Better Dating Relationships: Before You Ask the Question, The Answer is NO!

| 01/01/2012 | Comments (0)


The Drive by Booty Set Up

“I just met a man a few weeks ago, and we’ve talked a few times on the telephone. Our work schedules are very different. We flirt a little bit with each other. He was at work and asked me what I was doing today. We haven’t been on a date yet, but when he asked what I was doing and I told him I was going to wash my hair, he offered to wash my hair for me. Hmm, don’t know how I feel about that.”

Now there are quite a few women that would think this was a harmless, flirtatious comment. In reality, this was a “ho test” – a question designed to check the morals, values and intelligence of the female involved by assessing her response. If she were naïve or desperate and invited him over to wash her hair, she would find herself in what folks call “a situation.”

Men running this game have the goal of getting to the woman’s house without spending any money on her so they can tap that ass and be out for free. I’ve seen this “booty” game run thousands of times and it saddens me that so many lonely women fall for it.

Just because you talk on the phone to somebody doesn’t mean you know them at all. Nor does it mean that person can be trusted. Men that are being respectful and concerned about a woman’s safety and comfort would never suggest such a thing. A slick booty hound is always on the lookout for an opportunity to score with a woman that doesn’t know the game.

Women that find this type of conversation with a relative stranger to be “sexy” are women that don’t understand how the booty game is run.

Why would you want to be “sexy” with someone you don’t know and who doesn’t see spending time with you, making an effort to really get to know you, as a priority? She admits that they have not yet been on a date, which means he is not her boyfriend or anything remotely emotionally tied to her.

During all their conversations, he has yet to even ask her out! Therefore, he should be denied any privileges of intimacy and commitment. Washing someone’s hair is something sensuous, intimate and loving, a task for a serious boyfriend or husband to do. It is not a task assigned to some miscellaneous stray fool you just met and have talked to on the phone a couple of times.

Our lives are all very busy and stressful, but we determinedly make time for things and people that are important to us. When men make the excuse that they are too busy to take a woman out and spend time with her face to face, that man doesn’t deserve an invitation to the warmth and sanctity of your home.

She would be in a very vulnerable position bent over a sink with soap in her eyes, and a stranger behind her back. Similar scenarios have been portrayed in Lifetime movies where the woman ends up date-raped or even murdered after placing herself in danger, being overly trusting of a stranger.


(continued on page 3 below)

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder

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