The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely
Black Churches – Full of Foul Frauds and Fiends?
Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females. Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. Who is doing this to Black women? The male standing at the front of the Church in the role of spiritual leader, that’s who!
Black women should abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves, their needs and those of their children than those of Black men or a religion which Black men use to castigate and control an entire race of women.
Single Black Females in Church
Black females have long been considered the backbone of the Black community and the cornerstone of their families and churches. But what is the real price Black women have paid to wear this crown of fool’s gold?
An examination of any congregation of the average Black church shows that single Black females fill the pews. Results of a recent study “African Americans and Religion” by the PEW Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life found that “African Americans are markedly more religious on a variety of measures than the U.S. population as a whole.”
Almost 90% of Black Americans express “absolutely certain belief in God” compared to just over 70% of the total U.S. population. Two other important statistics gleaned from this survey: (1) 80% of Black Americans report that religion is “very important” in their lives as compared to 57% of the general U.S. population; and (2) 55% of Black Americans report that they “interpret scripture literally” as compared to 32% of the general U.S. population.
The PEW study also reported that “Men are significantly more likely than women to claim no religious affiliation. Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation, compared with roughly 13% of women.”
The survey shows a distinct correlation between religion and social attitudes amongst African Americans. “African Americans who are more religiously observant (as defined by frequency of worship service attendance and the importance of religion in their lives), are more likely to oppose abortion and homosexuality, and more likely to report higher levels of conservative ideology.”
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture, The Black Church
That is true ,you just made my point…
The bible clearly says in Psalms 82:6 that Ye are all Gods. And in John 10:34 Jesus confirms that you are a God. Ppl take the bible literally which was a man made book used to enslave and brainwash our ancestors. This book is powerful and dangerous at the same time it can be used to uplift ppl but yet control ppl. She is a God only the slavemasters want us to believe that we are not that powerful. Why do you think they didn’t want spaces to read or learn to write or read? Why do you think the slaves that were the most rebellious knew how to read??? They beat and engraved the bible into our ancestors, killed them and their children, slashed their pregnant stomachs and stomped on the fetuses in front of the other slaves while quoting bible scriptures. Slavery is deep and now ppls minds are enslaved!!! These single black women and the ones forcing these men to go to church are mentally ill without being diagnosed. The church is powerful with the money it makes. I know that everything in this article she is saying is true. I have seen women willing to marry any man BC they believe that is all they are good for. My mother got married 6 times to men in and out he church and she tried to make them listen to that man in the pulpit that’s why none of her marriages lasted. She is a fanatical insatiable pious Christian woman who thinks her job is to rebuke demons and she believes she can see everyone’s spirits except for the ones she is battling. She abused her kids and she married and slept with married men. Then when you talk about she acts as if nothing ever happened like she can’t do no wrong. There is something seriously wrong here and if you speak about hypocrisy in the church they attack you worse than a gang of crips and bloods will. It’s scary how many ppl are mentally ill and are fucking up their families BC they are not in touch with who they really and their true spirit. They attack Oprah and Beyonce strong powerful wealthy women who are living the lives of their dreams and are using their millions to save lives and help poor children. These women sit on their asses all day quoting bible scriptures and eating unhealthy food not taking care of their bodies and gets jealous of every beautiful money making woman they see. They put the Pastor before themselves and they own damn kids. They praise and idolize Gods more than Florida from good times with that picture of white Jesus she used to idolize, and that is why they NEVER made it out the hood and these women are the same way. They are only hurting themselves I ignore them and I am so glad I woke up and realized that the church life and brainwashing just isn’t for me. I know I can move mountains and with faith all my dreams will come true I don’t need a man telling me that. I have a beautiful child and a wonderful man that is father of my child and we are spiritual. We listen to Rev. Ike on YouTube BC he is positive and he talks about wealth and health and that is it. We love our lives!!!! It’s stress free and brainwash free!!!
true
blackcaesar MagnoliaWillis Deborrah doesn’t need to go see a fictional movie to make any sort of determinations about real life. Where I might choose to live NOW has no bearing on the fact that I grew up and lived around black folks for decades. I have had enough of niggerish behavior and hell yeah I moved away from yall.
I was born and will die a black woman. Because I choose to remove my teenaged daughter from the cat calling street harassment, the groping, lewd language and violence of black males doesn’t make me any less black. I don’t want my child to be subjected to the disgusting pedophilic behavior of older black men in Oakland so hell yeah I moved her the hell away from the likes of you. Believe me I would tear you a new one and make you wish you were at home with your mommy any time I got ready. But I’m not trying to go to prison behind some knucklehead.
