The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely
Black Churches – Full of Foul Frauds and Fiends?
Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females. Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. Who is doing this to Black women? The male standing at the front of the Church in the role of spiritual leader, that’s who!
Black women should abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves, their needs and those of their children than those of Black men or a religion which Black men use to castigate and control an entire race of women.
Single Black Females in Church
Black females have long been considered the backbone of the Black community and the cornerstone of their families and churches. But what is the real price Black women have paid to wear this crown of fool’s gold?
An examination of any congregation of the average Black church shows that single Black females fill the pews. Results of a recent study “African Americans and Religion” by the PEW Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life found that “African Americans are markedly more religious on a variety of measures than the U.S. population as a whole.”
Almost 90% of Black Americans express “absolutely certain belief in God” compared to just over 70% of the total U.S. population. Two other important statistics gleaned from this survey: (1) 80% of Black Americans report that religion is “very important” in their lives as compared to 57% of the general U.S. population; and (2) 55% of Black Americans report that they “interpret scripture literally” as compared to 32% of the general U.S. population.
The PEW study also reported that “Men are significantly more likely than women to claim no religious affiliation. Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation, compared with roughly 13% of women.”
The survey shows a distinct correlation between religion and social attitudes amongst African Americans. “African Americans who are more religiously observant (as defined by frequency of worship service attendance and the importance of religion in their lives), are more likely to oppose abortion and homosexuality, and more likely to report higher levels of conservative ideology.”
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture, The Black Church
As an outsider looking in,
I have to say that ALL KINDS OF CHRISTIAN CHURCHES (Black, White, Hispanic, African, Indian, Arab etc.) are keeping women from meeting responsible men to be their husbands. This is because, for some reason, the kindest and most considerate men are found in the big bad world, and not in the church per se. I mean, look at jackass White pastors like Steven Anderson and Mark Driscoll. Don’t you just pity their poor wives?
At the Quiverfull end,
look at the unscrupulous Geoff Botkin who is literally keeping his beautiful (and now 30-something year old) single daughters Anna Sofia and Elizabeth from finding husbands because he wants to keep enjoying the money they earn by hectoring fellow women while touring ‘Quiverfull’ circuits and writing books which tell women how to be nothing and like it. Daddy Botkin insists that his daughters are his property, and he is their “rightful authority.”
For some reason, the Church keeps attracting psychotic men who belong to the madhouse. So yes, all races of Christian women will keep reaping the wrong stuff as long as they keep looking for husbands inside the church. Don’t be fooled by statistics, this is happening everywhere and not just in the Black church. It just serves racist agendas to portray it as being primarily a problem in the Black community.
With that being said,
Black women have to start listening to and taking the advice freely offered by real counselors to learn how to overcome problems that they have developed as a result of a wounded childhood. Once a man or woman manages to overcome emotional repression (which I have noticed is everywhere in the Black community due to individual
childhood suffering on top of intergenerational trauma), he or she will naturally attract emotionally healthy partners with little to no effort. This will also keep single ladies from attracting narcissists due to unhealthy beliefs about themselves.
TD Jakes is NOT where its at, ladies!