The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely
Black Churches – Full of Foul Frauds and Fiends?
Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females. Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. Who is doing this to Black women? The male standing at the front of the Church in the role of spiritual leader, that’s who!
Black women should abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves, their needs and those of their children than those of Black men or a religion which Black men use to castigate and control an entire race of women.
Single Black Females in Church
Black females have long been considered the backbone of the Black community and the cornerstone of their families and churches. But what is the real price Black women have paid to wear this crown of fool’s gold?
An examination of any congregation of the average Black church shows that single Black females fill the pews. Results of a recent study “African Americans and Religion” by the PEW Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life found that “African Americans are markedly more religious on a variety of measures than the U.S. population as a whole.”
Almost 90% of Black Americans express “absolutely certain belief in God” compared to just over 70% of the total U.S. population. Two other important statistics gleaned from this survey: (1) 80% of Black Americans report that religion is “very important” in their lives as compared to 57% of the general U.S. population; and (2) 55% of Black Americans report that they “interpret scripture literally” as compared to 32% of the general U.S. population.
The PEW study also reported that “Men are significantly more likely than women to claim no religious affiliation. Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation, compared with roughly 13% of women.”
The survey shows a distinct correlation between religion and social attitudes amongst African Americans. “African Americans who are more religiously observant (as defined by frequency of worship service attendance and the importance of religion in their lives), are more likely to oppose abortion and homosexuality, and more likely to report higher levels of conservative ideology.”
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture, The Black Church
I go to church just to hear a different interpretation of the bible than what I might have. Other than that, I don’t socialize with the people there or hang out with them. I arrive after everyone else, and leave before everyone else so I don’t have to talk to them. I don’t think church is “necessary” for spiritual development, but again, I like to hear a different interpretation.
Kwame naej358 “young black boys are highly targeted these day”. Which might be why the church needs the mothers of these boys attending church…… easier access.
RenitaDixon A relationship with God is a personal one, as it is with any living creator. It does not necessarily require a church, a building or other people. I was raised in the church, raised my children in the church but no longer attend or have a need in my elder years for the church or the type of social structure it provides. I agree with the author’s observations. Only one who, like myself has spent a considerable amount of time studying and observing black religiosity could make such a candid and profound analysis of how our churches have limited the progress of the black community, especially as it relates to single and married women in the membership. In one of his most passionate sermons called “A Knock at Midnight”, Dr. Martin Luther King raises several other questions about the social failure of the black church.
naej358 No proof of the existence of Saddam & Gomorrah but their is proof of child molestation which leads to sexual confusion, which leads to homosexuality. Young Black boys are highly targeted these days.
RenitaDixon You are one of those that things church and God are above investigation and reproach. I disagree. Only someone who is NOT indoctrinated in religion would have the courage and understanding of manipulation and games of control to write such an article.
Lastly, if the article were just about YOU, then your perspective and singular focus on yourself and what you do and how you view things and why you go to church would make sense. But we’re not talking about YOU. We’re talking about millions of black women that DO seek love and a husband that is “equally yoked” within their religion, which means within their church. Not sure why you think such a goal is improper. I think it makes total sense. Like if you want someone that enjoys sports, you probably go to sporting events and date those guys. If you want someone that reads, bookstores and book readings/signings/discussions and book clubs would be where you go and date those guys.
I guess I would agree with the article if I attended church in order to find a man. However, I don’t see church as a “dating field.” It’s a place where I can worship God with like minded people. If anyone attends church with any other agenda, I can almost guarantee, they are going to leave frustrated–because that is NOT why church exists. It’s clear you are only familiar with what I have called “fringe-church”, because you have just enough information about church to sound like you know what you are talking about; however, I dare say that if you really understood a relationship with God, this would not have been a viable article to write anyway.
Just Wait Until That Homosexual Demon That Take Root In The Black Community…It’s Going To Do More Damage Than Heroin, Crack And All The Rest Of Those Hard Drugs Combined! It’s Going To WIPE Us OUT!!! I’m Telling You, The Black Church Has Failed Our Community Miserbly…Remember Sodum & Gomorrah!
