warned’ me that I will mess up and “push men away” because I wasn’t open to his foolishness the way others have been.
These fools, I swear. They really are adding up to be a lost cause. I have found supposedly grown men to be very insecure, whiny, pathetic and miserable.
Yes, I’ve found the same. It’s always a disappointment. I guess with each new guy I keep hoping that this one will prove me wrong and actually BE different, but thus far it has not happened. Its disappointing because from their perspective, we do not have the right to dismiss them for whatever reason we have, only a reason that is valid to THEM. The underlying message is that if they choose us that we are supposed to go along with it and give them what they want, no matter how irksome, uncharming, unintelligent, unsuitable or ill mannered they are.