Lastly this article is five years old. You all are super late. However, looking at Creflo, Eddie and all the rest of these clowns with their violent, money hoarding, pedophilic behavior, my words about black pastors PREYING on the congregation ring truer than ever.
We find it more important to be in church than anyone else, yet are the least likely to have a father in the house.
sonofcharles1 Has it ever occurred to you that some of these Black men are downlow, bisexual and opportunistic? And just exactly how would interracial relationships or marriage help to resolve this problem? It’s a global issue surrounding patriarchy. If you think Black men have poor quality relationships, spend a year in Pakistan, India or better yet live with the Taliban in Afghanistan. Get rid of patriarchy and religion will follow.
Iseenthechanges this could be why much of the ‘praise & worship” ‘could’ be for him instead of HIM
I agree with NaronMccormick why would I marry a woman who listens to two men her husband who want her just to love him instead the Man standing in front of folks trying to tell her this how your family should be. And most of the women are still dating having sex without marriage ‘but hiding it. I don’t think the black women of the church should look for approval from the pastor who she picks as a husband or she never get’s married to no one. It’s called control & brainwashing. Because men infront of the church stands in way if he can’t control the husband too. So these pastors brainwash the women better stay by your self. And there’s no need for loving another man “because I am here Love Me” Black women starts looking as “this man infront of church as a GOD.
bnak Who cares what you think? The church hasn’t changed one iota in 500 bazillion years. The church is a business, and its goal is to have control over its “customers”, keep them coming back for more, and to make a profit. Just like any other business. Nothing about the church has changed since I went last. If that were the case then we wouldn’t have sex scandals and pilferage, cheating and lying, and all the other horrific things that go on in black churches. If anything with the advent of the Mega Church, things have gotten WORSE.
ArthurDanielsJr Penguina ,,,Yes you two are on it. I love it when a man can get someone together who has a strong point but often a slightly flawed point. It is truly about which church you go to and your motive for being there….Just like deceptions can give a 80% truth it is that 20% of research that will cause people to jump on a bandwagon without really researching the true fact that are causing these issues. Yes many people have slave mentalities but you don’t escape that by not going to “a church” because if you work in any corporate office or an extension of one you are 10/10 being treated the same way and not often sophisticated enough to see it or powerless to do anything about it. If the Son sets you free, you’ll be free indeed…John 8:36 of the curse brought on the whole world in Genesis to till the ground.
One key is knowing why you’re there or anywhere in the first place. Any tilt in a reason outside of that will put you on that broad path that some people will take whether they are inside and outside of church..The question is: WHO WILL YOU TILL THE GROUND FOR? You will do it for someone as long as you live here?…
YOUR MOTIVES…YOUR AGENDA….YOUR MIND YOUR HEART…It always comes down to this…This is the truth if you are in church…if you are in public. And what’s more is Jesus taught this and bashed many religious leaders because they knew this but found it more beneficial for themselves to start what is really a mini sacrilege church by bashing, controlling, and influencing the masses with their bitterness, their frustrations, their political and religious and sometimes even non religious platforms (the slave woman with the psychic powers… (acts 16:16)
http://www.netplaces.com/women-of-the-bible/women-who-prophesied/slave-girl-soothsayer-of-philippi.htm
Are you serious or were you being sarcastic. The death of black folk will be a further breakdown of the family. The greatest threat to black folk is heterosexual men who want to sleep around and get married and have kids with no intention of being loving, nurturing and responsible. I have seen a lot of marriages break up but I never seen a family man run off to be with another man. Leave the gay folk alone and focus on the real issues effecting us.
I completely agree with the author. Someone needs to ask why is it that blacks are married in lower numbers and many married couples have poor quality relationships. The literalist view that the black church takes of the scriptures sets up the perfect breeding ground for marriage relationships that are adversarial instead of symbiotic. The man thinks that he has a door mat and often quickly makes the sister wish that she was single again. Some men believe that they own their wives. It is not uncommon for men with such a mind set to resort to violence or coercion to get what they feel is rightfully theirs’. I have seen such scenarios over the past several years. The church needs to understand that it is part of the problem. Sisters need to also open their minds to possible interracial marriage . Unfortunately, some people lack the capacity to have a successful happy marriage.