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Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

Deborrah | 08/18/2010 | Comments (22)

For some reason, Black men seem to feel a woman who describes herself as “a feminist” is a male basher that hates men. To these fellows, a woman who would dare upset the well established imbalance of power by requesting an equal share, respect and opportunities for females is viewed as someone whose goal is to destroy the Black family, and Black men in particular. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Taking a stand against male oppression and fighting for women to have the right to make choices for her own life does not mean that such a woman is against you. Being pro-woman does not mean that one is anti-male.

According to the dictionary, feminism is “the movement for the full social, political and economic equality of all people.” When viewed in those terms, how could any decent man be against the feminist movement?

An English professor wrote the words: “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate the phrase correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

And this my dear readers, is the chief motivation behind my quest to raise awareness amongst men about their deeply ingrained sense of entitlement and superiority to women. Men have this belief for no reason other than they have a clitoris that is a little bigger than ours, and ovaries on the outside of their body.

For thousands of years, society has been constructed to place men in a position of superiority over women. By placing themselves in the power position, men have conveniently had things their way for generations.

Men have been judge, jury, and executioner (with the right to decide what is right and wrong when it comes to women) for generations! Men will of course resist and resent any female that would have the gall to say that the old way ain’t benefitting her, thus she has no interest in participating in their system.

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Tags: black feminism, black men and marriage, dating advice for women, female equality, feminism and the black woman, feminist movement, mens rights movement, misogynistic men

Category: Society and Culture

About Deborrah: Dating advice columnist on AskHeartBeat.Com and Examiner.Com; hosts the Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show on BlogTalkRadio every Sunday evening at 5:30 pm (PST). She is the author of hundreds of articles on dating and relationships, and penned the Best Black Books of 2007 award-winning guide to modern dating "Sucka Free Love! How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged." Sucka Free Love is a hilarious, street smart examination of the mistakes singles make in relationships - find it on Amazon.Com. View author profile.

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It would take me a month to comment on all that is here. Cooper's article is poorly reasoned. She fails to cite a single so called "quote" or even to tell us whom the radio interview was with so we could check the veracity of her quotes or the context of them.

Maybe more important is the fact she would write such an article with such an angry tone, and write such errors in fact and logic based one a single interview with a single man; even if that interview took place exactly as she portrays it. [However, without the subjects name, the interviewers name, or the broadcast date, we have no way to know if it even took place, much less if it took place as she describes]. If we assume she listened without bias, and it took place exactly as Cooper describes, then we must ask ourselves how much of what this one man said is actually the common view of the modern black man.

Her bias is obvious, and while I could enumerate literally dozens of such logical fallacies, let us look at just one such ad hock attack. She states that BLACK MEN are irresponsible for using crack while leaving black women to take care of the children. I have been a volunteer in a children’s shelter and I can assure you that far more often than not, when the father is a crack user, so is the woman. And while the child is living in the woman’s home, that is a point only of geography as women on crack rarely take care of their children either.

If there is a case where either the man or the woman is not on crack while the other is, then the non-user must be viewed in the most suspect perspective. What kind of fool would have sexual relations with a drug addict? Therefore, I give no quarter to either party in such circumstances. I have looked many parents in the face as they complain about the behavior of the child’s other parent and said, “You chose to get into a relationship with such a person, you chose to have sex with such a person, you chose not to use condoms or birth control with such a person. Unfortunately it is YOUR poor choices that your child must now pay for.”

The 17 comments that I read are equally disappointing.

To Blackinjun (8/22/2010)
African women were just as oppressed - or even more so in many cases - than European women - or Asian women for that matter, or natives from the Americas. One can also cite some exceptions on almost every continent as well, though those exceptions are painfully rare. And while the gender hierarchy usually placed men “above” women, this was largely a survival advantage for women until the industrial revolution. So, most likely, the hierarchy was largely advantageous to women - especially women not of nobility - until the industrial revolution.

To Renee Moore (9/24/2010)
You should not feel singled out because you had a child and were rejected for it. It is a survival instinct that often keeps people from wanting to date people with children. After all, dating leads to marriage which means that person will be supporting someone else’s child. And while we all like to think of ourselves as progressive and talk about how noble it is to take on children that are not ours, many people will not actually live up to those ideals when it is their time and money that they have to take from their own children [or future children] to support someone else’s.

My wife left me when my children were 6 months and 2 years old. I raised them. I cannot tell you how many women were interested in me, even stating why they could not understand how such a man could be single. When I told them I had children, no problem. When I told them I was the custodial parent, the date was often finished within FIVE MINUTES. When calling these ladies later on, the same women who called me “wonderful” five minutes before a date ended, could not find the time to even catch a lunch date later.

You just have to realize that it is not you, but instinct and realize you need to find someone that rises above that instinct. It is simply one of the conditions you have to accept when you become a single parent.

