You’re Either Part of the Solution, Or Part of the Problem

| 06/16/2009 | Comments (0)

“What we’re saying today is that you’re either part of
the solution or you’re part of the problem.”

 Eldridge Cleaver,
Speech in San Francisco, 1968


Having problems leaving a bad relationship behind?  Do you say to yourself “I can’t leave because I love him!”  Having problems getting over an abusive, controlling ex?  Do you say to yourself “I can’t get over him, because I still love him!”  Have you found yourself going against your morals and values to please a man?  Do you say to yourself “I have to do this because I don’t want to lose him!”  Are you having problems motivating yourself to get out and date after a messy divorce?  Do you say to yourself “I can’t find anyone that I like… all the good ones are taken!!”

Want to know whose fault it is that you can’t get over your ex, can’t get out of the awful relationship, and can’t meet anyone that you like?

Look in the mirror; the woman staring back at you whining about what she “can’t” do is the culprit!

I just hate it when people whine about what they “can’t” do!!  Just hearing some woman make statement makes me want to slap the taste right out of her mouth.  You are an allegedly grown woman, right?  Why are you acting like a weak minded fool?

If you “can’t” control your own behavior, your own thoughts, your own mind, your own actions, or your own mouth, then who are you allowing to do it?  And why?

And if you “can’t” stop thinking about something dumb, “can’t” stop doing things that are hurting yourself or others (like dating married men, or wasting your time and energy longing for someone that cannot stand your butt!), “can’t” motivitate yourself to change (like stop eating donuts and fast food when your blood pressure is off the chart and your belly enters a room longggggg before you do!), then what good are you?

Your mantra must become “I CAN AND I WILL!”  

As long as you believe you “can’t” do anything to change your life or behavior, you will always be lost, confused and viewed as less than intelligent.  Wait, forget that polite stuff.  Flatly, both men and women are gonna look at your behavior and say to themselves “wow, what a dumbass!”

As long as the cop out excuse of “can’t” is acceptable to you, the world will see you as a woman with no confidence, no discipline, no self-control and low self-esteem.  In other words, if you give yourself negative messages of failure, and constantly tell yourself what you “can’t” do, you are a loser!  

Your mantra must become “I CAN AND I WILL!”  

We possess the power of The Universe and can manifest unbelievable power and energy and make all of our dreams come true. But dreams cannot come true if you don’t have any!  Dreams cannot come true if you are too afraid to dream!  

Your mantra must become “I CAN AND I WILL!”  

Fear is epidemic in our society.  I’ve never seen so many scary ass people!   Millions of people sit on the bench in the game of life, holding onto their  fears of success like a security blanket while telling themselves over and over again what they  “can’t” accomplish, “can’t” change, “can’t” become or “can’t” try for fear of failure.  

There is no reason to fear change and growth!  With growth and change come new experiences, new joys, and exciting new achievements.  If you keep doing things in the fearful manner that you are doing them now, you will never achieve greatness.  Ya gotta get on the field knowing you could lose, and give the game all you got to have a chance at winning! 

If you are not moving forward in life, not getting what you want in your relationships, not finding joy and excitement in your existence, realize that you are the problem. And within you lies the solution.

Your mantra must become “I CAN AND I WILL!”  


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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Women's Issues

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