Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Deborrah's Latest Posts
Lonely? Here are Five Secrets To Meeting Mr. Right!
As Valentine’s Day rolls around again, single women throughout the country are wondering where their Mr. Right is hiding. Why are so many beautiful, accomplished women without the loving relationship they seek? Ms. HeartBeat has five great ideas for how to avoid wasting time on Mr. Wrong.
Men on the Down Low
The term “down-low” originated in the Black community to indicate something on the “hush-hush,” but it’s now used to describe men of all races who secretly have sex with other men.
1/23/11 – The Male Identified Woman
Discussion of how male-identified women encourage female submission, codependency and attitudes in men that are to the detriment of females. Male-identified women encourage men to remain close minded and judgmental about females.
1/9/11 – Dating the Cheap Man
When a man is a penny pincher with his money, is he tightfisted and guarded with his emotions as well? How important is male spending in the romantic selection and dating process?
How Long is Too Long to Wait for Marriage?
I am a 27 yr old White single mom, dating a Nigerian for 2 years. He wants to wait to marry until he can afford for me to stay at home, but his plan of script writing is shaky. How long am I supposed to wait?
The Emotionally Abusive Black Man – Part 2
Emotional abuse is the repeated use of negative behaviors by a male to control and gain the upper hand over a woman. When a man is emotionally abusive, every dismissive and critical word he says, every action he takes to make you feel badly, every threatening gesture he makes is being done with intent and malice. Don’t delude yourself into thinking emotional abuse is an accident.
How Much Leeway Should be Given to Adult Daughter Living at Home?
My 25 year old daughter, toddler grandchild and her baby daddy are living with us, but my daughter sees other men. My husband is very angry and asks her lots of questions that she doesn’t want to answer. How much leeway is appropriate here?
Emotional Abuse and the Emotionally Abusive Black Man
The most abusive men are those that feel the most powerless, least confident, and most insecure about their accomplishments or abilities. In the U.S. those men are for the most part, Black men. Part 1 of 2 on emotional abuse and emotionally abusive men.
Why Are Parents Afraid of Their Teens?
A no-nonsense father asks Ms. HeartBeat’s opinion about modern parents, and about how he handles disciplining his teenage sons.
When Black Men Attack
These men seek to hurt women with words; they feel empowered if they can make women feel emotional pain and psychological hurt. Every utterance is designed to make women feel small, a failure, less than men, sad, confused, and unintelligent.
Interracial Dating: She Said “Yes” to Marriage but…
She said “yes” to marriage but whenever she wants to do her own thing she says “we are not married!” How long should I endure her treating me like a boyfriend while I treat her like my wife?
Exposing Black Male Privilege
I’ve repeatedly heard Black men express the belief that they are victims of a matriarchial society, that they are denied rights and privileges and the opportunity to “be a man” by “strong Black women.” I’ve heard grown men whine that women need to be responsible for men’s attire (sagging pants), teen pregnancy amonst 11, 12, 13 year old girls (who are actually victimis of child molesters, not willing adults making a choice for sex), and assign to women the responsibility for changing the Black community. With women being blamed for all that, what the hell is it that Black men are going to get off their asses and do?
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