To Anwar Amir Isreal (12/20/2010) [Isreal = Is Real or Israel?]
“The reason being is the Black Man [is,] by nature[,] biologically the most dominant being genetically [sic] on the planet”.

Anwar, I don’t know where you get this idea - or maybe I don’t understand your concept of “dominant”. ‘Dependency theory’ claims that Europeans have dominated Africans from the dawn of colonialism to this day. Others would argue that the Mongol hoards that came west to dominate most of Asia and parts of Europe [including Russia and Ukraine] would trump that. So then how do you support such a claim? Do you think black men dominate their wives more so than other races? I doubt it. But if you think so then you should tell us why you think so.

Also, even if you think that is true, does that justify the injustice done to women who are dominated by these men? The Japanese used that same argument to justify their atrocities against the Chinese in World War II and the white slave owners used it to justify the enslavements of blacks in North America. Maybe you should reconsider your comments.

To Raz (12/20/2010)
Who says “Biology has nothing to do with it”.

Oh on the contrary! You’re probably enjoined with Cooper as she states, “ ...no reason other than men have a clitoris a little bigger than ours, and ovaries on the outside of their body [sic]”.

First, if something that is well over 300 times by weight larger than the other is “a little”, then we certainly have a good gage on one’s perspective here. But there is much more to the difference than size and location. The ovaries and testes produce mood and behavior altering hormones of different types and quantities. The method of gamete (sex cell) reproduction is dramatically different. For one, the ovaries do not produce any gametes after the female is born, it only releases the cells produced before a woman is born. The testes produce sperm all during life and for about 30 hours after the end of life. The gamete production number difference is astonishing. The testes will produce more sperm in a few minutes than the ovaries will produce in the entire life of a woman. Even that location difference is done for a biological purpose. (To reduce heat in order to increase production).
But, that is just the reproductive aspect. Sexual differences alter the way men and women process thoughts, how their bodies handle movement and balance, and a myriad of other things.

Almost all of one sex’s advantages are offset by an associated disadvantage. For example it is a well known fact that, pound for pound, men can lift more weight than women. The price is flexibility. There are positions women can take and moves they can perform that are impossible even for the most flexible man. In fact, that is the very reason they are not as “strong”. The bones and muscular connections give one sex leverage while giving the other articulation.

The same is true for thought processes. As a group women are verbally more articulate and tend to be better writers, men are stronger with math. Also notice how a typical man reads a map oriented in one direction while women tend to turn maps oriented in the direction of travel. These differences do not demonstrate a difference in intelligence but a difference in the way information is processed.

The point is people do not need to be the same to be equal. Our differences are what give us our value and thus equality does not demand homogeneity, in fact the reverse seems to be true. [Yet another area where Cooper seems to resent any claim that women may enjoy certain advantages both in modern and traditional society].

To Anwar Amir Isreal (12/20/2010)
“Why is it that all cultures of every race have always had a king having multiple wives[,] but no culture ever had legal societal accepted [sic] females marrying multiple males at the same time”?

Anwar, you could not be more wrong. When men have multiple wives it is called polygamy. When women marry multiple husbands it is called polyandry. While polygamy is much more common than polyandry, there are many societies across several continents that accepted polyandry. To name just a few: some cultures in Tibet [Asia], some of the native cultures in the arctic regions of North America, (in fact courts in Saskatchewan recognize them), the Maasai people of Kenya [Africa], are just a sample.

These are the types of claims that drive me nuts. If someone has not heard of it then it could not have happened. All of these comments and yet it seems few have even bother do a simple Google search to see if these ideas have any basis in fact whatsoever.

This long comment only scratch the surface of the factual errors and false assumptions throughout the Cooper essay and the subsequent comments.

We should remember men and women bring a different set of abilities and skills to the table. We should celebrate the differences not separate ourselves by them, nor convince ourselves there are no differences between us at all beyond the “size of our clitoris” [Cooper].

Was I a great mother to my children? NO! At best I was a mediocre mother but possibly a great father to my son and daughter. Sure they had great grades and got scholarships to some of the nations best universities. Sure they did not get into trouble with the law. But I can see the price they paid for not having a mother. I see the longing for that feminine touch, just as I see that longing for the masculine touch in homes that have no man in it.

My ex-wife was a woman who abandoned her own children, yet I do not tell my children it was her fault. I chose to have a relationship with her. As such I am as much to blame as Cooper’s woman who had kids with the crack addict. It seems the only thing that separates me from her (the crack mom) is that I accept my responsibility for it [and thus empower myself to change the course of my destiny and that of my children] while that woman blames only that addicted man for her problems and thus is highly likely to repeat her mistake.

We seek to have others understand us, but what chance do we have of it if we can’t start to understand our own race, our own sex, or even our own selves? What hope do we have to improve our lives if we can’t take any responsibility for our own decisions? What good is it to react emotionally to the unnamed radio interview subject, no matter how Neanderthal he may be, if all we do is justify our own failings in the process?

Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

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