Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the Black Community
Taking into account my two decades of work in the advice field working with single black men and women, and after listening to Donna Andersen and Dr. Fran Walfish, the two experts I had on the show tonight discussing sociopaths, I have come to the conclusion that 97% of Black men in America suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That 3% … oooh weee that is hard to find.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
List from http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx36.htm
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
— These are Black men that expect to get credit and a title of “good Black man” for doing the things they are SUPPOSED TO DO like work, go to school, and take care of the children they helped make. Love to remind women that there are more females than males, and that women need to get with him to “support” and “encourage” and “nurture” him to greatness. Like to refer to themselves as Black kings and Gods, though they possess no riches or fifedoms, and certainly no magical powers. Those that lie about their abilities and embellish their history and accomplishments my cousin Candace calls “Lying a$$ muhfuggas!”
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
— Thinks they will be the next Michael Jordan, or a big time rapper, or a big time model, and are still dreaming that dream at 35. Believes they have the right to a woman’s body, love and commitment even though they are a verbally and/or emotionally abusive, arrogant asshat most of the time.
Believes that he is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
— These are the guys that went to school and now believe themselves too good to associate with “average” Blacks, even those in their own family. They move to the suburbs and marry White women. These are the type you meet at a party and the first thing they want to do is stare down their nose and ask you pointed questions to determine your pedigree – where you go to church, who you know in Jack & Jill or the Black MBA Association, and if you ever vacation in The Vineyard where his father has an estate.
Requires excessive admiration.
— Wants you to tell him “great job” about everything he does and go out of your way to thank him for helping out with his own children and in his own household. What are you, five? If you tell him about himself, he wants to call you bitter, angry or a man hater. Some will turn around use that as justification for cheating. You don’t have the right or permission to criticize him you mere Black woman.
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his expectations.
— This is where the whole “Black women aren’t submissive enough” thing comes in. In retaliation, they will state that they deserve a foreign woman that knows her place and her role and puts him and his needs first without question or demand. Though he keeps his options open to date outside the race, he rants like a maniac at Black women that date other races and accuses them of abandoning the Black community. May attempt to get custody of children in a divorce proceeding to retaliate against a woman that leaves him, though he has never been an involved or even a caring parent. His chief goal is to avoid “paying that woman my money” or to avoid giving her the upper hand (control of the children). The worst of this bunch are the guys that attempt to hit on a woman as she is walking down the street or in some social setting, or that refuse to let a woman leave a relationship without hurting her. In the former, should she reject his advances, he becomes enraged and strikes out with violent words or punches. Women have died from gunshot wounds and stabbings at the hands of strangers. Moreso are the spurned lovers who refuse to let a woman move on; they kill them instead.
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
— In this category are liars, players, gamers, pimps, and users of women. They call it “spitting game” or “running game” and their favorite targets are women. These are the clowns that bust you upside the head and take the purse of an old woman, or the new shoes or jacket of a child. Always demanding and selfish. Even in prison, they demand that you run up your phone bill talking to them, go broke visiting them and putting money on their books. Child molesting pastors, fathers, step fathers, uncles, older brothers and trusted family friends that violate children sexually are also in this category.
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
— Blames a woman for being victimized by one of his male buddies or any male, period. Even if a child is hurt by a predator, its still somehow the mother’s fault for “not picking a good Black man!” instead of the male’s fault for being a predator of children. Sits by idly refusing to lift a finger to help his exhausted mate or failing children. If he sees a woman being assaulted on the street, he laughs and films it to upload on World Star Hip Hop instead of calling the cops. Intervening on her behalf will never happen. Will refuse to help young people or teach his own children anything “because nobody helped me!”
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
— Have you noticed how many Black men hate on Obama or any other successful Brotha for no reason?
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
— They believe they are superior to women for no reason other than they have a penis. I’d say that fits in perfectly.
As with all personality disorders, the person must be at least 18 years old before they can be diagnosed with it.
Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females, and is thought to occur in less than 1 percent in the general population.
— That is because none of those studies have been done on BLACK men where it would be at least 75% of the population.
Like most personality disorders, narcissistic personality disorder typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people
experiencing few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in the 40s or 50s.
— Yeah, because by then they have high blood pressure, “sugah”, need Viagra and nobody wants them.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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gfarria
A hit dog will hollar and gfarria is howling. This article must have hit home with you somewhere to put you on the defensive and in denial. I’m sure had this article been written about women, you wouldn’t have said one thing.
Gfarria has what a wise woman Brooklyn Blue bird once referred to as the “Prove it rebuttal”
“There is a phenomenon amongst black men that I have nick named
the ‘Prove It!’ Rebuttal. It works like this…anytime a woman,
especially if she is black, speaks to the collective negative experience
of black women, (particularly at the hands of black men) some guy will
come along and demand evidentiary proof to validate and verify what she
says. A black woman MUST have statistics, data, charts, graphs,
studied, scientifically controlled lab results, archeological Findings,
carbon dating and stone tablets carved by Jesus himself, in order for
her words to have merit. The shit is hilarious, and it never fails. All
these brothas who CLAIM to give women their due, still find I hard to
accept what she has to say, without 3rd party qualification,
quantification or verification. So many brothas are sexist to their
core…and don’t even realize it. Damn shame”
That’s you gfarria sexist and narcissistic.