I have travelled the country extensively(all the lower 48 state) and I will tell all of the black people,
especially blackwomen, that there are No Shortage of blackmen. There seems to be some
concerted effort by the social scientist in this country to release this “propaganda” while encouraging
interracial marriage. Every knows that there has always been more women than men. It may just be
a better idea to put on our thinking caps and look a little deeper at those who are saying this and what
their true motives are!
Clue: Present indications say that there’s a Shortage of Whitemen!
Factoid: There are more blackmen in the Western Hemisphere than whitemen.
Deborrah MichaelMahoney It was my mother and the women of the church who did all the labor, for the Glory of the Pastor. My father stayed home on Sundays, smoked Cigars and watched baseball or football. I did not see any man in church that was marriage material, but I did see a lot of homosexual males who were supposed to be in the closet. Although everyone in the church knew they who they were. Some of the homosexual men (and women), did marry but it was not for love. A lot of these relationships were open, meaning they dated and even had children by other people. I did not feel spiritual connection to the people or what was going on there and still don’t.
Fuzzy Frisson ebonyeyes600 I am a African American Woman who was raised in a Pentecostal Church. I could not wait to get out of that place which condemned people to hell and pointed the finger at everyone (except themselves). I studied other religions and at least got an understanding that Christianity has no monopoly on God and going to church does not make you Godly. Christ is supposed to be the Peacemaker and Emancipator, and that is not reflected in America a so called Christian Nation. In fact once Christianity was co-opted they started killing or converting people to Christianity. They used the Bible to keep black folks enslaved and then granted us permission to be Christians. But Europe’s Christianity is like the cross Hitler used, which is the opposite of what it intended to be. The Egyptians were the originators of Christianity, and still have Coptic Churches. The Romans wrote twisted the Religion to fit their beliefs and hid verses like, Melchizedek, (the Magician), to keep people from having their own power. The Jews took these religious practices with them when they migrated to Israel. The Inquisition was carried out in Europe to convert people to Christianity and the burned people at the stakes who were non believers. Europeans used the Bible to justify killing Natives and stealing their land, and enslaving Africans. I was at my sisters church (which is diverse), and a basket was passed. I wanted to get change and the man who passed the basket told me not to touch the money. I looked at him and saw nothing but the Devil who was ready to jump on me for trying to get change out of the offering basket. My church and sanctuary is my home where I pray and keep myself spiritually fit. When I go out into the World I have compassion and understanding for those I see, and believe that the lowest amongst us have a place in the hereafter. That is all of the Church I need!
I never get mad when people use to term Xtian or Xmas
It is just SHORTHAND for CHRIST or the greek IXOYE
Regarding the Tithe:
when women or others tithe to the church, they are giving to GOD– and HE will judge the pastor in what he does, and it may not be pretty–my daughter is also only just a teen, and an adequate tither. She has actually seen the LORD move in her life since she started tithing
She was only getting a few days of work UNTIL she gave a tithe and is trusting GOD with her finances–in fact PASTORS need ot TITHE TOO to their neighborhoods, with help, money, food, etc.
sometimes, what many black women are into is CHURCHIANITY and not CHRISTIANITY==there could be a big difference sometimes. In other churches, or churches with a black pastor BUT intergrated would be better
‘black churches’ yield ‘no fruit’ or else we would’nt be in the place we are in at this time–too many out of wedlock children, along with 1/3 of all abortions—sometimes, many black women go to these churches is because of the worship styles–the pastor getting ‘wound up’ with his whooping (and musicians joining in), which a black pastor at an intergrated church just wont do==(ive heard some white pastors in ‘all white churches do similar—couldn’t believe it until ive seen it on youtube=except they don’t have the musicians like the organist punctuating)
gralan02 Deborrah Penguina It’s done. Brief history is there. Find out more at http://www.womenpraymenprey.com
Deborrah Penguina
Dear Deborrah,
The church that we blackpeople have been under for centuries in this country was not founded by us. We have been under this institutions so long that very few of us can see that is had now gone even more horrible wrong. Write you book and make sure that they true history of this church is revealed. There is so much that the blackpeople in America don’t know about how the church was really founded.