How to Date a Guy: Important Dating Questions to Ask and How to Ask Them
#5 How Does He Speak To You and Respond?
Asking questions is only part of the story; you also need to focus on what a guy says in response to your inquiries, as well as how he says it.
If he gets angry easily talking about subjects that may hit close to home in his heart and mind, you’ll know he has a quick temper. Does he maintain his respect for your opinions if they are different from his own, or does he sneer, mock and put your opinions down? Does he make any gender-related comments about how “women are” less important, intelligent or anything else compared to men? Does he place himself in the position of being an expert on you – knowing more about what you want, need and feel than you do? Any of these statements are a major red flag and could be warning you of an emotional abuser or control freak.
The only standard here to consider is if he says something that hurts your feelings, makes you feel small or unworthy, or confuses you – there should be no second date.
Book Just One Date at a Time
By the time the first date is over you should have enough information on this guy to either rule him out for lack of commonality, or decide you’d definitely like to date him again. That’s all the first date with a guy is for – to have a good time, get answers to important screening questions, and to decide if there is enough there to warrant seeing this person for a second date.
Remember ladies, most men do not want to know your whole life story, nor do they want to tell you theirs all on the first or second date. Take your time getting the information you need in a conversational, non-confrontational manner. Avoid firing questions at your date like a Nazi Gestapo!
Consider the people you meet to be like a sweet Bermuda onion. Appreciate and savor the whole onion before you slowly begin to peel back the tough outer layer then each layer of onion one thin skin at a time.
Move too fast though, and you’ll end up with tears in your eyes.
For more detailed information on how you can learn to recognize problem people in the dating pool before you get hurt, read my newest guide to better dating: “The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid!”
Find it in paperback or “The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid!” on Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble Nook, and a wide variety of other downloadable EBook formats.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
