When The Children of Single Parents End Up Dead
Children living in single parent homes also experienced:
• 77 percent greater risk of being physically abused
• 87 percent greater risk of being harmed by physical neglect
• 165 percent greater risk of experiencing notable physical neglect
• 74 percent greater risk of suffering from emotional neglect
• 80 percent greater risk of suffering serious injury as a result of abuse
• 120 percent greater risk of experiencing some type of maltreatment overall.
The age of the child’s mother has also been shown to influence the child’s risks for mistreatment. Younger mothers have statistically higher rates of child abuse than mature moms. Lack of economic resources, the stress of single parenting, social isolation and a dearth of emotional support are factors which contribute to the higher rate of abuse amongst young single parents.
The Reality of Parenting: It May Not Be What You Expect
Teenaged moms frequently get caught up in the fantasy of pregnancy as the cure all for loneliness, a lack of family, or a lack of love. Some believe that having a child “for him” will be the ultimate gift… the glue that will hold a male’s attention and keep him involved in a relationship forever. Other young women believe that since they were raised in a single parent home and turned out “okay” that they can and should do the same.
Focusing on the “miracle of life” and “the blessing” they have been told they are carrying, many young women begin excitedly shopping for baby clothes and accessories. Their days are spent fantasizing about life as a proud mother of a beautiful little baby girl or boy. Amazingly, there is little to no focus on how drastically different life will be once they are saddled down with the burdensome responsibility of raising a child on their own.
It is not until the child is born that the reality of parenting hits. You will see then how exhausted you are, how broke you are, how people get tired of hearing your child cry so they refuse to babysit. You will see how your baby’s father goes on about his business having fun with his friends or new woman, leaving you with the day to day stress and drudgery to handle all by yourself as a single parent.
Your youthful years – when you should be having fun and learning about yourself and the world, will instead be spent tied down with responsibility and obligation. As you struggle to put food on the table and keep the lights on, your anger and frustration will grow. But that’s not all!
You will be passed over for a relationship by many great suitors… men that don’t want to be bothered with raising some other guy’s child. They don’t want to have to play second fiddle to a child that isn’t their own. However, you will be of major interest to pedophiles that know that lonely, overly-trusting single parent Moms and their male-attention starved children are easy prey.
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture
These stories are so sad. I absolutely love your no-nonsense style of laying out the truth. I hope some young woman who is contemplating having a child out of wedlock for the ‘love’ of her life comes upon this piece before it’s too late.
I too get tired of the whole ” a child is a blessing” mantra that is thrown out there. A child is the product of a biological act that all creatures on earth participate in, granted some reproduce asexually. There is nothing magical about making a child, it takes no skills, most everybody can do it. So many ppl are on this blessing trip that they fail to acknowledge the actual work that will go into taking care of a physical being that is 100% dependent on its parent/s for everything, and that will remain in their life for as long as they live. When the harsh reality hits, they start treating their ‘blessing’ like a curse.
Also Deb, these are the extreme cases, many children will not die but will still suffer terrible physical and emotional abuse in these home that will adversely affect them for a lifetime. I wont even touch the pedophilia angle because I can’t handle that right now. But I do hope your sane words reach the ears, or eyes of those who need to receive it.
To all my young single ladies with NO children reading this : PLEASE TAKE HER CAUTIONARY ARTICLE SERIOUSLY!!! she has spoken nothing but pure truth. There will be plenty of time for this later…..get your education first, get to know you, establish yourself, find a loving established, ready mature HUSBAND then carry on……
To all my young single moms WITH children reading this: PLEASE TAKE HER CAUTIONARY ARTICLE SERIOUSLY!!! she has spoken nothing but pure truth. You already have children, put them first and foremost. DO NOT HAVE ANYMORE!! DO NOT PUT A MAN ABOVE THEM. at this point in time, jump on the boat and get an education (read, read, read), there are still a few resources left out there, but time is of the essence. The economy is weak and soon the last of these “freebies” is going to dry up, so do it now!!! Take care of yourself and your child, find a support system that is healthy for you and your child but once again, DO NOT HAVE ANYMORE RIGHT NOW!!! i know what I am about to say is not ideal and may even be unpopular, but here goes. When we have children first, we have to face the possibility of having a hard time getting the good man for reasons she stated above. It is what it is, its frustrating yes but it’s not your baby’s fault. Its also not the end of the world!!! your priority has to be a focus on bettering yourself and your child. It could very well be in the best interest of your child to WAIT until your child grows up, yes I said it WAIT until your child grows up before dating…If you had your child young, say age 20, By the time your child is 18 you will only be 38….You will have plenty of time to get out there and do your thing but put your kids and education first!!!!I cant state this enough.
GET YOU TOGETHER. when we make our bed, we have to lie in it, but all hope is not lost….
I say all of this out of love and experience. Be smart ladies…. Deborrah is the TRUTH.
I am urging all of you ladies to take this article, pass it on, consider what she is saying and take care of your business.
Powerful read. My mother worked for Child Protection for 30 yrs. I know these stories very well. Sad part is there are so many different forms of neglect that no one knows it better than the child being neglected who grows up wondering what the hell is wrong with them. These same folk never learned love and have a hard time giving it, but blame other people. Its a vicious cycle.