Why Don’t Women Talk to a Good Black Man Like Me?

. 08/30/2013 . 8 Comments

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
Some friends and I were having a discussion about how men think when they approach a female. I said men learned that early on girls are not into accepting a genuine heart felt conversation. They only accept conversation from the wrong types of dudes. So I got a question…am I wrong to think that woman go for the wrong types cause they want the bad boy types?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all women, just the ones who want the so called thugs or bad boys and then get mad after they leave.

Then my folk said that women need security. So how you think a good dude don’t offer security? Not every thug is hard and not every good dude is a  punk. So that’s a misconception right there.

Then my folk told me that they not gonna wait for a good dude to finally gather up some courage to talk to them when the no good dudes come with confidence. Really? LOL!!! Not all good dudes scared to talk, cause if that was the case then there wouldn’t be good dudes in messed up situations with bad baby mamas and/or bad girlfriends while the no good dudes sitting at the house using they girls car and chillin’ at their house playing video games.

I think there’s misconceptions everywhere. That’s why I don’t worry about the majority. Why should I worry bout the dudes not doing their jobs when I’m trying to do mine?

Signed,
Twisted Up in the Game

Dear Twisted:
It’s not rocket science and I don’t know why guys don’t get this. There are two issues to be addressed here:

#1 Women are Turned on by Confidence. That is why the players get women and the shy guys that hang back, anticipate rejection, think the woman is too good for them, think she already has a man, thinks she is high maintenance, or think she won’t be interested are the ones that don’t get no play and no pussy. A confident man is not afraid of women. He is not afraid of rejection. He looks people in the eye. It’s in his walk, his carriage, his posture, the way he walks into a room. When a man projects confidence he has no need to be domineering, controlling, or threatening to women.  How do women define confidence? To women the definition of a confident man is one who is positive about who and what he is. A confident male believes in himself. The confident male believes he can be successful and achieve his dreams. He likes who he is and knows he can make things happen.  It’s explained in detail in this broadcast, which you can listen to below.

#2 Women Do Not Like Douches or Jerks. However, if such a guy is the one who approaches a woman, she is more likely to respond positively to him. If you approach a woman and she is not interested in talking to you, it means she is not attracted to you. Point blank, period. You don’t have to be an asshole, a jerk or a thug to get a woman. But it doesn’t matter how much of a “good guy” you perceive yourself to be, she isn’t feeling you!!!

Relationships are as much biological as they are emotional, at least at the beginning. You approached her because your dick got a tingle and you reacted biologically. She didn’t get no tingle so she rejected you. You’re not stirring her. You don’t have that masculine edge that woman is looking for.

When a man is confident he has a certain edge about him, a certain manliness, a stirring air about himself. A lot of the nice guys don’t understand what that is. All I can tell you though is whining about a woman and why doesn’t want you is a turn off. Once a woman is turned off and doesn’t feel that she would want to “mate” with you, she won’t want to be around you.

It’s as simple as that. No need to overthink it.

MsHeartBeat

Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."

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