Seven Dumb Things Women Tell Each Other About Men and Relationships

. 11/20/2011 . 17 Comments

Over the years I’ve noticed a repetitive pattern in female to female communications about men and relationships. The “advice” that some women share is negative, self-defeating, and more conducive to eliminating female power in favor of empowering males. Sadly, even as we go into 2011, there are a shocking number of women that believe their lives and they themselves are nothing without a man by their side. These women are willing to sacrifice everything they have, including their bodies, dignity and self-respect, to get or keep a man. For these ladies there is no interest in creating balanced romantic relationships between men and women.

If you have friends or family members that have expressed any of these dangerous attitudes in the past, you should immediately eliminate them from your circle of influence. Low self-esteem is, in my opinion, epidemic amongst females in the United States. Belief systems such as those expressed below do nothing to change that sad statistic.

Low self esteem is the magnet which draws women to be or stay in unrewarding, unhealthy and even abusive relationships with men. Low self esteem makes you prefer feeling lonely, taken for granted, and nursing emotional or physical bruises to being single. For women like these, being single is the worst thing they can imagine, thus being bruised and hurt is seen as the lesser of two evils.

  1. When He is Jealous, It Means He Cares About You. “Girl I wish my man cared about me like that. He is concerned about you girl. Some of these men don’t even care!” This one is designed to make a woman that feels uncomfortable about how her man reacts to a perceived threat okay with it. Key word here is “perceived” because men that are overly jealous see a threat in every face, in every action, and in everything you wear. Their goal is not to feel less jealous, but to get control. It may start small – with judgmental critical comments about your clothing, your friends, or your makeup. If you are out with your friends or alone, he calls often to “make sure you’re okay,” but what he is really doing is keeping tabs. Most jealous men become abusive, then blame you for “making me jealous.” If your man is acting a jealous fool, demand that he stop acting silly and grow up. Do not feed into it or try to coddle or reassure him. Make sure he understands that his jealousy will cause you to end the relationship. Never believe that his ridiculously jealous reaction means he cares more about you than a man that does not express such sentiments. All it really means is that your man is extremely insecure about himself and most likely has low self esteem.Two teens discuss a pending birth
  2. If You Get Pregnant For Him, It Shows How Much You Love Him. This is about the silliest mess ever. Why women believe that it is necessary to sacrifice their bodies, their time, their lives and futures to show some jack leg man how much he is loved is beyond my understanding. A baby is not a tool to use to control a man’s whereabouts or to secure a commitment.  Look around! Men leave women that are pregnant with their child or that already have a child by them every day of the week! Bottom line ladies, it is not a woman’s responsibility to show a man how much she loves him – it is his responsibility to prove to you that he deserves to have your love. . Children should only become a part of a relationship when HE has shown YOU how much HE LOVES YOU! If a man refuses to marry and legitimize his offspring, the privilege of fatherhood should be denied him without question. For more information read the article “Don’t Be Stupid by Falling for the Baby Momma Okey Doke.”
  3. Be Freaktastic in Bed… That’s How You Get and Keep a Man. A belief in this nonsense reduces men to nothing but a penis and women to empty vessels good for nothing but sex. Though many men are certainly only after sex from as many women as they can get it, you will never “get” nor “keep” a man by having sex with him. A woman should never expect that having sex with a man will guarantee that you get up the next morning with a committed relationship. Men fall in love with women that tell them “no sex before commitment or marriage” all the time! Reality here is that no matter what kind of porn star moves you do, if a man is not into you emotionally, he won’t be with you for one second longer than it takes to satisfy his sexual needs. Ignore any woman stupid enough to think sex alone will make a man fall in love with you and stay by your side. It hasn’t worked in 2000 years, and it won’t work today either.
  4. If You Don’t Do It For Him, Some Other Bitch Will! Women make these statements to create a sense of desperation and an environment of anxious fear for other women. Females that believe this nonsense have the lowest self esteem of any group, as they bend and fold themselves into pretzels with the goal of pleasing and keeping the attentions of a man. He will continue to ask you to do more and more, pushing the envelope ever further just because he can. Until you draw the line and establish boundaries and limits, there are men that will take you down as low as they can. When you sacrifice who and what you are to please others you will eventually feel lost, confused and deeply ashamed. A woman must never allow herself to be threatened or coerced into any type of relationship, behavior or sex act that she is not completely comfortable with. Honoring yourself means that you behave in ways that elevate your spirit and pride in yourself. You should never behave in ways that cause you to feel embarrassment, humiliation or shame in an effort to please a man or keep him from leaving. If he wants to go, he is eventually going to go anyway, no matter what you do.
  5. Be Happy – At Least You Got a Man! Women usually hear this one when they are concerned about how they are being treated by the man in their life and they turn to friends or family for advice. Many women have been socialized to believe that no matter how educated or accomplished they are socially or professionally, they are still considered unsuccessful as a woman because they are single. So what she will hear as advice is “Girl a piece of a man is better than no man at all, stop complaining because he doesn’t make you happy. At least you got a man!” This statement is said with the conviction that having a man should be considered the sole and most important goal for a woman’s life. These women encourage other women to stay in miserable relationships and sacrifice their spirit and very soul just to maintain the alliance, as if this man is a prize stallion instead of a loser. Such women never focus on the male’s character, integrity, morals and values, or devoted respect for his woman – the things that make women happiest in their relationships in the long run.

    (Continued on page 2)

    Deborrah

    Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

    More Posts - Website

    Follow Me:
    TwitterFacebookPinterestGoogle PlusFlickrYouTubeReddit

    Pages: 1 2

    Tags: , , , , , ,

    Category: Women's Issues


Fatal error: Uncaught Exception: 190: Error validating application. Application has been deleted. (190) thrown in /home/askhtcom/public_html/survivingdating.com/wp-content/plugins/seo-facebook-comments/facebook/base_facebook.php on line 1273
WordPress › Error

There has been a critical error on your website.

Learn more about debugging in WordPress.