The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely
Black Churches – Full of Foul Frauds and Fiends?
Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females. Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. Who is doing this to Black women? The male standing at the front of the Church in the role of spiritual leader, that’s who!
Black women should abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves, their needs and those of their children than those of Black men or a religion which Black men use to castigate and control an entire race of women.
Single Black Females in Church
Black females have long been considered the backbone of the Black community and the cornerstone of their families and churches. But what is the real price Black women have paid to wear this crown of fool’s gold?
An examination of any congregation of the average Black church shows that single Black females fill the pews. Results of a recent study “African Americans and Religion” by the PEW Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life found that “African Americans are markedly more religious on a variety of measures than the U.S. population as a whole.”
Almost 90% of Black Americans express “absolutely certain belief in God” compared to just over 70% of the total U.S. population. Two other important statistics gleaned from this survey: (1) 80% of Black Americans report that religion is “very important” in their lives as compared to 57% of the general U.S. population; and (2) 55% of Black Americans report that they “interpret scripture literally” as compared to 32% of the general U.S. population.
The PEW study also reported that “Men are significantly more likely than women to claim no religious affiliation. Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation, compared with roughly 13% of women.”
The survey shows a distinct correlation between religion and social attitudes amongst African Americans. “African Americans who are more religiously observant (as defined by frequency of worship service attendance and the importance of religion in their lives), are more likely to oppose abortion and homosexuality, and more likely to report higher levels of conservative ideology.”
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture, The Black Church
Spiritual But Not Religious. This is a choice I made after being raised for my entire childhood inside a black baptist church.
This is about the black church as it relates to black men and black women. On that subject I’ll say that if only I could ever find a black woman who was also a spiritual person without having to have it validated by some church,
I’d Try Real Hard to pursue a relationship.
naej358 You right the Devil has put it in nice package and called it Gay’ but they know it wrong’
Deborrah RenitaDixon What you say is true I met a nice lady and we seem to get along good. Until I went to the Church she belong to. This so-call man of God only preach about he’s going to leave you” He didn’t preach the bible at all just what his thoughts for that day was.I could see he was a fake/pimp/ just good with his words and that church had over 600-700 people following him not the word of god.
The black Church is tells the women of the certain church don’t date him” He’s going to leave you” The paster’s of wants all the women to be under him.And not a husband and if she do pick a guy the Paster if he don’t like the man he tells her lies in order to to control her. What is the matter with Black women in the Church they began looking the Paster as he was a God.
RenitaDixon
So church is just a social club for christians? How is that different from any other social club? In other words, what does church offer me that I can’t find anywhere else or in any other religion?
While I do agree with many of the things that Denorah spoke about today on the radio in regards to her book and the state of the “black church”. I do not agree that someone who hasn’t been to church since she was seven years old is qualified to dictate the a shepards position is and should be in regards to the flock. No way!
I truly enjoyed speaking with her but, that didn’t sit very well with me.
That’s fine that you have an opinion. Doesn’t change mine. I don’t need to be a crackhead to dictate that smoking crack doesn’t make sense and that drug dealers are bad people. Your logic is exactly the same thinking, and it makes no sense. A thinking person like myself with an analytical brain sees patterns, and I can read extremely well and I can research like a champ. Which means I don’t need to sit my butt up in a church to learn about what a PROPER pastor’s duties are. There are manuals on how to pastor at the library, senior pastors of progressive churches that ARE doing the right thing that one can talk to, and religious texts as well. All of these resources are freely available to anyone who seeks the knowledge. Your implication is that the ONLY WAY one can learn these things is to be there in church. I totally disagree.
Deborrah Women under 30 are also more likely to date interracially than women over 50, giving them more options.
Deborrah Not sure that you’ve been around long enough to make such an
assessment. I recall that most of the blackmen who went Vietnam were poor
and uneducated
Ree74 gralan02 Yes Ree74, I’ve heard this from many single fathers I know.
I have noticed they meet eligible women with children but just can’t find a meeting
of the mind and situation.
Deborrah RenitaDixon I am a Christian woman and I agree with Deborrah. Renita Dixon you have to ask yourself why every other faith ,non faith or religion emphasises on getting married or finding love. Even in the Bible God said its not good to be alone. What is going on in the churches is not healthy nor is it of God. It is not fair what these leaders have done brainwashing women having them under mind control. The pastors should be encouraging women of marriageble age to get out there look their best and find love.
500 years of Christian and the Bible interference and falsehood has proven to be a failed policy. In the case of Islam, 1500 years. We are a Gullible people. I am embarrassed.
gralan02 You have to consider however that black men are often DISCOURAGED from marrying anyone and you will often hear black men in their 30’s and 40’s with children who will tell you they will never marry.
Your numbers are wrong. At this juncture there are more men than women in the under 30 age group. So all those young women looking for husbands will have their pick. It’s only amongst the baby boomer generation that there are more women than men primarily because of the Vietnam war draft. To me that is why there is an increase in genetic problems in children — the healthy prime males got shipped off to war and died, and the rejects stayed and fathered children, passing their defective genes on.
BAMMM! And there it is.