The Black Man’s Blind Dating Rules

| 10/01/2011 | Comments (2)

The biggest mistake men make is not providing enough intrigue, mystery, and challenge to keep a woman’s interest level high. Also, men do not pay attention to vital signs that let them know which direction the date is going. The most important sign is her initial reaction upon first laying eyes on you:

If she flashes a disappointed look when you first meet you have your work cut out because you may have failed the physical attraction test…so show her a great time and do not invade her space nor pressure her for her attention and affection. You can still spark intrigue, mystery, and challenge through your personality and other qualities. But never lash out if she seems to be withdrawn from the date. Just be a gentleman and try to end the date early.

If you pass the physical attraction test…do not become an obnoxious jerk playing with her feelings! Leave the heartbreak and games to them. One thing about women, if they are physically attracted to you they have a hard time masking their emotions. They become giddy, talkative, apologetic, and sometimes insecure about this behavior because they can’t help it. Just be cool and let her work that out…do not feel sorry for her, since she has probably hurt many men’s feelings prior to you.

Being a Real Man Means Being a Challenge

ry to avoid excessive or unnecessary compliments. Rome’s secret…women do not like compliments from men who they are not attracted to. Give her a compliment when it is appropriate (like a dress worn to dinner) , but do not use compliments to win her over. Excessive complimenting will only turn her off. So, avoid flattery since it is not sincere. Gauge her interest level in you first, temper compliments to fit that interest, and make sure they are well earned.

Win at recreational games and sports. If you take your date to play pool, arcade games, bowling, or sports make sure you initially beat her thoroughly and let her win only once before you leave. Women are turned on by winners not losers, and even more turned on by chivalrous winners. So, let her win…after you let her know who her “daddy” is.

Do not initiate physical contact. Do not grope her with attempts to hold her hand, putting your arm around her shoulders, sitting too close or trying to touch her sexually. Let these gestures evolve naturally once she has given you clear indication that she would like physical contact. Remember, women do not like to be touched by men they are not attracted to or comfortable with, so slow your roll.

Hints she would like contact:

  • Touching your arm or chest while looking in your eyes smiling admiringly.
  • Caressing your hands during quiet conversation.
  • Resting her head upon your shoulder during a silent period.
  • Sitting close or snuggling up to you.
  • Standing close in hug position when waiting.

I only recommend that you hold her hand or put your arm around her but do not caress her. Caressing shows affection and may even be interpreted as sexual. You do not want to be open to all that too soon. Also, when there is a break in the action let her grab your hand first or get close for a hug…do not initiate. She is still testing to see if she has you open, so she can have you eventually eating out of her hand.

Always leave her wanting more…and remain a challenge.

Thugs get so much time of day because they are a challenge to women whereas a nice guy is boring and predictable. So what do women really want? Women want a thug (ruff, rugged, & exciting), but they need a nice guy (responsible, providing emotional stability) which to a woman rolls up into…a real man.

Think about it…when women complain about a man it is always because he is inadequate in either of the two departments: i.e., he’s boring (“he doesn’t excite me intimately), or he doesn’t handle his responsibilities. Either way he is labeled as not being “a real man.”

The first date and the dates thereafter will set the tone as to how things will go for you long term. During this period you must pay close attention and use these dates as a learning experience if they do not work out…most of all do not neglect to see the signs. Take things slow and show her attention and affection based on merit and not on trying to impress her. Always be a challenge and make her work at the relationship just as hard as you do.


(continued on page two below)

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  1. joeclyde says:

    I believe this is an honest post about Black women. But If a man said the exact same thing. I feel a lot of women would reject the messages. Especially the part about women preferring thugs because of excitement.

    Now saying all that, and admitting that women get bored very easy. Which is the god honest truth. How is it possible to sustain a long fulfilling relationship with a woman. That basically has ADD.

    I think at some point. Adults need to understand that life is more than a 24/7 party. Marriage isn’t the movies. You will have some fun days, and some boring days. That is just the reality. If you can’t comprehend that. Don’t get married.

    That is why I feel a lot of women become drama queens, and start arguments, and/or cheat. Because they are constantly searching for this excitement. Which is fleeting. It never lasts. Men who try to do this become court jesters, and women become spoiled. So when do we get to the point. Of saying enough with the games. On both sides.

    So yes. I agree with this post. If you are a man looking to have sex with a woman for a couple of months. But women and men with this mentality. Have no shot of maintaining a relationship.

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