If You Didn’t ‘Get’ How The Black Church Keeps Black Women Single…

. 07/04/2010 . 59 Comments

My controversial article on The Black Church and the machinations used to keep single black female members alone and giving their money to the church has caused a shit storm in Black America. The article went live on this blog on Tuesday, June 14, 2010 at exactly 7:11 p.m. (PST).  Within 48 hours it went viral and became THE subject of discussion on Black radio talk shows, Internet blogs, social media sites and discussion forums around the country.

Though somewhat surprised by the intensity of the debate, I am not at all shocked at the shake up the article has caused.  Always a maverick and unafraid of either contentious criticism or debate, who but Deb Cooper would have the gumption to question the motives of an institution held so dear by millions of Black people across the nation?  After all, if one is an avid church-goer, how likely are you to question your church on your own?

Subsequent to the controversy, my visits around the Internet to see what people have been saying about the article has been interesting. What I noticed was that many men and women read The Black Church article and got it right away; others read the words but clearly had little to no comprehension of the message. There were a lot of misunderstandings and a marked demonstration of the poor quality of education provided by school districts around the country. In other words, lots of folks don’t have a clue about what they read and a serious dearth of reading comprehension skills was demonstrated by comment posters.

It was interesting to me to read the comments both on my sites as well as other sites around the Internet, as they fell basically into three camps:

  1. Those that were 100% in agreement with the article without reservation. They applauded my courage to bring to light something that they’d been thinking for years but were too afraid to speak on. Many shared stories about personal experiences within the Institutional Black church that mirrored the criticisms I set out;
  2. Those that were in general agreement or who agreed with specific portions of the article.  Many of these admitted that there were problems in the Institutional Black Church and that churches were not perfect, but they chose to defend the church due to their offense that “they weren’t like that” or that the language was too strong for their taste. Others rejected the article due to their fears of change. Many men and women questioned me about solutions to the problems I set out… what I was proposing they do instead of going to church; and
  3. Those that absolutely hated it because they interpreted the article to be an attempt by a demon filled Anti Christ harpy to turn every Black women in the country into man-hating lesbian atheists. Really! Some of the charges laid at my feet were based on words and concepts that were not even addressed in the article.  Other readers and I were both left scratching our heads over how these folks got THAT out of the words clearly on the screen.  I’ve also been called worst names this week by so-called God-fearing Christians than I have my entire life by alleged worldly sinners!

Anyway, the three camps are the reason for this follow up article. This information is directed at all those that fall into Camp 2 and 3 from us in Camp 1. I’d like to share with you some of the MEEBO chat comments, post comments, and emails (gleaned from around the web) from people that really “got it!”

Maybe after reading them, those of you that weren’t clear on underlying messages contained in what you read will “get it” too.  This article is divided into nine pages; you’ll find the page numbers below the post.

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: The Black Church


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