When The Children of Single Parents End Up Dead

. 09/21/2011 . 3 Comments

Many young women, so desperate for financial assistance and a break from parenting set themselves up to become victims of guys that demand instant commitment. These types of men proclaim themselves to be in love very early in the relationship and often pursue their victim with a vigor that sweeps her off her feet. Watch out for those that want to move in right away, promising to “help you” with bills you are desperate to pay.

Right now you have no clue about how depressed you will feel being stuck in the house week after week, taking care of a baby, changing smelly diapers and wondering where your new boyfriend or “baby daddy” is tonight. You’ll grow resentful at your responsibilities while your friends are going to college, enjoying parties and fabulous clothes, and creating a future for themselves as educated, influential women. You will be left behind.

 

Make Smart Choices for Yourself

Take a moment and reflect on who you want to be and where you want to go in life. Every young woman can become a shining star and make all her dreams come true! But when you make poor decisions about who you allow to use your womb, you suffer a loss of opportunities and possibilities. When you make impulsive choices without thinking about the repercussions of your actions, your child suffers those repercussions right along with you.

The realization that you have messed up your life and have no one to blame for it but yourself will hit you sooner or later. When that moment arrives, keep your hands to yourself. Shaking, slapping, pinching, punching, body slamming, neglecting or killing your child in frustration and anger are criminal acts. Your baby didn’t ask to be here – you chose to become a single parent when you could have had an abortion.

Right here, right now you have the opportunity to look into the future and make different choices for yourself. Begin by taking the time to plan your life and future goals. Children can be wonderful additions to your life plan, but should always be put AFTER educational accomplishment, career development and fiscal stability. Avoid making choices that will put you on a path to depression, poverty or prison for 25 to life.

There is no need for you to have a baby when you are not married and have no one to help you love, care for and support that child’s growth and development. Children should not just exist, but be born into an environment where their lives are enriched by their parents love and devotion to their success.

Parenting a child is a two-person job best performed by a husband and wife. Why would you accept anything less for yourself or your child?


References

A Coordinated Response to Child Abuse and Neglect: The Foundation for Practice 2003. Author(s): Office on Child Abuse and Neglect (HHS), Washington, DC. Goldman, J., Salus, M. K., Wolcott, D., Kennedy, K. Y.

Child Homicide – Review of Statistics and Studies. June 2004. Dewar Research, Compiled by David J Yarwood (www.dewar4research.org)’

Child Murders by Mothers: Patterns and Prevention. World Psychiatry. 2007 October; 6(3): 137–141. Susan Hatters Friedman and Phillip J. Resnick

Child Welfare Information Gateway, http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/statsinfo/nis3.cfm

Child Welfare Information Gateway. www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/define.cfm

Murder of the Newborn: A Psychiatric Review of Neonaticide. 1970. American Journal of Psychiatry 126(10):1414–1420. Phillip J. Resnick

U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect. 1995. A Nation’s Shame: Fatal Child Abuse and Neglect in the United States. A report of the U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Hustler Magazine. Child Abuse in America: Slaughter of the Innocents. October 1977. James W. Prescott, Ph.D. (http://www.violence.de/prescott/hustler-new/article.html)

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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