Dating Tips for Men: How to Dump Proof Your Relationship
See, every time you disappoint your woman, you become a little less of a hero in her eyes. Every time she asks for your assistance and you deny her request, you are abandoning her. And every time you abandon her to “do it herself” a chunk is removed from that “rock” that you have been in her eyes. Every time you lie to her, the trust she has in you dies a little. Every time she wants to talk and be with you, and you totally ignore her until you want sex, your relationship takes a hit.
Little by little, your woman draws away from you emotionally and physically, until one day she realizes that she is no longer in love with you. She is ready to go and you are shocked because in your eyes, women are crazy and she just “suddenly” left you for no reason.
The Difference Between Needing and Neediness
There is a huge difference between a woman that needs you, and a needy woman.
Needy women are clingy, insecure and high maintenance. Not many men choose that type of woman, and we aren’t talking about them.
We are talking about the hard working, together woman you chose because she was smart, funny, strong, independent, hot and sexy, and made you feel really good when you were around her. Though she is fully capable of doing what she does by herself, why should she have to? Why is it so difficult for men to differentiate between a woman that needs you, and a needy woman?
Lazy men love to slap that “independent woman” label on their wife or girlfriend when she asks for help. But dude, you need to be very aware of the slippery slope to singleness you are on with that self-centered attitude.
A true partnership is formed when you have each other’s back. But if you are one of those guys that expects your relationship to always be about you and what you want, demanding to have everything when you want it and how you want it, you need to grow up!
Your woman needs to depend on you to be a kind and thoughtful leader, and to do the right thing as a Super Hero always does. Demonstrate your love for your woman by being willing to go the extra mile to rescue and support her in times of need. When she asks for your help, give it without reservation and without 101 excuses why it isn’t the right thing to do, it isn’t logical or necessary in your opinion. Instead of making weak excuses, get your butt up and get busy helping her; she and your relationship need your assistance.
The smart man holds his woman’s hands, heart and spirit in his with loving tenderness. The smart man, treating his “independent” woman with respect and consideration, easily “dump proofs” his relationship.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Men's Issues
I can’t tell you how many guys I know who fit this pattern — they ignore requests and efforts to save the relationship and go on oblivious until WHAM they are dumped and then they STILL don’t get it!
Dead on Deb!
My ex followed your pattern to the tee! I tried to talk with him calmly about it and NOTHING. He would dismiss my concerns or just walk away. He saw the moving boxes and asked me if I was really moving. Then he just walked away and went upstairs. What the %#&$*? I had already left our bedroom. The last time I saw him he named each and everything that I did for him. He said he missed me. Oh really? I said now tell me what you did for me that would make me miss you. Silence. He told his family he didn’t know why I left.
You said it all with this one! Too bad the men who need to hear it and see it, won’t….