Deborrah
That still doesn’t help that you cited no scholarly work of any type in your article. Except one site and a reference to two people you had come on your show. Instead most of it is based on observations. It really diminishes your credibility, especially since you draw a number not from any scientific experiment. I understand this is not a scholarly work, but even as a piece of journalism this isn’t very good. I’d be welcome to reading this again if you included a few sources to back your claim. Otherwise I’ll dismiss it.
Again, not one single shred of scientific evidence provided to substantiate anything you say. This is so intellectually dishonest that its laughable…only in the “blogosphere” can one get away with such unsubstantiated cheap shots…such unfounded foolishness and call it “research”…I just hope you aren’t in the NABJ…some of those folks take their craft seriously…and this dribble is a mockery.
Deborrah Deezy My major issue with this article, apart from the clearly made up numbers, is the fact that it’s supposed to be an advice column. What’s the advice given herein? Don’t date black men?
Also, you’re the first advice columnist that I’ve ever seen attack her readers. People may disagree with you. Class would dictate that you take it in stride. You have your opinion and you’re fully entitled to it, but others may have differing opinions due to their experiences and knowledge.
Deborrah Deezy Well, I suppose relationship advice columnist trumps peer reviewed research all day long.
EddieJ TrSeeker So neither of you disagree, you just upset about the number I used. I see. Well that’s your thoughts. Mine say differently. Feel free to write any article you please that espouses YOUR views.
Icewater05 Good. Then this little exchange is over.
Deezy That’s nice. Doesn’t change what my research and experience with hundreds of thousands of people as a 20 year veteran in the relationship advice columnist business. I stand by my assessment.
RockStarReka Yawn. It never fails that some foreign black woman wants to position herself as superior to African American women in some way. You all always do this. It’s so nonoriginal. But thanks for sharing your opinion.
gfarria Never did I say that my number was arrived at based on one 60 minute interview. No, its based on 20 years of experience interacting with that demographic, and a lifetime of being a black woman. So I am fully qualified to make my assessment based on MY interactions with hundreds of thousands of black men and women over those years. I stick by my number. Might be 95% vs. 97% so if it makes you feel better, we can roll with that. So 95% of black men are sick in the head.
Deborrah Icewater05
I’m not offended the piece, i’m offended by the misuse of information from any source. male or female, rich or poor, white or black. I also have no problem confronting men who behave this way.
This gets better. You are quoting this http://www.lovefraud.com/ lady, Ms. Donna Anderson. Based on her website and bio, she practices the same type of shoddy journalism you do (no counter-balance, no other side of the story, no….nevermind). And she bases her “expert opinion” on her dealings with a “man she believed to be a sociopath”…again, not one shred of scientific proof to back up any of yours (or her) assertions…I got a great laugh tonight. And after checking the footnotes (something we learn how to do in entry-level social research methodology classes)…I got a few more. Thanks, Ms. Deborrah…i may actually become a fan and follower…this is way more entertaining than any of the other sit-coms on TV…
I’ve never heard of your show before, and I came across this particular post while catching up on some late night FB scrolling….I’m hoping that this is “tongue and cheek” sarcasm…if it isn’t, then that’s really a shame. These grossly exaggerated over-generalizations shred any credibility you may have had to shards. By your own admission, you came to your conclusion about 97% of all Black men in this country, based solely on an interview with two “so-called” experts”. You fail to cite any scholarly articles, findings from research studies, or peer-reviewed analysis. This is dribble, pure and simple. This is the shoddiest type of journalism, it’s lazy in it’s approach to scientific content, its as poorly written as it is researched…and I really do hope this was written in jest, If so, good one, the jokes on me and I’ll laugh right along with you. But if you were serious, and if this is the type of journalistic contribution you wish to make and expect to be taken seriously, then Ms. Deborrah, the joke is most certainly on you.
This was a terrible and racist (YES I SAID RACIST) article! No wonder men of all color label us a “Angry Black Women” too many of you are stuck being bitter on the poor choices of men you have made! This is solely a opinionated piece and for you to actually try to diagnose almost an entire race of men with your bitter beliefs is not even laughable because ignorance is often times, dangerously influential!
Get you life and act together, you are no journalist, just another angry black AMERICAN broad with internet access and a keyboard! You will not succeed in the further destruction of my race!
You appear to have fallen into the trap that many who are not clinicians fall into. You hear a bit about a disorder and then run with it trying to apply it to their own situations or the situations of those around them. Do some black men suffer from NPD? Definitely. Is that number 97%? No. Not by a long shot. Perhaps you were being dramatic when you posted that number, but people wander onto your site, read that number and believe you and parrot that figure to others. It does not make for a strong argument and it seems a bit like male bashing.
Now I understand that perhaps I’m ignorant or I’m in some sort of “bros before hos” mentality, but please understand one thing.
I’m a practicing psychologist…I know a little bit about personality disorders.